Mall Fight RP: (CLOSED) (FINISHED)

[MinimanZombie]

I rip the blindfold off. "I think I can resist a bunch of tortured hookers."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"You would not believe how incredibly specific my kinks are." I take off the blindfold.

 

[Saltarius]

"Right."

What occurs next is such a terrible onslaught of desperate sirens trying to make us hear their call, the content of which cannot be posted on the Escapist or any other decent forum site.

We make our way to the next Circle, Gluttony.

"This is gonna be fuckin' easy."

 

[Paddy the Second]

"I already ate everything guys let's move."

 

[Saltarius]

"I think I need to crack open the window to let all the diabeetus out."

Whatever the hell threats there are in Gluttony sure as hell cannot catch us, on account of their obesity and shit.

Next Circle, Greed.

"Oh...shit."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Oh looks, there is the other Cerberus." I realize we aren't in the G-Van anymore. "Oh shit." I'm all out of giant dog toys.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"We're in the mall. We have everything we could ever want. What's up next?"

 

[Saltarius]

"I dunno man that golds...pretty fuckin sweet."

I snap out of it and slam on the gas to get us the fuck out of there and into Anger.

"Now we should start looking for him."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Anger." I pick up the pace, knowing Cerberus is moving towards us. "This will be fun"

 

[Saltarius]

"NOPE. NO XOT. NOPE."

I'm swearing under my breath as this goddamn three-headed dog keeps giving chase.

"Try not to get hurled out of the van by what I'm about to do."

I make a U-turn and head back to Greed and lure Cerberus to a pool of molten gold.

"Goodbye, Van. We hardly knew ya. Now then...JUMP!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

I try to leap out the van, but Cerberus snatches the van and me up. "Come on! Good doggie!" I climb out the van and onto the back of the beast. I then grab the middle heads set of ears. "Come on. You're going to help us." Cerberus obeys. "Good boy. Jump up guys. I got us a ride."

 

[Saltarius]

"I was going to make him into a giant ass golden statue, but this works even better. Can't wait until I can mount cybernetics on this *****. Unless it's a guy."

We ride off back to Anger and easily make our way to Heresy.

 

[Paddy the Second]

"Don't mention Mohammed, I retconned him from my copy of Inferno."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Heresy eh?" I look at all the flaming tombs. "I don't think he's in here. He may be in Violence though."

 

[Saltarius]

"Guys, we might want to start look-wait...the only circles left are Violence, Fruad and Treachery. Where the hell is Xot? He's like all three!"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Well Mall fight is based around fighting. He ran one of those malls. Plus, he said he's too old to do it anymore. I reckon that's where we'll find him."

 

[Saltarius]

"Onward Cerberus! Ride!"

We rush off to Violence, in search of Dickish McCageFight. I mean Xot.

"So...what do you think that shit about guardians he was spewing was about?"

 

[MinimanZombie]

"Maybe there the ones running everything. Maybe they set this all up. FLUTHLU, us meeting. Or maybe that just happened anyway. What I'm trying to say id I don't have a clue."

 

[Saltarius]

"Right. Xot's essence or some hippie bullshit should be around here. The outer ring is resevred essentially for Mall Fighters. Maybe if we just accepted Minos' judgement, we could've done this quicker and without losing the Van."

I then see there is a lot of fucking souls duking it out in an arena, douchy guy overseeing it.

"He's probably in the pit."

 

[MinimanZombie]

"I have a plan." I walk over and join in the fight, slaughtering all the spirits. Only problem is, they respawn at a very fast pace. It's getting slower the more the die though. My plan is, to get them killed so much, I have long enough to grab Xot. This might not work, but oh well.