Microsoft Warns: Don't Stand Your Xbox One Vertical

[Norithics]

I would bet money that this thing, despite being $500, is still going to have hardware failures out the wazoo. That is, I would bet money, but the 7 Xbox 360s I owned inside of a year's worth of time, cost me a cool $700 that I'll never see again.

If you're curious, I never did end up getting a working 360.

 

[Abomination]

throw out the baby with the bathwater

For all my interest in the Xbox One, I think this is literally the most interesting thing to come out of this news.

When did that expression originate? Where?

In the late 1800s and early 1900s bathing at least weekly was becoming more and more common. In the patriarchal family structure the father would bathe first, then the mother, then the rest of the family descending by age - in the same water. So when it came time for the baby it was being bathed in the water the previous members of the family had bathed in already. The saying "throw the baby out with the bathwater" came about, I guess, after an incident of a person tipping the water out and forgetting the baby was in the tub. The baby was probably hard to see (I guess) because the water would be so murky after so many people bathed in it.

So, essentially, the baby was the last to bathe and the water would then be tossed out. Make sure you don't fuck up by getting rid of a good thing while you're trying to get rid of a bad thing.

As for the XBone, is there anything it CAN do that people want? Don't want Kinect? You don't need to use it, but you still have to buy it. Want to place the XBone somewhere? Perhaps in the same vertical space you had your 360? Too bad, that'll break it.

Captcha: what the fuck does this even say?! A computer couldn't work it out and a person most certainly can't.

 

[Soak]

Look out, it's a trap!
They're just trying to disguise that their console will horrificly fail at launch, as the 360 did, by saying "you put it vertical, didn't you?! Your risk, your damage, our gain!"

Probaly not, but honestly, how's the current state of this console generation?

Nintendo still has inferior specs tied with few interesting game deals and about 0 progress for their own games. Windows pretty much fucked up the marketing of the Xbone from the second they started to talk about it and continue to upset most of the gaming community through horrible - or put diplomatically, "customer-unfriendly" - design choices. And Sony... well, Sony... guys, help me out, what have they done wrong since their networks data have been compromised, that was already 2 years ago, there has gotta be something?

However, i think i'm sticking to Jahtzee's suggestion about this console generation: Probably won't get one.

 

[Fijiman]

When I first read the title I though it meant don't stand or your Xbone and had to wonder what kind of retard stands on their Xbox unless they're purposely trying to break it. This, however, is somewhat understandable. Although, I have to wonder why they just didn't make it so that it didn't matter if it was horizontal or vertical in the first place.

 

[TomWiley]

What's the news value here?

Did this become one of the most viewed articles of the on Escapist because people are genuinely upset they won't be able to put their Xbox One on the side?

 

[BoredRolePlayer]

What's the news value here?

Did this become one of the most viewed articles of the on Escapist because people are genuinely upset they won't be able to put their Xbox One on the side?

I agree this sounds like a article to ***** about something else with the X Box One

 

[chadachada123]

What's the news value here?

Did this become one of the most viewed articles of the on Escapist because people are genuinely upset they won't be able to put their Xbox One on the side?

I just see it as a PSA, a heads-up for previous owners that would have rightfully assumed that it could lay vertical otherwise.

"Hey, by the way, even though tons of other systems, including our previous one, can be set vertical, don't do it for this one."

Sucks for people that don't have space, but it's absolutely good to let people know ahead of time to help inform them.

 

[Excludos]

Wait.....So if I buy this thing which is $500+ I can't put it vertically? If I spend $500+ on a thing, I want to put it any orientation I please!

Microsoft is going to get the stupidest company in America award this year.

Yeah, I mean. if I buy a car for 100 000 or more, I want to put it vertically too! Micrsoft is sure in the running for stupidest costumer award at least.

 

[Olas]

Do they think people are really that stupid?

I'm serious here.

EDIT: saw the statistic...don't know why anyone would do that to hardware that obviously was meant to be horizontal. Only thing I can think of relates to saving space.

Or they could be confused because other, similar looking consoles were clearly designed to be vertical.

and thus assume that vertical works.

 

[Saltyk]

Is it me, or does just scream shoddy, cheap, parts? Considering the Wii, and PS3 (the first and second iterations at any rate) had slot loading drives and could be stood vertical, how poor a drive do you need so that this is problem?

Exactly the thought I had, makes you wonder just how deep MS's accountants claws dug into the development of the XBone.

I mean the freaking Wii has a multi-orientation drive, how cheap are these fools?

Very cheap. Remember, the original idea was to use the drive just for installation purposes. After that you wouldn't need the disk. So they used the cheapest drives they could find. But when the time came to reverse the mandatory HDD installs, they didn't bother to change the quality of the drive. Even without putting it vertically, the drive is still a cheap one and I wouldn't be surprised if that's the first thing to go.

Oh, wow. I didn't even think of that. And it makes perfect sense. They used a shitty drive because it was only going to be used maybe 10% of the time the console was running. Because why use a top of the line on something like that? I'll admit that as a frugal person, I would do the same. But when you make a 180 on one of your policies that made that okay, it kinda ruins that entire concept.

Great. Now I wonder what will brick the console first. RROD-2.0 or the drive dying?
Place your bets, folks!

this is not worth getting worked up about. btw didnt you all already buy a ps4 anyway.

Not unless it's November 15th and no one told me. It's not, right? I didn't oversleep a month and a half did I? Crap. I wonder if I still have a job.

Are people seriously upset over this?

Come on, people, even fucking reddit is done with the ceaseless Microsoft vitriol, and I don't think they could bring themselves to beat a horse that's still breathing.

This is like complaining that you can't put it upside down.

You mean I can't? RAGE! I want to place my console upside down. That's how I like it. If Microsoft doesn't want my business, they could just say so. Down with Micro$oft!

In all seriousness:
I don't think it's a deal breaker or anything. But it does speak volumes about the value of the workmanship. And could be annoying to those who find it easier to place it vertically, or just think it looks cooler that way.

People are making bad comparisons by comparing it to a car or a toaster. No, it's more like making a phone, but not being able to turn on speaker phone. Sure, you're probably not going to use it most of the time. Most people probably don't use it at all. But it's a nice feature to have. And when you do want it for that one call that it would be useful, it's annoying that you can't. And for those who often use the speaker phone function, it's very annoying. It still works as a phone and has all the other features you expect, but one fairly minor one is missing.
Not a perfect analogy, but way better than comparing it to using a car vertically. Since, no one would ever think to do that. Because cars have never been used like that and never featured that function.

 

[Evil Smurf]

Yeah, I mean. if I buy a car for 100 000 or more, I want to put it vertically too! Micrsoft is sure in the running for stupidest costumer award at least.

I'll let Olas explain the situation here

Or they could be confused because other, similar looking consoles were clearly designed to be vertical.

and thus assume that vertical works.

Because at the end of the day, we are buying a console, not a car.

 

[Caiphus]

This isn't a problem for me (partly because I'm not buying an Xbone, but there you go). I generally keep all my consoles horizontal. Apart from the Wii, which seemed to enjoy it. The crazy thing.

Anywho, I'd be more concerned about the large portion (I would assume at least 50%) of Xbox users who don't read gaming news. Especially if Microsoft is marketing this stuff to non-gamers. How are they gonna know? And who the hell reads safety manuals for consumer electronics these days anyway?

 

[wolf_isthebest]

Whatever you do don't turn on your xbox one. You might break it!

 

[Eldritch Warlord]

Have you all developed some sort of knee-jerk hate reaction to any Xbox One news?
All they're saying is that the console is not designed to be stood vertically, so doing so could cause problems.

Spoiler: You don't complain about this not being recommended right?

And it's not like MS even said that having your Xbox One vertical will cause problems, they said that they didn't design for that. Much like how I could probably use my Xbox 360 just fine with it standing on the hard-drive in that photo, but it wasn't designed to be like that.

 

[dessertmonkeyjk]

So I guess we'll miss the feature of the lights re-orienting themselves based on the fact that the console is either horizontal or vertical, huh? I recall the Xbox 360 did that.

Not that you'll miss it... maybe.

 

[DrOswald]

I really don't see this as a problem. I never put a console vertical, but I guess it could be a problem depending on your setup.

 

[Jmp_man]

Wait.....So if I buy this thing which is $500+ I can't put it vertically? If I spend $500+ on a thing, I want to put it any orientation I please!

Microsoft is going to get the stupidest company in America award this year.

Yeah, I mean. if I buy a car for 100 000 or more, I want to put it vertically too! Micrsoft is sure in the running for stupidest costumer award at least.

Well sure dude, if you buy a car it's yours to do with as you like. I mean flip it upside down for Pete's sake (just don't expect it to work). Same thing with consoles... if I spend $500 on a game console I get to use it how I want. Sadly, unlike cars, game consoles have a long running history of being able to run fine on their own when placed vertically. This will be really jarring to some gamers who need to save space with their systems but instead end up bricking them.

 

[Xan Krieger]

The problem here is microsoft are assuming people will buy an xbone.

As for the xbox 360 I always kept mine horizontal, same as all my other consoles. Won't fit vertically where I keep it. Besides I kept the xbox one horizontal and it never gave me any problems.

 

[hotdogoctopus]

Don't worry Microsoft. I won't. Because my Xbone will be safe in it's packaging at the warehouse where all the unsold units will go to die.

 

[Denamic]

Not exactly a deal-breaker in of itself, but unfortunately, they've already lost my purchase and this does the opposite of winning me back.