Monkey Paw thread

[Shadyside]

they are heavily moderated and everything is censored.

i wish for cancel culture to be gone.

 

[Kae]

Done! Everyone is mind-controlled now and don't have free will anymore, therefore cannot be outraged.

I wish for a giant jar full of cat nip.

 

[Palindromemordnilap]

It appears around you, trapping you forever inside a minty glass tomb

I wish for a biscuit

 

[Shadyside]

its frozen cold

i wish people on this site would grow thicker skin and have a sense of humor.

 

[Neuromancer]

Granted, but the forum is closed not long afterwards.

I wish for the forums to close.

 

[Kae]

Granted but you're now subscribed to @SilentPony 's personal blog and can't ever unsubscribe.

I wish to have the biggest mecha ever.

 

[Shadyside]

your father treats you badly and always orders you to get in the damn robot.

i wish to join the cartel

 

[Kae]

Granted! You'll be the perfect mule, a shame you'll have to die to get the drugs out since we planted them near your kidneys and you're not worth the cost of the surgeon.

I wish for the happiness of the next poster.

 

[PointlessKnowledge]

Granted, I immediately die from excessive happiness.

I wish for a can of Pepsi and a bag of chips.

 

[Martintox]

The can is a 20-year old can of Crystal Pepsi, and the bag contains wood chips soaked in that same Crystal Pepsi.

I wish Filthy Frank would come back to YouTube.

 

[Shadyside]

He gets canceled immediately

I wish my wish would not be granted

 

[Kae]

You are erased from existence, as such your wish can't come true since it would've never happened.

I wish I didn't have existential angst.

 

[Palindromemordnilap]

Its replaced tenfold by plain old ordinary angst

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard AND I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it?

 

[CM156]

I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with lettuce and mustard AND I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself and I don't want any other weird surprises, you got it?

Granted. The rye bread is a bit stale, but not stale enough for you to complain at the person who made it. Also, the mustard tasted a bit too strong for your liking.

I wish that Kanye wins the 2020 election for president.

 

[Shadyside]

Hes even more inept and insane than Donald.

I wish political parties were banned from american politics

 

[Dreiko]

Wao, these are some lame monkey paw curse effects. Not nearly hardcore enough x.x.

Hes even more inept and insane than Donald.

I wish political parties were banned from american politics

America is nuked out of existence.


I wish every girl in the world wore a miniskirt!

 

[Neuromancer]

They are legally obligated to kick you in the nuts every time you're in viewing distance.

I wish everyone died.

 

[Dreiko]

They are legally obligated to kick you in the nuts every time you're in viewing distance.

I wish everyone died.

You're supposed to make it worse, not hotter.

 

[PointlessKnowledge]

They die, then everyone raises as a zombie, exactly the same as they were when they were alive.

I wish for more forum games.

 

[Tireseas]

An entire subforum of forum games is created, each more unique than the other, but your internet permanently goes out with no means of accessing the site.

I wish I could eat anything and be rail slim and fit.