Maths and Science Jokes!

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Umwerfer

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Nov 3, 2008
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never though there could be found amusement in jokes based on mathmatics^^ I stand corrected. anyhow, only one I know:
http://www.dodeca-t.com/picpile/divided_by_zero.jpg
 
Feb 13, 2008
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ChristmasChild said:
A professor of theoretical physics put this question on a test:
If you were to travel through a wormhole to Proxima Centauri in 1919, get out a high-powered telescope to view the Earth, then what formula will you see Einstein writing on a chalkboard and what country will he be in?
Nothing, travelling through a wormhole would splat you like a frog in a liquidiser.

Before the fact that light wouldn't travel through it, so the telescope would be useless. @)

Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and Noah releases all the animals, saying, "Go forth and multiply." Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" asks Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there," say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass and Noah checks up on the snakes again. He sees lots of little snakes; everybody is happy. Noah says, "So tell me how the trees helped." "Certainly," reply the snakes. "We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."
 

slacker_bob

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Dec 4, 2008
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Theorem: There is no least interesting number.

Proof: Take the least interesting number you can think of. Hey, that's pretty interesting! QED
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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Calobi said:
Erana said:
Not exactly a joke, but all the biologists I know are either professors or really smexy gamer chicks.
You should introduce me to some from the latter category.
Here's the punchline: They're all either gay or taken. =P
 

nimrandir

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Oct 30, 2008
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olicon said:
If a number lies outside of the real line, it is imaginary. That is, it HAS to be expressed in form of A+Bi.
Speaking as a mathematician, I would call a number in the form you describe complex, rather than imaginary. A pure imaginary number has a real part of zero (that is, A = 0).

I should stop now, though, since this is nowhere near a joke.
 

crimson5pheonix

It took 6 months to read my title.
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Jun 6, 2008
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nimrandir said:
It is a little less than one percent of the Earth's atmosphere -- and a viscount.
And Argon?

Edit: sorry, I'm retarded I meant Xenon.
 

Hunde Des Krieg

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Sep 30, 2008
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Shellsh0cker said:
Cpt. Red said:
Biologists think they are biochemists,
Biochemists think they are Physical Chemists,
Physical Chemists think they are Physicists,
Physicists think they are Gods,
And God thinks he is a Mathematician.
xkcd did a version of that one:


A physicist and an engineer are in a hot-air balloon when a storm springs up, blowing them off course. When the storm subsides, the physicist yells, "Can anyone tell us where we are?"

A moment later, a reply is shouted: "You're in a hot-air balloon!"

"Huh," say the engineer, "a mathematician."

"Why do you say that?" asks the physicist.

"Well," say the engineer, "the answer was completely correct and utterly useless."
That was hilarious!
 

nimrandir

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Oct 30, 2008
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crimson5pheonix said:
nimrandir said:
It is a little less than one percent of the Earth's atmosphere -- and a viscount.
And Argon?

Edit: sorry, I'm retarded I meant Xenon.
The throne regrets to announce that Baron Xenon was stripped of his title and lands following the exposure of his dalliance with a sextet of halogen maidservants.
 

crimson5pheonix

It took 6 months to read my title.
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nimrandir said:
crimson5pheonix said:
nimrandir said:
It is a little less than one percent of the Earth's atmosphere -- and a viscount.
And Argon?

Edit: sorry, I'm retarded I meant Xenon.
The throne regrets to announce that Baron Xenon was stripped of his title and lands following the exposure of his dalliance with a sextet of halogen maidservants.
What does Radon count as?
 

51gunner

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Jun 12, 2008
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crimson5pheonix said:
nimrandir said:
I'll let you know once I can get it the heck out of my basement.
You can't forget about Ununoctium!
Sure you can. Here now, gone one tiny fraction of a millisecond later.
What I've got to mind is the nuclear reactor less than 1000m away from me.
 

nimrandir

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Oct 30, 2008
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Unfortunately, the valiant squire Ununoctium disintegrated before he could be granted a title.
 

crimson5pheonix

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nimrandir said:
Unfortunately, the valiant squire Ununoctium disintegrated before he could be granted a title.
That made me laugh. Alright then, what makes the Noble gasses Noble? Did they exploit the workers? Did they arbitrarily claim the title arbitrarily? Why don't the other elements split off and form an anarco-sydicalist commune?