Metroid Film...by Uwe Boll starring... Jessica simpson

[Last Bullet]

*Gets down and prays for the first time in 14 years* "God?... This is a joke, right?"

 

[Cain_Zeros]

It's a joke. Nintendo wouldn't let Uwe Boll anywhere near one of their franchises. And if someone does somehow end up making a Metroid movie, it sure as hell wouldn't star Jessica Simpson. She doesn't fit the character in any way. Maybe the woman from this Metroid Prime 2 ad?


If Nintendo thinks she works, I'd say she works. Assuming she can act when they have her speak too.

 

[archvile93]

It can't be true. If it is, I will personally murder Boll with a mace.

 

[Julianking93]

Why is IGN treating it like a good thing?

 

[thublihnk]

It's the perfect storm. This is going to be another Plan 9, you guys. Steel yourselves.

This is going to be the greatest movie of all fucking time. I am so excited.

 

[LikeTeeth]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[Eisenfaust]

...


i know comparatively nothing about metroid/don't care about it too much (ie: i only just found out samus was a girl), and even i don't want to see that made...

*shudder*

 

[Zeraki]

If this movie is ever made I will build a Dalek war suit and end the world with it.

Will it be armed with Jammy Dodgers?

In all seriousness though... this is just wrong. It just has to be some sort of a bad joke.

 

[steve-iii]

what a load of bullshit!

 

[Chaos-Spider]

If this movie features a platypus, gratuitous sex and comes out in Australia I will probably consider seeing it regardless of quality merely so that I can be an arachnid of my word*.

It'll make world domination so much easier that way.

*From escape to the movies: New Moon thread.

 

[JWAN]

LEAVE SAMUS ARAN ALONE!

Just dont watch it. Its not that damn hard. I know its going to suck, you know its going to suck, Ewe Boll knows its going to suck, Jessica Simpson has squirrels juggling knives in her head so she thinks its great...

 

[TheRocketeer]

I can't wait for Uwe Boll to finally tackle Metal Gear Solid.

Please, God, make this happen.

 

[Wintermoot]

mr. boll its ok you want to make movie BUT DONT MAKE THEM FROM THINGS THAT ARE ALRAEDY ASTABLISHED! this is gonna suck!

 

[ars731]

THATS NOT TRUE!!!! thats impossible!!!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

What have we done to deserve such horrible treatment of our beloved video games.

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

NO! IT CAN'T BE TRUE! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

 

[NuclearPenguin]

Spoiler

Metroid is now dead to me.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

Metroid has been attempted as a movie half a dozen times, and Nintendo has sworn they will make no more movies.

You've been punk'd, sir.

yeah this seems like a tabloid article to me.

Besides, who really cares? That mario movie was garbage and people still play it and love the series. I doubt its the be all and end all of gaming civilization as the OP makes it out to be.

Remember we always have the choice not to watch these things.

Actually, if Uwe made that movie, I would watch it just for the lulz.

 

[Yoshi-Pop]

Chill people. This is clearly a fake if you read the rest of the article, that'll b made quite plain.