Play Satan's Retrievers
- Thread starter Steve Butts
- Start date
So boring...fitting for a game that is remotely related to Game Dogs. Bad show, bad game.
NEEDS A LONGER MUSIC CLIP!
NEEDS A LONGER MUSIC CLIP!
Man, I guess I was on the right wavelength. I was thinking, "You have to be a bad enough dog to be sent to hell?! Then my spree's gotta end with 666 dudes. When I have that many, I'll let myself die."
And then... well! Would've been nice if the Pause button actually worked correctly, so I didn't have to keep playing until my fingers were sore.
And then... well! Would've been nice if the Pause button actually worked correctly, so I didn't have to keep playing until my fingers were sore.
Fuck me that game was boring. I should have known it would suck because anything affilated in any way to that lazily written, badly acted, boring, unfunny, brain cell killingly awful fucking series Game Dogs sucks, but I played it anyway because I give everything a chance to surprise me. Fuck that was a dumb move. I know this is just a flash game but shit I've played so many other better flash games. Seriously it's not even funny how many flash games I can list made by less people with less money for free. Sure this was free as well but that doesn't give it an excuse to be so absurdly fucking awful. If I was so bored after killing just 50 dogs then why would I push to 666 just to get to hell, which I assume is the main point of the game. I'm ashamed I even bothered to kill 200 before quitting because I was so bored. If the game doesn't at least peak my interest at the beginning and is just filler before it gets good then it's NOT a good game. Oh and having to kill 666 dogs to go to hell isn't ironicly funny, it's just fucking stupid, and the same goes for that god damn music, and the lazy arse graphics, the bad dudes reference was okay but that was literally it. When the only thing that's not bad (not good either by the way) about your game is a reference. Then you know you're in the dog house.
God damn you escapist.
545 dudes killed. bored as shit. for the first time, I move the mouse, accidentally click off screen, and die. No cursor in game, so I can't tell where the mouse is... I don't know if I can do all that grinding again. do you get the badge right away? I am asking because the game screen is a bit too far to the right, and I can't tell how many dudes I have killed without dieing
545 dudes killed. bored as shit. for the first time, I move the mouse, accidentally click off screen, and die. No cursor in game, so I can't tell where the mouse is... I don't know if I can do all that grinding again. do you get the badge right away? I am asking because the game screen is a bit too far to the right, and I can't tell how many dudes I have killed without dieing
I see what you did thereProtoChimp said:
Sooo.... Exactly when do I get my badge? I got to the end screen that said "badge unlocked!", no click-through link to confirm, so I checked my profile and nothing changed.
That was two hours ago.
That was two hours ago.
I was rather excited to pick this game up. The promotions were pretty good plus they even had that mini-series going through the production. The trailer showed promise and honestly I was at the store, 12 midnight to pick this puppy (no pun intended) up. When I got home put it into my computer the installer decided to literally make the disk turn into pure fire. My computer was literally breathing fire. It was amazing. Truly what I would expect from a game about saving hell from freezing over. Well instalation went without too many hitches. It did delete my os but I am still able to play the game so I didnt really care.
Well onto the actual meat of the game. The story is pretty straightforward you have to kill enough people to get on satans good side and then protect hell from freezing over or something. Honestly who cares about story when you have two of the greatest guns I have ever seen. You have a pistol and a minigun! The pistol is for sniping guys from a afar while the minigun is pretty much for doing everything else. I was a little dissapointed that the pistol had an awfully annoying loading animation where the satan enhanced minigun was just magically filled with bullets by satan himself.
The graphics were top of the line it was as if I was living in this world. I got so sucked into this game just because of how amazing the city looked that I fell off my chair had a triple seizure and even got put into a medical journal somewhere for literally losing my legs and growing goat legs. My head also is starting to grow horns and I really wish they would break the skin already its stating to hurt.
The AI in this game is also top of the line. There were at least 200 different boss battles all of them perfectly executed. The first boss which you fight the first second into the game is a team of swat members and watching them become bullet riddled corpses while their shields splinter into a million pieces and each piece reflecting the sun giving little flashes of light to the dingy blood soaked streets.
Overall I would give this game 10 out of 10 paws. Its truly a must buy and I havnt played anything this amazing ever. It was absolutely fantastic. BUY THIS GAME NOW!!
Well onto the actual meat of the game. The story is pretty straightforward you have to kill enough people to get on satans good side and then protect hell from freezing over or something. Honestly who cares about story when you have two of the greatest guns I have ever seen. You have a pistol and a minigun! The pistol is for sniping guys from a afar while the minigun is pretty much for doing everything else. I was a little dissapointed that the pistol had an awfully annoying loading animation where the satan enhanced minigun was just magically filled with bullets by satan himself.
The graphics were top of the line it was as if I was living in this world. I got so sucked into this game just because of how amazing the city looked that I fell off my chair had a triple seizure and even got put into a medical journal somewhere for literally losing my legs and growing goat legs. My head also is starting to grow horns and I really wish they would break the skin already its stating to hurt.
The AI in this game is also top of the line. There were at least 200 different boss battles all of them perfectly executed. The first boss which you fight the first second into the game is a team of swat members and watching them become bullet riddled corpses while their shields splinter into a million pieces and each piece reflecting the sun giving little flashes of light to the dingy blood soaked streets.
Overall I would give this game 10 out of 10 paws. Its truly a must buy and I havnt played anything this amazing ever. It was absolutely fantastic. BUY THIS GAME NOW!!
Woaah, so THAT'S what the Duke Nukem Forever team were working on all these years - nice reskin to fit the canine market, glad you could salvage something from it.
Also, calling it - every bad review that is written here will be quoted in the Game Dogs series to castigate the dogs for the poor quality of the game.
Also, calling it - every bad review that is written here will be quoted in the Game Dogs series to castigate the dogs for the poor quality of the game.
