Not wanting to go to Prom

[lunavixen]

At my year 10 formal, i ended up spending most of it either being pestered by the photographer to get into photos with people i hated, or, nursing a glass of coke in the corner. At my year 12 one it wasn't as bad, got to talk to my favourite teachers and the few people at my high school i could still tolerate for more than 5 minutes at a time. I went alone both times and don't regret it.

So my advice, go if you want but don't over stress about it if you don't.

 

[IronMit]

Went to mine at the end of 6th form (so when we were 18).

It's UK so it was so overhyped (the director of 6th form was telling us it was to prepare us for the real world- such a load of bull)

It was sooo not worth it. The venue was lame, the music was ok, the food was shite. The classmates made it bearable. We had rented out rooms in a nearby hotel so we had an after party which was decent. But all in all it was not worth the total accumulated cost of £200.

But if you don't go on the day you are going to feel lame. lol

 

[Mads Jurgensen]

Ask your self "Is these people worth it?" Now here in Denmark we don't got proms, but if we had I wouldn't have attended mine. I only liked two of the people I went to school with, and the girls I usually dated didn't go to my school, so if this hypotheticly prom did exsist, I wouldn't have gotten laid either.

But if there is a chance to get laid, then do it... It's always worth going the distance for the pootang.

 

[piinyouri]

I went.
Didn't want to, had no intention, but then I decided to since everyoe was going on about "It's the only one you'll have" and "C'mon, do something for a change!"

It was dull.
And awkward.
I danced the most awkward dance ever to Sweet Home Alabama, then my half drunk mother came and picked me up.

 

[DalekJaas]

You'll regret not going, it is better to go and have a an average night then to think about what could have been. Then you'll sit there and convince yourself that not going was the best thing for you even though you let your fear get the best of you.

This is not a good website to ask this on, all most people will do here is re-affirm your negative thoughts because they would most likely not go either.

Opportunities always look better when you have missed them, so make the most of it.

 

[Pickles]

I'd go just because its something that doesn't come up everyday, so on the off chance you enjoy it you'll probably be really glad you went.
But if you're entirely sure you won't have fun, no harm in giving it a miss. I know my equivalent (Im in Australia, not such a big deal over here) wasn't amazing.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I didn't go to either my year 11 or year 13 leavers balls... I was underage to drink at the time, and really had no interest in going!

Then I joined the RAF, and now I go to as many balls and functions as I can! I love my tailored drinking suit (see below) and I really enjoy formal functions in the forces... There is endless cheap drink, everyone is there to have a good time, there is no trouble, if you go overboard you are in good hands... and the best bit? It's all in the mess! I don't even have to go outside to go back to my room!

My drinking suit (Mess kit). Imagine this, but the jacket is undone, and there is a pocket watch chain on the waistcoat! Why would you NOT want to wear it?

 

[Legion]

I went to mine and felt pretty indifferent afterwards. It wasn't terrible, but I can't say it was anything special. The only noticeable things were the staff not getting enough for food for even half of the people attending, the DJ playing "Crazy Frog" causing most people to leave the dance floor and an idiot pulling the fire alarm about ten minutes before it ended.

I didn't go to the one at 6th Form, and apparently didn't miss anything.

If you are dead set against it, I can't see going for the sake of it suddenly changing your mind, but if you have a close group of friends then it'll be at least bearable. I wouldn't go just to please others though.

British ones also seem to be incredibly half arsed compared to American ones as well.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

If you don't want to go, don't.
I didn't, I'm not so big on these popular outings either. However, I do like dressing sharply if I have the opportunity. Funny thing, me and a few friends didn't go to prom, we went to a drive-in movie. While we were there, there's a playground on the site, we took a picture of me in a little kids swing and sent it to our friends who *did* go to prom. Turns out that picture kind of made it's way around prom, people came back to us talking about how funny it was. We were the life of our high school prom and we didn't even go.
I'd tell you not to get pressured but hey, we're all different, some people just get pressured, they can't help it. I'm not saying you're one of them, I'm just saying that *if* you are, don't feel bad, who knows, you might enjoy it more than you thought.
Luckily, I'm not one to get pressured into doing things, high school dances were one of them. And believe me, my friends really wanted me to go. I remember one of my favorite back-and-forth's over it with one of my friends went something like this:

Me: "Guys, I just don't want to go. It's not like a have a date anyway."

Friend: "You might find one there. Me and [other friend] walked into [some high school dance with a name I can't remember] single and walked out with dates."

Me: "Really? My dad didn't go to prom and he had a wife and two kids."

Anyway.

You'll regret not going, it is better to go and have a an average night then to think about what could have been. Then you'll sit there and convince yourself that not going was the best thing for you even though you let your fear get the best of you.

This is not a good website to ask this on, all most people will do here is re-affirm your negative thoughts because they would most likely not go either.

Opportunities always look better when you have missed them, so make the most of it.

That's a really good point.
Personally, I have never once looked back on an event that skipped and thought about what it might have been. I'm not trying to sound cool, I'm just not that kind of guy.
But, Ackichi, if you're a person who regrets missed opportunities, definitely take this advice. If you have a should have-could have-would have attitude, I imagine it will drive you mad if you miss it.

 

[CriticalMiss]

My school had two 'prom' type things, one like your upcoming event and a second at the end of year 11. I went to the first and regretted it, we had to pay £10 for a ticket and certainly didn't get value for money. It was held in our school hall, the 'disco' was run by a student who did it for free, the refreshments consisted of warm fanta/coke/sprite, sweets you can get in a newsagents and nachos with cheese. I ended up sitting outside and playing cards with my friends instead, then realised we could just leave early and went for a pizza. It was actually kind of fun coming in to school the next day and seeing all of the people with hangovers (who shouldn't have even been drinking at that age) and essentially trolling them by speaking really loudly at them.

Needless to say I didn't bother with the second prom, which was going to be £30+ held out of town in a hotel convention room and most of my friends weren't going to be there for various reasons. I used the money to buy some takeaway, get a game and spent the evening having fun instead.

The moral here being that you can have more fun doing your own thing. Don't feel peer pressured in to doing it and if anyone tries to force you or make fun of you tell them to bugger off, it's your life and if you don't want to waste an evening doing something you aren't interested in then you don't have to. Maybe get some of your friends to do something else together instead, then your parents/brother can't really complain.

 

[Bellvedere]

I like dressing up so I was kinda excited for that bit. I found the actual event to be a bore though.

Lousy food and dancing (I don't like dancing).

In my opinion you're not really missing out by not going, however it might be worth considering whether getting crap from your family is going to be more tedious than giving up one evening (which will be spent with your friends even if not in the most exciting fashion).

Alternatively you can make up other plans for prom night so your folks can't accuse you of being a shut in and then have them "fall through" if you don't actually want to do anything. I guess it depends on what they'll believe and whether it's the fact you're not going to prom or the fact that you're going to sit at your computer all night that bothers them.

 

[DoctorObviously]

I didn't go to mine and I'm pretty happy I didn't, I know I would have been bored out of my skull and a downer to everyone else so I didn't go. I am much happier just hanging out with a few of the guys and relaxing, fuck social conventions do what you want to do

Pretty much this. I didn't go to prom either. Ask yourself if you really, really want to go and do what you feel most comfortable with. You don't need other people to tell you how you should feel. Don't like going? Then don't go. Put on your headset, make a nice cup of coffee, a couple of cookies and play the game of your choosing.

 

[pierre666lol]

Well from my experience, it really depends who is going, so long as you have a couple of friends there it can be a pretty nice evening - just try to ignore the crap music though.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

You got a girlfriend or someone you fancy? Take the risk and ask them to go. It's a good opportunity to finally make that step with a person you like.

Otherwise, don't worry about it. I didn't go to either of my Proms, and I haven't once regretted it. I wasn't even really an outcast at my school either. I didn't have a date nor anyone to ask (which is really the only reason you should go), so I just decided to get high in a park with a few friends, which ended up being pretty fun

Plus, School dances always somehow ended with me randomly getting yelled at by a girl I'd previously dated (seriously, ever single fucking dance).

 

[Shoggoth2588]

I didn't really want to go to mine but as a close friend has said to me about my high school life, My balls were in my girlfriend's purse. I didn't really have a good time and would have rather not gone. Here's an idea though, a compromise: Embrace your inner-geek by dressing up in your nerdiest and making a stop at the prom with your circle of friends. Once you've been there long enough for people to say you were there...go out and do anything else.

If that's not possible than...well, sorry I tried. If you don't want to go, don't go.

 

[Strazdas]

I went to mine even though i dont like such gatherings. the reason i went was friends. and save for certain people trying to get me to drink alcohol for 3 hours i had good time just chatting with folks. In retrospect, it wasnt worth it.
however it is YOUR CHOICE and if you dont want to go, then dont.

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

So don't go then. I didn't go to mine. Couldn't be fucked, knew I had no chance of getting a date, didn't have many friends in my year and wasn't part of any of the social groups, so I decided I simply wouldn't bother. Didn't regret anything.

Didn't go to schoolies week either. That's just the kind of surly, unsociable bastard I am.

 

[Gali]

snip

It's a shame that your family doesn't tolerate your interest in gaming. Maybe there is a way for you to talk into them that "being a loser" because of gaming (which we all know isn't true) is your problem, not theirs? One evening with a few people you like, doing activities you seem to hate, doesn't make you a "more social" person obviously.
The prom is not the most important thing in the world, but making your own decisions, even if your family doens't approve, is.
But that's easy to say for me, my family is cool with me doing what I like to do - I was never in the situation you are in. If the consequences are really too much for you at the moment, and there is no way to talk to them, I'd say go. It's just one crappy evening.

Personally, I'm in a similar situation. I'm also about to finish school and getting my ticket to go to an university. In my country (Germany) we also have the tradition to celebrate that through prom and other stuff. Problem for me is, I do not like most of my classmates (they bully me and my friends 'cause partying > gaming), and I have to pay quite a lot for it. It's not worth the time and money for me. Concerning the prom, I'm with you: I don't like parties and hate dresses. Like I said, my family is cool with me not going. My friends are a bit irritated by it, but they are used to me doing things "out of the norm" (read: making own decisions). The rest of my form is pissed because of that, since they desperately need money to organize the prom. Well, let them be angry. I won't see any of them again.