MovieBob: Intermission: Oh, Behave!

Callate

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Dec 5, 2008
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rayen020 said:
a couple of caveats from a parent.

I can't afford a babysitter because i just moved to town and don't know any of the neighborhood teenagers willing to do it well enough to trust them with my child for any conceivable length of time. Pro sitters cost like $100 and a movie ticket for Captain America costs a tenth of that. Plus it was like three weeks after the movie had come out and it wasn't a 3D showing anyway. There were like 3 other people in the theater besides me. Rule 6 in this case does not apply. Also went in the middle of the afternoon when the baby was napping.

Rule 7 does not apply when it is a kid-centric/targeted movie. Although still not a great idea to let them role around and play on the floor.

ALSO YOU FORGOT THE GOLDEN RULE OF THE THEATER; BE QUIET!
Yeah, my daughter, as an infant, slept through X-Men 2. Didn't disturb a soul. I agree that the moment a child of any age shows an inability to not disturb the other theater-goers their parents should show some courtesy and remove them from the theater until they can, but that's not the same as a hard-and-fast "no babies" rule.

Also, I can imagine a situation where it would be reasonable to need to receive a phone call in a theater, but for Odin's sake, keep the phone on vibrate, sit near the aisle, and leave the theater before you answer. If it's important, it can interrupt the movie for you, but it shouldn't for anyone else. If you have a phone conversation in a theater while the movie is playing, you should fully expect to find yourself doused in 52 ounces of Mr. Pibb Xtra.

So, yeah. Courtesy.
 
Aug 1, 2010
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Decent article, Bob. Pretty much just use common sense.

On a side note, Starship Troopers is getting a remake??? THAT'S FANTASTIC NEWS! AND it's being made by the guys that rescued X-Men?

I can't wait for this movie...
 

Otaku World Order

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Actually, I've had it that the ushers will try and herd you out of the theater during the end credits. I hate that because I always sit through the end credits.

wooty said:
Could not agree more with number 6, its right up there alongside babies on buses, babies on train, babies ON PLANES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, babies in supermarkets, babies in retaurants, (parants and) babies visiting my flat..........fuck it, I hate babies.
I'v had it withe these MOTHER^%$#ING BABIES ON THIS MOTHER^%$#ING PLANE!!!
 

Snooder

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May 12, 2008
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Personally, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and stick up for the guy texting. I know it's an unpopular stance to make, but it really needs to be said.

1. Honestly, the 'light pollution' isn't all that bad. Seriously, I have never been seriously bothered by the miniscule amount of light coming from a phone, even one sitting right beside me. Frankly, if your attention span is low enough that you absolutely cannot pay attention to the giant 20 foot (estimated) screen in front of you because of a few lumens coming from a 5" or smaller screen several feet away from you, that's a personal problem. Filter that crap out the way you filter out the exit signs.

2. Yes, it is sometimes important to be in communication with someone else during a movie. Emergencies happen. Or maybe you're just trying to find out where your friends are because you took separate cars to the movie and one of you was late.

3. Watching a movie, in a movie theater, is about the experience of watching a movie in public with other people. If you want an uninterrupted, distraction free environment, watch it at home. Seriously, complaining about other people in a theater is like complaining about drunken jerks at a sports stadium. Granted, movie theaters are a special case because of the strange release schedule that mandates that new movies not be available for home viewing, but waiting a couple months isn't all that difficult if it really bothers you THAT much. Again, most of the time, a little whispering or seat shuffling isn't all that much of a distraction.

Yes, there are things that truly bother everyone in a theater. A baby crying at the top of his/her lungs is a distraction that nobody can ignore, as is that jerk talking really loudly to his stockbroker. But some guy checking his email for a couple of seconds to make sure that the buzz he got wasn't a fire burning down his house or something really important isn't something to tar and feather anyone over.
 

The Bandit

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Snooder said:
Personally, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and stick up for the guy texting. I know it's an unpopular stance to make, but it really needs to be said.

1. Honestly, the 'light pollution' isn't all that bad. Seriously, I have never been seriously bothered by the miniscule amount of light coming from a phone, even one sitting right beside me. Frankly, if your attention span is low enough that you absolutely cannot pay attention to the giant 20 foot (estimated) screen in front of you because of a few lumens coming from a 5" or smaller screen several feet away from you, that's a personal problem. Filter that crap out the way you filter out the exit signs.

2. Yes, it is sometimes important to be in communication with someone else during a movie. Emergencies happen. Or maybe you're just trying to find out where your friends are because you took separate cars to the movie and one of you was late.

3. Watching a movie, in a movie theater, is about the experience of watching a movie in public with other people. If you want an uninterrupted, distraction free environment, watch it at home. Seriously, complaining about other people in a theater is like complaining about drunken jerks at a sports stadium. Granted, movie theaters are a special case because of the strange release schedule that mandates that new movies not be available for home viewing, but waiting a couple months isn't all that difficult if it really bothers you THAT much. Again, most of the time, a little whispering or seat shuffling isn't all that much of a distraction.

Yes, there are things that truly bother everyone in a theater. A baby crying at the top of his/her lungs is a distraction that nobody can ignore, as is that jerk talking really loudly to his stockbroker. But some guy checking his email for a couple of seconds to make sure that the buzz he got wasn't a fire burning down his house or something really important isn't something to tar and feather anyone over.
You're watching a movie. You're into it. Suddenly, a small point of light pops up in front of you somewhere. No matter how low the brightness setting is, this new light will make you divert your eyes away from the screen and toward this asshole's phone. I'm much more worried about your attention span if this isn't your natural reaction.

So, yes, it's distracting and annoying and there is absolutely no point to it. Unless you are actually a fire fighter,your first reaction to a text should not be "Oh, Jesus, WHAT IF MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE I BETTER CHECK IT!" It's almost always "Hey, what pages were we supposed to read for History."

The only people who defend this nonsense are the people who cannot go eight minutes without checking their facebook. Turn the damn phone off.
 

newguy77

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The Great JT said:
This list needs to be put on the wall next to the door to every movie theater ever.
I used to be an usher and people would ignore the fuck out of that. We had signs on the fucking door and those retards could not understand "Let the ushers clean the goddamn theaters before you sit down." Then all of a sudden it was our fault because they missed the three signs entering the theater. Also I agree with the facebook comment about how the theater is not your garbage can. Those are five feet away when you go out the door. You carried your overpriced crap in, carry it out. [/rant]
 

Moeez

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This is the only list you need. Everyone in UK knows the Wittertainment Code of Conduct (by Kermode and Mayo).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/5live/films/code_of_conduct.jpg
 

Xanthious

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Dec 25, 2008
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Snooder said:
Personally, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and stick up for the guy texting. I know it's an unpopular stance to make, but it really needs to be said.

1. Honestly, the 'light pollution' isn't all that bad. Seriously, I have never been seriously bothered by the miniscule amount of light coming from a phone, even one sitting right beside me. Frankly, if your attention span is low enough that you absolutely cannot pay attention to the giant 20 foot (estimated) screen in front of you because of a few lumens coming from a 5" or smaller screen several feet away from you, that's a personal problem. Filter that crap out the way you filter out the exit signs.

2. Yes, it is sometimes important to be in communication with someone else during a movie. Emergencies happen. Or maybe you're just trying to find out where your friends are because you took separate cars to the movie and one of you was late.

3. Watching a movie, in a movie theater, is about the experience of watching a movie in public with other people. If you want an uninterrupted, distraction free environment, watch it at home. Seriously, complaining about other people in a theater is like complaining about drunken jerks at a sports stadium. Granted, movie theaters are a special case because of the strange release schedule that mandates that new movies not be available for home viewing, but waiting a couple months isn't all that difficult if it really bothers you THAT much. Again, most of the time, a little whispering or seat shuffling isn't all that much of a distraction.

Yes, there are things that truly bother everyone in a theater. A baby crying at the top of his/her lungs is a distraction that nobody can ignore, as is that jerk talking really loudly to his stockbroker. But some guy checking his email for a couple of seconds to make sure that the buzz he got wasn't a fire burning down his house or something really important isn't something to tar and feather anyone over.
. . .and you can have the peace of mind of a fire free house and find out where your friends are right out in that big ole lobby where nobody is going to give a toss if you have your phone out or not. If you are checking your texts or emails inside a theater during a movie your an ass plain and simple and deserve to be removed from the theater immediately without a refund.

Personally if I get some asshat in front of me that wants to dick with his phone the first thing I do is make sure I'm not at The Alamo Drafthouse where he will be rightfully kicked out and given fuck all in the form of refund. But if I'm not I give a little tap on the back of the seat. Second time, a little harder tap. Third time I'm doing my damndest to kick the seat clear the fuck out from where it's screwed into the floor.

I feel this video from the Drafthouse is in order.

 

shiajun

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Jun 12, 2008
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Snooder said:
Personally, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and stick up for the guy texting. I know it's an unpopular stance to make, but it really needs to be said.

1. Honestly, the 'light pollution' isn't all that bad. Seriously, I have never been seriously bothered by the miniscule amount of light coming from a phone, even one sitting right beside me. Frankly, if your attention span is low enough that you absolutely cannot pay attention to the giant 20 foot (estimated) screen in front of you because of a few lumens coming from a 5" or smaller screen several feet away from you, that's a personal problem. Filter that crap out the way you filter out the exit signs.

2. Yes, it is sometimes important to be in communication with someone else during a movie. Emergencies happen. Or maybe you're just trying to find out where your friends are because you took separate cars to the movie and one of you was late.

3. Watching a movie, in a movie theater, is about the experience of watching a movie in public with other people. If you want an uninterrupted, distraction free environment, watch it at home. Seriously, complaining about other people in a theater is like complaining about drunken jerks at a sports stadium. Granted, movie theaters are a special case because of the strange release schedule that mandates that new movies not be available for home viewing, but waiting a couple months isn't all that difficult if it really bothers you THAT much. Again, most of the time, a little whispering or seat shuffling isn't all that much of a distraction.

Yes, there are things that truly bother everyone in a theater. A baby crying at the top of his/her lungs is a distraction that nobody can ignore, as is that jerk talking really loudly to his stockbroker. But some guy checking his email for a couple of seconds to make sure that the buzz he got wasn't a fire burning down his house or something really important isn't something to tar and feather anyone over.
Errr....I'm guessing that Bob is not referring to that potential buzzing text you get from someone. I believe he's adressing the people who can't bloody stop texting for two hours. The twitter and facebook addicts of today. The people who cross the street head bent looking into their cell phones that slam straight into you or get run over. Those poeple are the annoyance. You'd be able to filter them out like the exit signs if the position and intensity was constant, but it's not, it's waving around in the dark and the intensity changes everytime a finger passes over the screen. Your brain is hard-wired to pay attention to changing stimuli. These people are messing with your instincts and are distracting.

And I think Bob missed one very important rule that: You do not comment the movie as you pass by the people in line, especially if there's some suprise twist or whatever. That's just wrong.
 

YodaUnleashed

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Jun 11, 2010
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There is nothing like going to a cinema and watching a film on a big screen with full booming surround sound, but frankly, if you fully want to become immersed in a film the only way is to watch it alone at home with the best setup you can afford. Going to the cinema is a social event, not an artistic one (though the films themselves can be, undoubtably) so I don't see anything wrong with reacting vocally to the film postiively or negatively during the actual film itself along with your buddies. That doesn't mean you should start having a conversation or start being constantly loud and annoying but there's nothing wrong with spontaneous reactions in themselves (just their content usually).

I mean, even when I'm watching a film with my flat-mates at uni, I know I would more fully enjoy the film on my own as they often make (or attempt to make) humourous remarks and pass commentary on scenes and characters, and they're all at some point on their phones texting etc. But that's ok (at least the former part is), because I'm not expecting them all to watch the film in dead silence with stern faces and take it all extremely seriously and I wouldn't want them to. I watch films with others for the social experience, for the sarcastic remarks and quips and emotional reactions, good or bad. It's simply another way to watch the film, not the most immersive way but nonetheless still enjoyable when with the right people. Again, that is not to say one should start having a conversation with one another or on your phone, one just needs to know how much and when is appropriate, not an easy task I wager (and not one my flat-mates always succeed at) but then life is a balancing act anyway.

Nonetheless I personally believe that when you do something, whether it be read a book, watch a film, play a video game or carry out any sort of job, your mind should be wholly on the task at hand and your concentatration total. No half-hearted, half-paying-attention crap, especially when experiencing something artistic. It's annoying to see people paying more attention to their phones and social lives rather than the film they should be watching, not only because their bright lights are distracting but that watching a film should be an escape from that whole world, a chance for you to sit back and not worry about who's saying what about who or who's doing what and where, or some other such nonsense. Focus on the here and now, don't let your mind wander and give the film your almost full attention. This more strongly applies in a cinema setting, where others, most complete strangers, have paid for their seats and viewing and so you should respect that and not be distracting or disturbing.
 

Diegolomac

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Jan 28, 2009
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The timing for that column was so accurate for me. Let me tell you guys what happened this weekend: I went to see the Muppet movie with a friend on the last session (9 PM), and the place was pretty empty. But then, a group of about a dozen teenagers came in the room yelling and laughing. The instant they sat in their places I friggin knew they weren't going to shut up for the whole movie.

It was a nightmare. Seriously. They kept screaming and laughing and talking over the characters lines like a Mystery Science Theater 3000 without the funny. And every single time someone would call an employee to make them shut up, they would all be quiet or switch places, and make innocent faces and say "What? Me?! But I didn't do anything!!"

And it only became worse. When they realised that the movie employees weren't staying in the rom to make sure they wouldn't begin again, all hell broke loose. They got out of their chairs and began dancing the conga in front of the screen every time a musical number began (and it's a Muppet movie, there are a LOT of them). They started throwing rubber balls at the screen. I swear to God I'm not making this up.

And no matter how much we begged for an employee to stay there, they would just go tell the kids to shut up, the kids would make innocent faces, and the employee would leave.

I don't know why the hell these people find this kind of thing funny. What I do know is I had to control myself to not punch one of them in the throat.

And before you ask, I live in a really small town, this is the only theater in the entire city, I can't just start going to another one.
 

McMullen

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Xanthious said:
I feel this video from the Drafthouse is in order.

Do they use that as an advertisement? Because they should. If I were in Austin I'd go there.
 

Xanthious

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Dec 25, 2008
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McMullen said:
Xanthious said:
I feel this video from the Drafthouse is in order.

Do they use that as an advertisement? Because they should. If I were in Austin I'd go there.
They do. Go look up "Alamo Drafthouse Don't Talk" on Youtube they have a bunch of good "Don't Talk" trailers up there they play before movies.
 

wooty

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Aug 1, 2009
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Otaku World Order said:
Actually, I've had it that the ushers will try and herd you out of the theater during the end credits. I hate that because I always sit through the end credits.

wooty said:
Could not agree more with number 6, its right up there alongside babies on buses, babies on train, babies ON PLANES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, babies in supermarkets, babies in retaurants, (parants and) babies visiting my flat..........fuck it, I hate babies.
I'v had it withe these MOTHER^%$#ING BABIES ON THIS MOTHER^%$#ING PLANE!!!
Haha, snakes would of been preferable in my case. Try a 10 hour flight from Heathrow to Narita with a screaming baby. I tried watching the movie/listen to music, but to bring up another internet meme, "ZE HEADSETS, THEY DO NOTHING!"
 

Plinglebob

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Nov 11, 2008
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Thank you for reminding me why I try and go to the cinema straight after work (4pm, sometimes earlier if my boss is in a good mood). Thor had about 20 people, Coraline had 6 of us and I was the only person watching the Lion King.
 

Brandchan

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Oct 6, 2010
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Sometimes the talking during movies is the about the most inane crap. A local theater showed The Shinning just before Halloween. A large group of my friends and I went. It was great to see such a movie in the theater it made it a better experience. Except for the group of people behind us talking. These were not teenagers though, they had to be at least in their 30s. They would not shut the f*^K up. "Oh, he trowing a ball" No, s*(T Sherlock! Do you really need to say that out loud or do you really think none of your friends would understand he was throwing a ball? If so God help us all...

I couldn't take it anymore. At the best of my ability I politely asked them to be quite. What I really wanted to say was "Shut the F*^K up or I am going to punch you in the F*^king throat!" I really had to hold myself back. And while they were good for a while, during the end of the movie they kept laughing at the most inappropriate parts. Afterwards I wanted to ask "Whats wrong with you people?!"

I just wish people like that would read stuff like Bob's rant but they are people who will most likely ignore it.
 

MB202

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Sep 14, 2008
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Awesome read, but I don't like the mention of pornography. Yes, we get it, you like sex, you don't need to keep reminding us.
 

IceStar100

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I can't say much I got ticket to the rum direy and endded up making out with my girlfriend through most of it. give it was her me and two other people. One was texting and the other was in the very back row.

Plus you know the movie sucked.
 

ThreeKneeNick

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Yeah, kids can make for a very uncomfortable experience. Once i sat two seats away from a mother who read subtitles to her kid the entire movie. Every single line. Granted, it was during a Chronicles Of Narnia (Dawn treader) movie so it's for kids (and i'm a big kid, shut up) but is it for kids who can't read? It was very hard to balance being annoyed and having an awww moment because my parents never would have done something like that for me. And what was i going to do about it, have them thrown out? I just tried my best to focus on the movie. But she shouldn't have brought her kid there.