Metroid Film...by Uwe Boll starring... Jessica simpson

[kannibus]

*CRIES*

This is not happening. This is not happening.

*Curls into ball and rocks in corner*

Why are we to be tormented so? Sure we're not a perfect Eden, but it could be worse...

 

[_Cake_]

Can't be any worse then what Nintendo has been doing to Samus lately. It's all been down hill from the conception of the zero suite. Stop trying to whore her out, she's not a sexpot she's a badass V_V

Because the bikini she was wearing in the very first game was so much more modest than the zero suit.

That was like one sec at the end, nobody played it for sex appeal. I think the bikini was the only thing they could think of to signify she's female for the reveal(it's not like she could fit a dress underneath). She was like 1 giant pixel so you can just show her face.

 

[CompanionCube]

Please get canceled.

Please please please pleaaaseeee

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

Whether you are a Metroid fan or not, and whether you think Metroid (or any other game) does or does not have movie potential, it doesn't sway the fact that Uwe Boll is nothing short of entertainment cancer.

Despite Nintendo re-releasing that game about 20 times to make embarrassing amounts of money from their fans, it's a game that holds a special place in the hearts of most gamers due it being the first game to ever have a female protagonist. A very bad ass heroine at that.

Metroid just doesn't have the kind structure to be a compelling movie, but I think that when most people think of it being made into a film, they're thinking something like Avatar minus all the wordy-talky meatbags in favor of greater sci-fi, special effects bonanza.

It all comes down to a hot chick wearing half a tank and frying anything that so much looks at her funny, and that I think is something we can all believe in.

by the by, if you haven't already.... http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

It could go the *other* route, and just be about Samus' relationship with the Chozo and then her first operations on Zebes. But That might be worse (if not done properly) as you could go through the entire movie, and only in the last 10 minutes does she equip the eponymous armour and blow up stuff.

Samus isn't just human, but is representative (both physically in a small way, and culturally in a BIG way) of a largely extinct race of people.

Might be interesting to focus on the whole aspect of the after-effects of 'First contact' relationship between the tri-lateral disparate groups of the GF (Humans), Chozo and Space Pirates.

That being said that would actually require innovation and level of sensitivity concerning the subject material (without just falling to 'OMG .. SHOOTER! Therefore lets just have a whole series of gun battles') that is usually beyond Hollywood whenever they get a licence.

 

[rekabdarb]

Metroid has been attempted as a movie half a dozen times, and Nintendo has sworn they will make no more movies.

You've been punk'd, sir.

yeah, but ninento likes the amount of FABULOUS MONEY they get from the people who buy the same thing 3 times.

edit: so the chances of it being real are the same to fake in my opinion

There are no chances. It's fake.

Live-action movie

In 2003, two producers optioned the rights to create a movie based on Metroid, but the rights expired.[3] John Woo reacquired the rights a few years later, and Lion Rock Productions was to produce and release the film before 2006, but it either has been canceled or remains in development hell.[3][45] On April 1, 2005, IGN posted an April Fool's Day article reporting critically panned director Uwe Boll would be directing the Metroid movie, with Samus being portrayed by Michelle Rodriguez, who stated the Nintendo GameCube is for kids. In 2010, IGN posted an article about potential video game movies and their current status. Metroid was marked as "Dormant." They stated that the last time that the movie was mentioned was in 2004 and that the movie was likely canceled.

EDIT: *****'en

you put in bold the wrong part chief lol, but aite i guess it's fake

 

[muffincakes]

I?d hate to see them ruin a great franchise like Metroid with this film.

Yes, because one bad entry would completely destroy the series and no one would ever be able to go back and play Metroid again. Right? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mHw5g55oC4]

Also, I'm fairly certain that it's an obvious fake. Well, maybe not on the obvious part, but definitely the fake.

 

[DefunctTheory]

you put in bold the wrong part chief lol, but aite i guess it's fake

I bolded the part with the Director's name in it: the exact director in the article from the OP, with just a different actresses name.

lol

 

[rekabdarb]

you put in bold the wrong part chief lol, but aite i guess it's fake

I bolded the part with the Director's name in it: the exact director in the article from the OP, with just a different actresses name.

lol

yeah, it also said 2005, and it is no longer april. Also please note the 'Dormant' which means it could eventually be made into a movie, it's just not being done... yet

 

[IronCladNinja]

I love Metroid games, but they are the worst possible games to make into a movie. Fortunately it will never, ever happen.

 

[Tomster595]

I.. I may cry

 

[DefunctTheory]

you put in bold the wrong part chief lol, but aite i guess it's fake

I bolded the part with the Director's name in it: the exact director in the article from the OP, with just a different actresses name.

lol

yeah, it also said 2005, and it is no longer april. Also please note the 'Dormant' which means it could eventually be made into a movie, it's just not being done... yet

So the last time a Metroid movie was mentioned was in 2005... as a joke. With the same director name. Which means...

That this is an extension of a five year old joke? Yup. Add in Nintendo's recent reluctance to even talk about movie making, and their habit of dropping hammers on fan made movies, and you have something a bit more strict than 'dormant,' regardless of IGN's theoretical stiffy for video game movies.

 

[Deofuta]

Oh, gods no. Keanu Reeves in Cowboy Bebop I will tolerate, but this, this is...SPARTA madness.

Fuck it, I'd rather have Keanu Reeves playing as Samus and then have a good director. Uwe Boll = Death to video game movies.

At least Keanu can fight.

I can now for the first time thank GOD that Nintendo is so hard ass about movies. It appears the Mario and Luigi movie traumatized them enough.

 

[AMMO Kid]

I'm surprised Uwe Boll got the license to do it. I thought Nintendo was smarter than that. I was wrong.

 

[MasterWhatever]

Uh....I jus...*Head Explodes*

 

[Double A]

Please kill them Nintendo. Please.

We're begging you!

 

[LewsTherin]

HERESY

 

[Nazulu]

Sounds like bull shit. If it was true though then there will be blood, I guarantee it.