Pick Your "Worthless" Super Power!

[FalloutJack]

Just a random question/thought, but what "Worthless" super power would you like to have?

Now, to define "worthless", I mean a super power that doesn't necessarily make you super. More of a novelty power, just something that would be fun to do. For further clarification, a real super power is stuff like flying, super strength, super speed, invisibility, etc. Things that could help you perform/prevent crimes, for instance.

As an example, I'll give you mine...which is pretty cliche, I know, but I REALLY wanted to do it to someone today. That is, quite simply, the ability to reach into a computer screen, through the internet, and out of someone else's computer screen to slap them in the mouth and flip them the bird. That's all I want...god I think that would be incredibly satisfying.

So yeah, since I took the easy and obvious one, it's up to you to come up with some not-so-super super powers! As another example, when I asked a friend of mine this, he he'd like the ability to have Casey Hudson get kicked in the balls (or at least feel like he's been kicked in the balls) every time my friend clicked his tongue. :3

Whoa whoa, HEY!! No stealing my E-Fist Project!

OT: Okay, I wish to be luckier than ev...no wait, I've got that one. Okay, then I need more imagination and common sense than norm...oh shit, that's taken care of too. Okay, okay, okay. Something I don't have already. Then I wish to have an auto-translation brain because I'm terrible at foreign languages.

 

[Jfswift]

The ability to tie shoelaces with my mind.

Considering the laces on my boots, this would be REALLY USEFUL.

I would be your nemesis then. I think it'd be funny to un tie them.

 

[PrototypeC]

I would love to be able to project what I can imagine into people's heads. It's the reason I want to become an artist, but the process is slow-going and so many amazing images and fight scenes and locations are completely un-experiencable in the meantime.

Either that, or for shits and giggles... it would be funny if I suddenly popped up in the heads of all my acquaintances, while they are masturbating. Male, female, gay, straight, it doesn't matter, they would be interrupted by my face. The trolling would be stupendous, at least until the secret got out and I'd be circle-beaten to death by all of them at once.

 

[Tiger Sora]

Total control over all types of air conditioners!!!

I will plunge the world into a permanent state of swamp-ass! Provided it's the right time of year for it to be hot enough. I don't envy those who live in the tropics.

Muhahaha!

 

[Alpha Maeko]

The super ability to drink infinite amounts of Kool Aid.

 

[Iteasecats]

The ability to turn salmon into trout but not back again.

 

[J3bba]

My useless super power of choice would be to act out the entirety of the Starwars saga, with accents, music and fight scenes.

Either that or when cycling being able to predict where I will be at the end of a song.

 

[Truniron]

My usless super power would either be to magicly repair plasitc bags with my foot.

 

[Suijen]

X-ray vision, or the ability to see through clothing. I can use it to...see through...and see if terrorists are carrying bombs. Yeah, that's it.

 

[Vegetunks9000]

Turning Tennis Rackets in to Squirrels. Can't find a logical solution

 

[Overhang]

That's easy, I would have the ability to spin things by thought. I could stir the coffee, adjust the TV, spin in my chair and make people about to punch me spin around so I could run away, screaming all the way.

 

[Rastien]

I can summon a Bee.

Just the one, from my hand.

Immense effort required but then poof a Bee.

Can't do this again for a few days.

 

[dontlooknow]

My power would be
to speak only in haikus
and fill leftover

syllables with 'cake';
'cake' is useful because
it is nice and is

monosyllabic:
cake cake cake, cake cake cake cake;
cake cake cake cake; see?

 

[IamQ]

The power to never get a snottty nose. I've had a snotty nose for 1.5 years now. It would be nice to wake up and not have to rush to the bathroom for some paper to dry it with.

 

[conmag9]

I was going to say the ability to focus, but that's actually useful to me.

Oh! How about the ability to make anything taste like whatever I want?

 

[Red Oni]

The ability to generate my own Wi-Fi

 

[D-Class 198482]

The ability to stop a game from crashing and lagging.
No real life-saving uses, but it sure will help with my computer.

 

[Red Oni]

I can summon a Bee.

Just the one, from my hand.

Immense effort required but then poof a Bee.

Can't do this again for a few days.

Bees... My God
-Batman

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

The ability to fly. An awesome power, but you would get really fat.

 

[Nothing Identifiable]

I want to be able too pull stuff out of a picture- like I could pull a chocolate bar out of an advert of a chocolate bar.
Yes I god that from Charlie and the Chocolate factory. Shutup.