Poll: How Happy Are You Being Single?
- Thread starter Jacco
- Start date
Happy being single? Not really but neither am I particularly cut-up about it. Been in a couple of relationships, one of which the girl was pretty much perfect for me from my point of view but that ended very badly bout 6-7 months ago. Right now, I'm pretty ok with being single.
That said, if I found someone, I'd like to be in a relationship again, just to have someone there and someone I could be there for. I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic so I like the idea of just cuddling up on the couch with them, watching a film or something. I'm just not sure I have the time right now with the amount of work I've got to do for Uni (physics degree = ton of work ¬_¬ ) and I'm looking at getting a job alongside it as well.
And there's the fact that while I'm great at talking with girls and being friends with them, I never have the self-confidence to take it any further because most of the time I just tend to not believe that they like me in that way.
That said, if I found someone, I'd like to be in a relationship again, just to have someone there and someone I could be there for. I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic so I like the idea of just cuddling up on the couch with them, watching a film or something. I'm just not sure I have the time right now with the amount of work I've got to do for Uni (physics degree = ton of work ¬_¬ ) and I'm looking at getting a job alongside it as well.
And there's the fact that while I'm great at talking with girls and being friends with them, I never have the self-confidence to take it any further because most of the time I just tend to not believe that they like me in that way.
Content for now. I want to date, love and get married, but AFTER I've landed on my feet. Being expelled from University has caused issues that a relationship would probably exacerbate...
Like Antitonic I'm also asexual. Sexual based relationships (or relationships that will eventually lead to something sexual) doesn't trigger anything in my head, so I would have no business in one. Perfectly content being single. No drama, so splurging on several hundred dollar knick-nacks just to keep the other bloke around and him doing the same with me, and of course more room for my pets. Yep.
Happy probably isnt the word I would use, I'd say I'm more content not having a girlfriend, I like my dirty dancing and scoring with strangers. Pro's and cons to either really, having a girlfriend means you can go out to town and not have to worry about picking somebody up for the end of the night if thats what your into, however I've heard friends of mine complain about having girlfriends as they cant score with random girls out in town.
The worst thing about it though is that you can spend your entire night trying to bring someone back to your house etc and it could all just be a waste of time.... which makes me die a little inside all that wasted effort
The worst thing about it though is that you can spend your entire night trying to bring someone back to your house etc and it could all just be a waste of time.... which makes me die a little inside all that wasted effort
Eh - Im generally a happy person. Im content to not be in a relationship, but I think Id rather be in one. But now isn't really a good time either, Im budgeting a crazy amount so I have dont have a lot of cash to throw around and dont have a lot of free time due to uni. So whatever girl wants to be with me would need to be kinda desperate to be with me! =P
I guess I'd like one but I'm pretty happy right now. Probably because right now I'm in that weird part of high school life where no one really has a real girlfriend because they like people, it's like an achievement where if you don't have one you suck instead of anything at all to do with feelings. Honestly I'm not up to participating in that.
I've been single for... well frankly forever. I'd like to say I'm content at the moment - I've got plenty of friends and my college career is proceeding along nicely enough. But I can't help feeling this nagging feeling that I need to couple up with someone. By all accounts I should be happy but this pressure to pair off is always there.
Generally content. I'd like to find my "soul mate", but I don't think forcing it will really do much of anything to move that process along. So, I'll just enjoy being single until it happens. And by that I mean focusing completely on my own interests and priorities... not an endless stream of one night stands.
So hard for me to say, I've been struggling with this lately actually.
You see, I used to be really bothered that I was single, even if it was mostly due to me not having the time or desire to find a woman, I still felt lacking in some way whenever I was single. That is until I met my last ex. She was beautiful, brilliant, and had pretty much everything I was looking for and we clicked like mad. She had to go off to college and ended up breaking it off with me right before fucking some random guy, and while this hurts, I can understand it, distance kills.
For the past year or so I've just been broken hearted over her, and while I'd flirt and get offered many chances with women I'd always end up letting my pursuit of them waver and end up being alone by this odd subconscious personal choice, I think out of fear of being hurt again.
Not too long ago that ex had her new boyfriend attempted to troll me on Facebook, I turned it around on them by just being my usual charming self, which is how I got her to confess she sent him to do it... For some odd reason this gave me a sort of closure.. A sort of "She still wants me" feeling. We ended it insulting each other and won't be speaking for some time but something about the encounter makes me sure that she'll be back at some point.
So now, I still have a broken heart, but it doesn't hurt any more, and I'm not scared any more, I just... Don't care about dating. I have so much other shit going on, from school to getting deeper in the music scene, that shit just doesn't seem important to me, and add to it that I haven't met any woman yet that compares to my ex or lights that fire under me that makes me need to pursue them.
So... I'm content being single, but I'm concerned because I used to care so much. I believe in love, and love being in love, but I just don't need it anymore. My friends tell me this is a good thing, and I suppose I do agree, but it does make me slightly concerned that since I'm out of that mood right now, in what should be my dating prime (early mid to late 20's, I'm 24 now to be specific), that I may end up alone, which isn't something I want, I do want a good partner.
Oh well, whatever, I'm sure I'll meet plenty of intelligent and beautiful women when I start touring. Maybe then I can meet someone who really sparks that fire back up in me.
Edit: And to all the people I'm seeing on here who have never dated. If you even mildly want to, you should get out there. I'm here to tell you right now that it IS better to have loved and lost, and there is someone out there for you. If you're not into clubbing or other typical social activities like that then you should just look at what you like doing, if it's social maybe try doing whatever that is in a social setting/new social setting/bigger social setting: multiplayer gaming at LAN events, or other crowd based events, if you like comics go to comicon, if you like learning look around at your school, go to things you like doing and you WILL find like minded people of the opposite sex who are into the same thing (yes, even table top gaming).
And then, when you feel that attraction remember that you're mostly feeling that due to pheromones, so if you're feeling it, they are probably feeling it too. Be bold, get out there, and don't be afraid of being shut down, because being shut down isn't any sort of big deal (honestly, their loss) and it happens to everyone (but also know how to take subtle shut down hints like body language and undertone of their subtext, because it hurts way less to walk away when you get the feeling they're not interested, and it sometimes will make them more interested).
Don't feel like you're going to be alone because you're too shy or don't like getting drunk and randomly hooking up (which by the way is how bad relationships start), you're only going to be alone if you allow yourself to be alone.
Post-Edit Edit: And because I recently re-watched this movie while getting amped for my trip to Vegas:
You're so money you don't even know it.
You see, I used to be really bothered that I was single, even if it was mostly due to me not having the time or desire to find a woman, I still felt lacking in some way whenever I was single. That is until I met my last ex. She was beautiful, brilliant, and had pretty much everything I was looking for and we clicked like mad. She had to go off to college and ended up breaking it off with me right before fucking some random guy, and while this hurts, I can understand it, distance kills.
For the past year or so I've just been broken hearted over her, and while I'd flirt and get offered many chances with women I'd always end up letting my pursuit of them waver and end up being alone by this odd subconscious personal choice, I think out of fear of being hurt again.
Not too long ago that ex had her new boyfriend attempted to troll me on Facebook, I turned it around on them by just being my usual charming self, which is how I got her to confess she sent him to do it... For some odd reason this gave me a sort of closure.. A sort of "She still wants me" feeling. We ended it insulting each other and won't be speaking for some time but something about the encounter makes me sure that she'll be back at some point.
So now, I still have a broken heart, but it doesn't hurt any more, and I'm not scared any more, I just... Don't care about dating. I have so much other shit going on, from school to getting deeper in the music scene, that shit just doesn't seem important to me, and add to it that I haven't met any woman yet that compares to my ex or lights that fire under me that makes me need to pursue them.
So... I'm content being single, but I'm concerned because I used to care so much. I believe in love, and love being in love, but I just don't need it anymore. My friends tell me this is a good thing, and I suppose I do agree, but it does make me slightly concerned that since I'm out of that mood right now, in what should be my dating prime (early mid to late 20's, I'm 24 now to be specific), that I may end up alone, which isn't something I want, I do want a good partner.
Oh well, whatever, I'm sure I'll meet plenty of intelligent and beautiful women when I start touring. Maybe then I can meet someone who really sparks that fire back up in me.
Edit: And to all the people I'm seeing on here who have never dated. If you even mildly want to, you should get out there. I'm here to tell you right now that it IS better to have loved and lost, and there is someone out there for you. If you're not into clubbing or other typical social activities like that then you should just look at what you like doing, if it's social maybe try doing whatever that is in a social setting/new social setting/bigger social setting: multiplayer gaming at LAN events, or other crowd based events, if you like comics go to comicon, if you like learning look around at your school, go to things you like doing and you WILL find like minded people of the opposite sex who are into the same thing (yes, even table top gaming).
And then, when you feel that attraction remember that you're mostly feeling that due to pheromones, so if you're feeling it, they are probably feeling it too. Be bold, get out there, and don't be afraid of being shut down, because being shut down isn't any sort of big deal (honestly, their loss) and it happens to everyone (but also know how to take subtle shut down hints like body language and undertone of their subtext, because it hurts way less to walk away when you get the feeling they're not interested, and it sometimes will make them more interested).
Don't feel like you're going to be alone because you're too shy or don't like getting drunk and randomly hooking up (which by the way is how bad relationships start), you're only going to be alone if you allow yourself to be alone.
Post-Edit Edit: And because I recently re-watched this movie while getting amped for my trip to Vegas:
You're so money you don't even know it.
In content with it at the moment since I am still young (I am 18). However, that doesn't mean I am not looking for someone. I am just not bothered by the fact I haven't come across anyone yet. Right now, my friends matter the most to me and really, they are all I need. I wouldn't give them up for the world. Now, if I get to my mid twenties, then I may be singing a slightly different tune if I still haven't gotten with someone.
HOW U DO!? I mean, uhh...Daystar Clarion said:
Please explain for these single and unhappy people what your secret is.
OT: I for one have been in a relationship with the same girl for about 5 years (from 13-18) So yeah, I barely know what being single is these days.
Best part? She's a gamer. A really serious one. Yeah, most of you are now jelly.
I feel like you're quoting a song here, but I can't tell what song it is.Loop Stricken said:
And I'm perfectly content. I've never been interested in relationships. I do what I want and socialize enough to not feel alienated. I do not require anything more.