Make a Great Game Sound Boring
- Thread starter CaptOfSerenity
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Battletoads. Move to the right, DIE! Move to the left DIE! Move to the bottom of the screen, DIE! Move to the top of the screen, DIE! Stand still, DIE! Cheat to make the game easier, DIE!
Metal Gear Solid: Protagonist with oddly erotic sounding codename and wearing tight spy suits infiltrates and kills terrorist organizations while needlessly complex conspiracies and absurd characters surround him. Also nano-machines explain everything.
Red Dead Redemption: Ride around on your horse for miles and get shot at by bandits endlessly.
Assassin's Creed: Uninteresting main character lives the past lives of his infinitely more cool ancestors through a magic machine only for us to have to focus on him just because he is the main character. There is also a lot of climbing and stabbing.
Call of Duty: Single player: Kill endless waves of Nazis or Russians/Arabs until you are satisfied. America saves the day fuck yeah! Multiplayer: Kill endless waves of enemies until you rage quit or go deaf from all the bratty 13 years old screaming in your ear.
Battlefield: Singleplayer: Same as above. Multiplayer: Spend hours trying to master vehicles that don't do much anyway, I mean seriously those helicopters can't fly for shit.
Crysis: Kill endless waves of Koreans until aliens come out of no where and fuck your shit up.
Halo: Generic action hero defends against alien invasion.
Uncharted: Indiana Jones: The Video Game.
Fallout: Survive in a wasteland wandering dreary, brown environments while endless waves of bandits and mutants shoot at you. Also decide between numerous ambiguously bad choices of government that all seem to be just as bad as the next.
Mario: Chubby plumber, who does no actual plumbing, gets dumb girlfriend continuously captured by a fire breathing turtle-dragon and jumps on top of his various minions' heads to save the day.
Sonic: Blue hedgehog that can run at the speed of sound tries to fight fat guy from taking over the world.
Red Dead Redemption: Ride around on your horse for miles and get shot at by bandits endlessly.
Assassin's Creed: Uninteresting main character lives the past lives of his infinitely more cool ancestors through a magic machine only for us to have to focus on him just because he is the main character. There is also a lot of climbing and stabbing.
Call of Duty: Single player: Kill endless waves of Nazis or Russians/Arabs until you are satisfied. America saves the day fuck yeah! Multiplayer: Kill endless waves of enemies until you rage quit or go deaf from all the bratty 13 years old screaming in your ear.
Battlefield: Singleplayer: Same as above. Multiplayer: Spend hours trying to master vehicles that don't do much anyway, I mean seriously those helicopters can't fly for shit.
Crysis: Kill endless waves of Koreans until aliens come out of no where and fuck your shit up.
Halo: Generic action hero defends against alien invasion.
Uncharted: Indiana Jones: The Video Game.
Fallout: Survive in a wasteland wandering dreary, brown environments while endless waves of bandits and mutants shoot at you. Also decide between numerous ambiguously bad choices of government that all seem to be just as bad as the next.
Mario: Chubby plumber, who does no actual plumbing, gets dumb girlfriend continuously captured by a fire breathing turtle-dragon and jumps on top of his various minions' heads to save the day.
Sonic: Blue hedgehog that can run at the speed of sound tries to fight fat guy from taking over the world.
Skyrim: You trudge around in the snow and dirt and get cleaved in the chest by some dick with an axe.
Minecraft: You punch a tree then make some shitty tools and dig a hole.
Minecraft: You punch a tree then make some shitty tools and dig a hole.
Wait... whatever else that make be it doesn't sound boring!Shadowstar38 said:
League of legends: You spend hundreds of hours playing the same map over and over again, with the same objective. And more than half the time the game is made harder by your teammates making dick moves that you cant do anything about.
*goes to play LoL*
Assassin's Creed II: You just run around various cities looking awesome and climbing buildings and assassinating people. So boring.
PS: It's my favorite game of all time.
PS: It's my favorite game of all time.
Hahahaha, 'collect animals' genuinely had my laughing, this is win.Lightning Delight said:
OT: Minecraft: You just pick up blocks and make other types of blocks with them. To make blocky buildings....
LA Noire: Pick up some stuff, write stuff down in a notepad, shout at people and drive to places.
No iron sights.
No cover mechanics.
No rifle scopes.
No stealth mechanics.
No puzzles.
No realistic graphics.
No realistic enemies.
Painkiller.
No cover mechanics.
No rifle scopes.
No stealth mechanics.
No puzzles.
No realistic graphics.
No realistic enemies.
Painkiller.
Minecraft - No story, not even any real arc, just a huge world with no structure and anything you accomplish will be immediately destroyed by exploding green penis monsters.
Morrowind - Walk around a bland eternally brown swamp the size of a city being harassed by flying bastards who are a pain to hit until you contract a disease and find some gloves that let you kill god.
Trauma Centre - Cut people open with the help of magic wonder gel and try to remove either beetles, triangles, centipedes or a spider from various internal organs despite them having obviously fatal wounds.
Etrian Odyssey - A cartography simulator.
Morrowind - Walk around a bland eternally brown swamp the size of a city being harassed by flying bastards who are a pain to hit until you contract a disease and find some gloves that let you kill god.
Trauma Centre - Cut people open with the help of magic wonder gel and try to remove either beetles, triangles, centipedes or a spider from various internal organs despite them having obviously fatal wounds.
Etrian Odyssey - A cartography simulator.
shadow of the colossus
Run around the open world doing nothing until you climb on a dude stab his week spot and kill him. Repeat around 16 times
Run around the open world doing nothing until you climb on a dude stab his week spot and kill him. Repeat around 16 times
Skyrim: you talk to a dragon who speaks english(or whatever language you have it in) then in dragon.