Maths and Science Jokes!

[Umwerfer]

never though there could be found amusement in jokes based on mathmatics^^ I stand corrected. anyhow, only one I know:
http://www.dodeca-t.com/picpile/divided_by_zero.jpg

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

A professor of theoretical physics put this question on a test:
If you were to travel through a wormhole to Proxima Centauri in 1919, get out a high-powered telescope to view the Earth, then what formula will you see Einstein writing on a chalkboard and what country will he be in?

Nothing, travelling through a wormhole would splat you like a frog in a liquidiser.

Before the fact that light wouldn't travel through it, so the telescope would be useless. @)

Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and Noah releases all the animals, saying, "Go forth and multiply." Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" asks Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there," say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass and Noah checks up on the snakes again. He sees lots of little snakes; everybody is happy. Noah says, "So tell me how the trees helped." "Certainly," reply the snakes. "We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."

 

[slacker_bob]

Theorem: There is no least interesting number.

Proof: Take the least interesting number you can think of. Hey, that's pretty interesting! QED

 

[Erana]

Not exactly a joke, but all the biologists I know are either professors or really smexy gamer chicks.

You should introduce me to some from the latter category.

Here's the punchline: They're all either gay or taken. =P

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Not exactly a joke, but all the biologists I know are either professors or really smexy gamer chicks.

You should introduce me to some from the latter category.

Here's the punchline: They're all either gay or taken. =P

Badum-Tsssssh!

 

[nimrandir]

If a number lies outside of the real line, it is imaginary. That is, it HAS to be expressed in form of A+Bi.

Speaking as a mathematician, I would call a number in the form you describe complex, rather than imaginary. A pure imaginary number has a real part of zero (that is, A = 0).

I should stop now, though, since this is nowhere near a joke.

 

[RedDiablo]

Q: Why is Helium a king?

A: Because it is a noble gas!

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Q: Why is Helium a king?

A: Because it is a noble gas!

What about Neon? It's a noble gas as well!

 

[nimrandir]

Maybe neon is an earl. By the way, Marquis Krypton wants nothing to do with any of this.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Maybe neon is an earl. By the way, Marquis Krypton wants nothing to do with any of this.

Then what's Argon?

 

[nimrandir]

It is a little less than one percent of the Earth's atmosphere -- and a viscount.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

It is a little less than one percent of the Earth's atmosphere -- and a viscount.

And Argon?

Edit: sorry, I'm retarded I meant Xenon.

 

[Hunde Des Krieg]

Biologists think they are biochemists,
Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,
Physicists think they are Gods,
And God thinks he is a Mathematician.

xkcd did a version of that one:

A physicist and an engineer are in a hot-air balloon when a storm springs up, blowing them off course. When the storm subsides, the physicist yells, "Can anyone tell us where we are?"

A moment later, a reply is shouted: "You're in a hot-air balloon!"

"Huh," say the engineer, "a mathematician."

"Why do you say that?" asks the physicist.

"Well," say the engineer, "the answer was completely correct and utterly useless."

That was hilarious!

 

[nimrandir]

It is a little less than one percent of the Earth's atmosphere -- and a viscount.

And Argon?

Edit: sorry, I'm retarded I meant Xenon.

The throne regrets to announce that Baron Xenon was stripped of his title and lands following the exposure of his dalliance with a sextet of halogen maidservants.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

It is a little less than one percent of the Earth's atmosphere -- and a viscount.

And Argon?

Edit: sorry, I'm retarded I meant Xenon.

The throne regrets to announce that Baron Xenon was stripped of his title and lands following the exposure of his dalliance with a sextet of halogen maidservants.

What does Radon count as?

 

[nimrandir]

I'll let you know once I can get it the heck out of my basement.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

I'll let you know once I can get it the heck out of my basement.

You can't forget about Ununoctium!

 

[51gunner]

I'll let you know once I can get it the heck out of my basement.

You can't forget about Ununoctium!

Sure you can. Here now, gone one tiny fraction of a millisecond later.
What I've got to mind is the nuclear reactor less than 1000m away from me.

 

[nimrandir]

Unfortunately, the valiant squire Ununoctium disintegrated before he could be granted a title.

 

[crimson5pheonix]

Unfortunately, the valiant squire Ununoctium disintegrated before he could be granted a title.

That made me laugh. Alright then, what makes the Noble gasses Noble? Did they exploit the workers? Did they arbitrarily claim the title arbitrarily? Why don't the other elements split off and form an anarco-sydicalist commune?