No, I understood the joke, not you. It still doesn't change the fact that 2*2 approximates to 3 and I am an inherently superior Mathematician.MikeTheElf said:
Maths and Science Jokes!
- Thread starter MagikMystery
- Start date
Recommended Videos
A mathematician is flying non-stop from Edmonton to Frankfurt with AirTransat. The scheduled flying time is nine hours.
Some time after taking off, the pilot announces that one engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "Don't worry - we're safe. The only noticeable effect this will have for us is that our total flying time will be ten hours instead of nine."
A few hours into the flight, the pilot informs the passengers that another engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "But don't worry - we're still safe. Only our flying time will go up to twelve hours."
Some time later, a third engine fails and has to be turned off. But the pilot reassures the passengers: "Don't worry - even with one engine, we're still perfectly safe. It just means that it will take sixteen hours total for this plane to arrive in Frankfurt."
The mathematician remarks to his fellow passengers: "If the last engine breaks down, too, then we'll be in the air for twenty-four hours altogether!"
Some time after taking off, the pilot announces that one engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "Don't worry - we're safe. The only noticeable effect this will have for us is that our total flying time will be ten hours instead of nine."
A few hours into the flight, the pilot informs the passengers that another engine had to be turned off due to mechanical failure: "But don't worry - we're still safe. Only our flying time will go up to twelve hours."
Some time later, a third engine fails and has to be turned off. But the pilot reassures the passengers: "Don't worry - even with one engine, we're still perfectly safe. It just means that it will take sixteen hours total for this plane to arrive in Frankfurt."
The mathematician remarks to his fellow passengers: "If the last engine breaks down, too, then we'll be in the air for twenty-four hours altogether!"
Three tribes live in an area, spread out like this.
.
. .
However, they only have one pot amongst them, so they rotate it. The first tribe finishes and takes the pot to the second tribe.
.
.-------.
The second tribe uses it and takes it to the third.
.
|
|
|
.-------.
The first tribe realizes they need it back, so send someone to the first tribe with a message. "Hi, pot in use?"
.
. .
However, they only have one pot amongst them, so they rotate it. The first tribe finishes and takes the pot to the second tribe.
.
.-------.
The second tribe uses it and takes it to the third.
.
|
|
|
.-------.
The first tribe realizes they need it back, so send someone to the first tribe with a message. "Hi, pot in use?"
I am new ot here, but I have a few....
Why are quantum physicists so bad in bed?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position
A physics professor, who was teaching a graduate course on superstring theory, decided to add an essay question to this year's final exam. The instructions read, "Describe the universe in 400 words or less and give three examples.
And here is a historical/mathematical/physics riddle for everyone....
A professor of theoretical physics put this question on a test:
If you were to travel through a wormhole to Proxima Centauri in 1919, get out a high-powered telescope to view the Earth, then what formula will you see Einstein writing on a chalkboard and what country will he be in?
Why are quantum physicists so bad in bed?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position
A physics professor, who was teaching a graduate course on superstring theory, decided to add an essay question to this year's final exam. The instructions read, "Describe the universe in 400 words or less and give three examples.
And here is a historical/mathematical/physics riddle for everyone....
A professor of theoretical physics put this question on a test:
If you were to travel through a wormhole to Proxima Centauri in 1919, get out a high-powered telescope to view the Earth, then what formula will you see Einstein writing on a chalkboard and what country will he be in?
String Theorist: Pity, really.... There are billions of Universes where the LHC works, and I got stuck with this one. What are the odds? (Highbrow joke)
xkcd did a version of that one:Cpt. Red said:
A physicist and an engineer are in a hot-air balloon when a storm springs up, blowing them off course. When the storm subsides, the physicist yells, "Can anyone tell us where we are?"
A moment later, a reply is shouted: "You're in a hot-air balloon!"
"Huh," says the engineer, "a mathematician."
"Why do you say that?" asks the physicist.
"Well," says the engineer, "the answer was completely correct and utterly useless."
What's the integral of 1/(CABIN) dCABIN? ...It's a houseboat!
Also, try this guy http://www.lab-initio.com/
Also, try this guy http://www.lab-initio.com/
Nothing, travelling through a wormhole would splat you like a frog in a liquidiser.ChristmasChild said:
Before the fact that light wouldn't travel through it, so the telescope would be useless. @)
Noah's Ark lands after The Flood and Noah releases all the animals, saying, "Go forth and multiply." Several months pass and Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. "What's the problem?" asks Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there," say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass and Noah checks up on the snakes again. He sees lots of little snakes; everybody is happy. Noah says, "So tell me how the trees helped." "Certainly," reply the snakes. "We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."
Theorem: There is no least interesting number.
Proof: Take the least interesting number you can think of. Hey, that's pretty interesting! QED
Proof: Take the least interesting number you can think of. Hey, that's pretty interesting! QED
