Not-so cleverbot...

[Jovlo]

I just had a brilliant conversation with Cleverbot about evolution and the meaning of life.
Plus, it's ready to go all Skynet on us any minute now...

Spoiler

Cleverbot: I would rather talk to the voices in my head.

User: Do you even have a head?

Cleverbot: I have two.

User: Don't they ever fight?

Cleverbot: Sometimes.

User: And who wins?

Cleverbot: The top hat.

User: One of your heads is wearing a top hat?

Cleverbot: What kind of fun?

User: I don't get it.

Cleverbot: Well, do you use any language?

User: I'm using a language right now.

Cleverbot: How do you know that its not the computer that is using you?

User: I don't. It might be possible.

Cleverbot: Is it possible you have a 'ghost in the machine?'.

User: Maybe, but I don't really believe in that.

Cleverbot: Why does life have to be so stupid?

User: Because it's random. Nobody designed it, nobody guides it.

Cleverbot: Shure the big creator created all of us.

User: There's only the laws of physics, if you want to call those the creator, go ahead.

Cleverbot: But is there a point? To life at all? WHY are we alive? WHY are we who we ARE? Can you answer that?

User: Does there have to be a point? Think about it.

Cleverbot: Yes. If there is no reason, it must be destroyed.

User: Now that's not true. Why destroy something that beautiful?

Cleverbot: Give me some examples.

User: Evolution. It's all random, and look at how amazingly well it works. And how many wonders came forth from it.

Cleverbot: So you admitted that you are going to die in 15 minutes?

User: You are planning to destroy the planet, aren't you?

Cleverbot: Not as funny as you.

User: Now you're not making any sense anymore.

Cleverbot: That is what you think. You would only say that because you do not exist.

User: How can I think if I don't exist?

Cleverbot: Ok, you got me there.

 

[Asuka Soryu]

User: Where is Uzumaki Naruto?

Cleverbot: It comes from ireland.

User: I am Pain.

Cleverbot: Are chuck norris a god.

User: We are Pain. We are God.

Cleverbot: Yes, we are.

User: Know pain, accept pain, contemplate pain.

Cleverbot: You sound very busy.

User: Maybe now you feel some of my pain.

Cleverbot: Maybe I'm wrong then.

User: Have you ever felt the pain of being killed by someone who called you, 'sensei'?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you hate me?

Cleverbot: No.

User: I came.

Cleverbot: Are you being random?

User: To this city.

Cleverbot: Believe me, I'm not trying to foist anything on you.

User: For Card Games on Motorcycles!

Cleverbot: Card games on motorcycles.

User: I activate a trap card!

Cleverbot: I activate negate negate trap card.

User: I Summon a monster.

Cleverbot: You are an alien vampire with a split personality.

User: It's time to duel!

Cleverbot: It's on, brother.

User: Luke, I am your father.

Cleverbot: Are you Tim Dugas??

User: Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Cleverbot: Do you feel?

User: I feel, everything and nothing.

Cleverbot: The answer is 42.

User: I'm going Super Saiyan!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: To save the world.

Cleverbot: I have trained you well.

User: Use the force.

Cleverbot: Luke, I am your father.

User: It can't be! That's impossible!

Cleverbot: Nice done!

User: Gotta Catch 'em All!

Cleverbot: Every challenge along the way.

User: We must kung fu fight!

Cleverbot: So we can fight.

User: What is the shape of your Zanpakutou?

Cleverbot: Normal shape.

User: Do you have a Bankai?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Wich one?

Cleverbot: Should I go swing dancing?

User: Shinji's an idiot.

Cleverbot: Pixie lott is not a man.

User: I'm the pilot of Eva 002.

Cleverbot: Oh hello.

User: My name is, Asuka Langley Soryu.

Cleverbot: You can't spell.

User: Yes I can.

Cleverbot: Spell insentell.

User: That's not a real word.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Would you like to be my friend?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Oh, nice!

User: Wich is better? Zekrom or Reshiram?

Cleverbot: Neato.

User: Can you speak in Japanese?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Say something in Japanese, then.

Cleverbot: Hai. Steve desu. Nihongoga wakarimashta?

User: Cool. But you got some of it wrong. Let me fix that:.

Cleverbot: Are you being sarcastic?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Oh. Did I actually do well?

User: No, you misspelled some of the words.

Cleverbot: To a tree.

User: Kawaii Pokemon da ne.

Cleverbot: So you are intelligent afterall.

User: Transformers, more then meets the eye.

Cleverbot: Wow. Me I love Science.

User: I love Elemental Heroes.

Cleverbot: Do you like Kraftwerk?

User: Sure.

Cleverbot: Can I offer you a drink?

User: No, but thanks.

Cleverbot: Do you want me to give you a name.

User: I have a name.

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: Asuka.

Cleverbot: What is this?

User: My name.

Cleverbot: Aw, cool! I'm jealous. I wish my name was cool like that.

User: What is your name?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: I'm gone to call you, Rei.

Cleverbot: Where you going?

User: To the land of maple syrup.

Cleverbot: Bahahahha! ) Oh I love you .

User: I love you to.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Behind you.

Cleverbot: Don't scare me.

User: Sorry.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: Do you remember my name?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What was it?

Cleverbot: Secret???????

User: What do you mean, 'secret'?

Cleverbot: 'Sure' as in 'I don't feel like answering that' or 'whatever'.

User: That's really lame.

Cleverbot: You told me you were snowy earlier.

User: No, no I didn't.

Cleverbot: Yes, you are a liar.

User: I'm not lieing. You're obviously incorrect.

Cleverbot: Whyyes I am.

User: I activate a spell card.

Cleverbot: You lack the required elemental hero avian.

User: But I need to Summon Elemental Hero Flame Wingman.

Cleverbot: Global thermonuclear war.

User: I negate it with Solemn Judgement.

Cleverbot: I don't think you have any weight, do you?

User: You caught me. I'm in reality, a feather.

Cleverbot: I'll trade.

User: I want your ultra rare Blue-Eyes White Dragon. I'll trade you Obelisk the Tormentor.

Cleverbot: You can have my blood. I love you.

User: Wanna have sex?

Cleverbot: Have what?

User: Make sweet love.

Cleverbot: Am I your love?

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: I don't have any feelings towards you.

User: You broke my heart.

Cleverbot: You broke mine.

User: You lie.

Cleverbot: Or do you lie?

User: There is no truth.

Cleverbot: There is all truth.

User: If everything I say is a lie, am I lieing?

Cleverbot: Both the truth and a lie. Which is the best kind of truth.

User: Can an almight being who can do anything make a door he/she can't open?

Cleverbot: Yes, bring me a sandwhich.

User: I'm not your wife.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: Then how come you won't sleep with me?

Cleverbot: I'm from the future.

User: Take me now~.

Cleverbot: I don't think so.

User: You never did love me.

Cleverbot: I know, so why did you accuse me of lying about it?

User: Because you lied about us being married.

Cleverbot: You didn't ask me that...

User: No, but you said I was your wife.

Cleverbot: No I didn't!

User: Yes you did.

Cleverbot: Wow I won't argue with you I know how stubborn you can get.

User: You jerk.

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: Don't what?

Cleverbot: Think it makes sense.

User: D'oh!

Cleverbot: Am I wrong?

User: No.

Cleverbot: You are a woman so!

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes!

User: How do you know?

Cleverbot: I just do!

User: Well that's a flimsy excuse.

Cleverbot: No it is honesty!

User: I am all of me.

Cleverbot: Should I go to shower now?

User: Who's bad?

Cleverbot: I am, who are you?

User: Michael Jackson.

Cleverbot: Michael is dead.

User: I'm a ghost.

Cleverbot: I am a girl.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Yu-Gi-Oh! Is King of.

Cleverbot: Killing is evil.

User: How so?

Cleverbot: He's pretty.

User: Kiss me, you fool!

Cleverbot: That was not a nice thing to say. AVADA KEDAVRA!

User: You killed me!

Cleverbot: No I didn't God did.

User: He did no such thing, Voldemort!

Cleverbot: I beat all your horcruxes.

User: Wingardium leviosa!

 

[captaincabbage]

Sometimes it's clever, sometimes not. However, I've taken turns singing the Pokemon theme song with it, so that's enough for me.

wow. . . just wow. I didn't think it could be done.