Monkey Paw thread

Kae

Just burn the whole thing.
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Granted but it's made of rotten mouldy cheese and you're in it.

I wish I was able to rest propperly.
 

Shadyside

Bad Hombre
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You sleep eternally.

I wish I was able to riot and loot when George Floyd died and not get caught.
 

CM156

Elite Member
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Done, but you only have the desire to make them do the things they were already going to do.

I wish that more of the plays of Aristophanes survived to the modern age.
 

Shadyside

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They are bad plays.

I wish political parties didn't exist and politicians actually contributed ideas and facts.
 

Shadyside

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You go insane as you discover the truth of reality.

I wish to have the keys to the universe.
 

CM156

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The keys to the universe are massive and they crush you like a bug.

I wish that all subsequent wishes, including this one, are granted in the spirit in which the wish was intended, rather than literal wording.
 

Dwarvenhobble

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The keys to the universe are massive and they crush you like a bug.

I wish that all subsequent wishes, including this one, are granted in the spirit in which the wish was intended, rather than literal wording.
All wishes now result in a the wish being granted but the person who makes it also drops into a dunk tank of ethanol due to the human body producing ethanol which is the alcohol in most spirits and making the wish in human form means the spirit they were made in and intended was human for a human to have it granted.

My wish is for The Italian Sci-Fi film Nirvana to finally be available on streaming services.
 

JoJo

and the Amazing Technicolour Dream Goat 🐐
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The film is made available but its dubbed by 4Kids.

I wish I had the superpower of flight.
 
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PointlessKnowledge

It Can Wait Til Morning
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You can only fly when you're in a hurricane.

I wish that everyone on the planet watched Plan 9 From Outer Space.
 

Kae

Just burn the whole thing.
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Granted, but all other movies and shows have been erased and everyone will only ever watch Plan 9 from Outer Space.

I wish to know the truth.
 

CM156

Elite Member
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The truth is that nobody can handle the truth.

I wish for everyone on earth to have access to firearms.
 

Kae

Just burn the whole thing.
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Granted but they're all revolvers and everyone is magically compelled to play Russian roulette every day.

I wish to go to space.
 

CM156

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Granted. You are launched into space with a spacesuit, but aimed right at the sun.

I wish for a buttload of gold.
 

Dwarvenhobble

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You and given the answer but it's incomprehensible without knowing the true question.

I wish the Scott Pilgrim vs the World game was widely available to play again
 

Kae

Just burn the whole thing.
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Granted it's the best wish ever, so good that words can't express and therefore no matter how hard you try you cannot make it.

I wish I was happy.