Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?
- Thread starter BangSmashBoom
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The way I look at it (from a non-religious perspective), saving your virginity for your wedding night is like never eating cake until you cut your wedding cake. The experience might be more unique, but I don't consider it worth going for years without... cake.
Also, I'd prefer it if my wife new what she was doing on the wedding night, and this is something you learn from experience.
Also also, unless you're too drunk, it will probably be memorable either way.
Also, I'd prefer it if my wife new what she was doing on the wedding night, and this is something you learn from experience.
Also also, unless you're too drunk, it will probably be memorable either way.
Your avatar... it's beautiful.Vault101 said:
OT: I lost my virginity when I was 18, I had a couple of opportunities before that but I wanted to wait for someone I cared about. I didn't want to lose it on a meaningless one night stand, especially since I don't do one night stands.
Euhm. I don't quite understand your post. I'll just say this: your virginity is as important as you make it. For some people it is important and for others it's not. Nobody can tell you how to feel about it. No sex before marriage ? Sure, go ahead. Have tons of sex before marriage ? Sure, go ahead, just know the risks.
Personally I believe that "saving" your virginity for the "one" is an outdated concept that might have made sense in a time were anti-contraceptives weren't as widely available as they are now. I also think that you should wait until you meet a person your comfortable with the first time and not some random stranger. After that, do whatever you want.
Personally I believe that "saving" your virginity for the "one" is an outdated concept that might have made sense in a time were anti-contraceptives weren't as widely available as they are now. I also think that you should wait until you meet a person your comfortable with the first time and not some random stranger. After that, do whatever you want.
Saving for marriage? No way, also too late. Saving it for someone you care about is a different matter. Sex should be up to you and your partner, but I am personally not a fan of casual sex with strangers. I don't want to have sex with someone I don't care about, my orgasms don't have that much priority.
When you're going to marry someone you should be certain that you're right for each other, you should know that your personalities and dynamics are in sync. Sex is important part of a relationship and if you end up marrying someone who doesn't work on the same level things could get frustrating for both parties.
I also dislike any reasons that are based off the bible. The bible says a lot of things when it comes to relationships that we just don't follow. It's no longer a sin to menstruate and a woman doesn't need to sleep outside because she does so. Morals aren't static and we should base them on logic reasoning .
When you're going to marry someone you should be certain that you're right for each other, you should know that your personalities and dynamics are in sync. Sex is important part of a relationship and if you end up marrying someone who doesn't work on the same level things could get frustrating for both parties.
I also dislike any reasons that are based off the bible. The bible says a lot of things when it comes to relationships that we just don't follow. It's no longer a sin to menstruate and a woman doesn't need to sleep outside because she does so. Morals aren't static and we should base them on logic reasoning .
Well, I also have a saying:BangSmashBoom said:
Sex is evil, evil is a sin, sins are forgiven so get stuck in.
Seriously though, I'd say, lose your virginity when it's right for you - not your peer group, not your family, and certainly not your pastor.
Rushing to lose your virginity to the first person who will oblige is usually a bad idea, but "saving yourself" until marriage really doesn't make much more sense. Sexual compatibility is an important part of a relationship, so you should really find out whether you and your prospective spouse match before committing to something as serious as marriage.
Also, sexually frustrated people tend to make decisions they later regret.
Saving your virginity until you meet "the one" is like avoiding all the Roller Coasters in Alton Towers until you get to go on Oblivion.
Sex has two functions - pleasure and reproduction, we can stop the second function these days, so there's no reason not to get the first function where you can.
Edit - Also, I find that the idea of saving ones virginity is usually based in some sort of Religious code. As with all religious things I think that it's fine for other people to do it, as long as they don't, under any circumstances, try to shove it down my throat.
Yes, I'm one of those people that thinks Religion is the devil (geddit?).
Sex has two functions - pleasure and reproduction, we can stop the second function these days, so there's no reason not to get the first function where you can.
Edit - Also, I find that the idea of saving ones virginity is usually based in some sort of Religious code. As with all religious things I think that it's fine for other people to do it, as long as they don't, under any circumstances, try to shove it down my throat.
Yes, I'm one of those people that thinks Religion is the devil (geddit?).
It's intimate, and you'll likely remember it. So do it with someone you truly care about; in hindsight your first time would probably preferably not have been a one-night-stand.
PS:
Besides that: I do not share your belief system, and thus haven't taken it into account in my answer. I do think there are many good reasons to wait for a specific situation before you do it for the first time. It should be when you're with someone you trust and are comfortable with. When you mutually want it and care for each other, and when you have some form of protection on hand. Those things will all help ensure a good time, a good memory, and prevent unwanted consequences.
It should not necessarily be after marriage, or postponed out of fear of god. Those seem like silly reasons, I'd say, by comparison to what I mentioned above.
PS:
Besides that: I do not share your belief system, and thus haven't taken it into account in my answer. I do think there are many good reasons to wait for a specific situation before you do it for the first time. It should be when you're with someone you trust and are comfortable with. When you mutually want it and care for each other, and when you have some form of protection on hand. Those things will all help ensure a good time, a good memory, and prevent unwanted consequences.
It should not necessarily be after marriage, or postponed out of fear of god. Those seem like silly reasons, I'd say, by comparison to what I mentioned above.
Agreed.TopazFusion said:
Mine was gone so fast I didn't even have time to give it my home address so it could send me a postcard.
Geez dude, don't do that to yourself.Casual Shinji said:
You know, your first time isn't going to be some earth-shattering, world-changing experience. You're most likely going to walk away saying "so that's it huh?". It'll be fun, it'll feel good but since you've never done it, you're not really going to know what you like or what he/she likes. I "lost my virginity" to someone I cared about but it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things; that was many years ago and we had an acrimonious break-up.
Until you're truly comfortable with yourself and your sexuality, you're only ever going to see it as a check in the box as opposed to the pleasurable and intimate experience it truly is.
Oh, I'm aware that birth control is used for more than preventing pregnancy. I must say, kudos to science for finding more than one use for something that was designed with one use in mind.Moonlight Butterfly said:Fair enough, that makes a bit more sense.Macgyvercas said:Then I'm wording it wrong. That wasn't my intent. I should have said smart for what is in my best interests.Moonlight Butterfly said:Why smart exactly? I don't see how that's a factor. You basically just called anyone who has had sex with more than one person stupidMacgyvercas said:
Point is, I'm in no financial condition to risk pregnancy, and neither is she. Yes, I know birth control options exist, but there are always chances that they fail. So quite frankly it's a hell of a lot easier to just avoid the whole possibility.
As for people who have sex with multiple partners, far be it from me to judge. Hell, go for it. Have a blast. Just be responsible about it. STDs are not to be fucked with (pun completely intentional).
I just want to make a point unrelated to your post. If a girl is on birth control that doesn't make her a 'slut who sleeps around'. There are many female only conditions that can only be treated by it such as endometriosis. Just keep that in mind when you get to know a girl guys.
euh... no. thats like playing russian roulette only there are five bullets in the gun. sex is a very important part of a relationship. getting married to find out your future sexlife is going to suck... well that must be hell. and i know you have no way to reference good and bad sex if you are a virgin. trust me on this one. a virgin can find sex baaaaad. (my first gf was REALLY bad in the sack).
i say yes, its worth saving because its literally the most personal thing you do with another person. why would you give away something so special away like that? im 24 years old and proudly still a virgin, anyone who says otherwise well, enjoy you're STD's if and when you eventually get them.
that's another thing thing, so many people sleep with random people and they dont even bloody know each other at all. i'd rather sleep with a person i know everything about and want to spend the rest of my life with. its safer, and if you do get the life breaking of an unwanted
child then you can afford to raise it properly unlike so many accident moms who create the burdens of society.
Also, i am not religious, so nothing has soiled my logical brain. except the soils of human life which tells my logical brain to wait for the right person to sleep with and spend my life with. so ....there...
that's another thing thing, so many people sleep with random people and they dont even bloody know each other at all. i'd rather sleep with a person i know everything about and want to spend the rest of my life with. its safer, and if you do get the life breaking of an unwanted
child then you can afford to raise it properly unlike so many accident moms who create the burdens of society.
Also, i am not religious, so nothing has soiled my logical brain. except the soils of human life which tells my logical brain to wait for the right person to sleep with and spend my life with. so ....there...
Anyone who isn't a virgin will get an STD?Ashadowpie said:
Clearly your brain is super-logical.
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See, this is why I don't like this conversation.
It becomes all or nothing.
You're either a virgin til you get married or sleeping with everyone.
This is quite obviously not how it works.
There are people who have casual sex, there are `everything-but` virgins, there are people who only have sex in long term relationships and then there are people who would be happy to die a virgin.
There is a whole rainbow of fucking and not-fucking.
*Quick edit: Everything below the line is not aimed at you, but at this conversation in general.
Or to catch up with the christmas analogy: Ever opened a really nice looking present, which you had to fight your inner demon not to open it beforehand, just to find out there are just a pair of socks in it?
Sucks, right?
Sucks, right?
Interesting question. I do plan to save myself until I'm with "the one" (21 now). I know it's a tad archaic and unrealistic, but its a decision I made long ago. It's not from a religious perspective in my case, just a sense of loyalty to that person I guess.
Then again, the fact that I'm gay means that
1) no-one I could date will likely agree, and
2) I'm going to hell anyway
So I don't know why I bother. But whatever.
Then again, the fact that I'm gay means that
1) no-one I could date will likely agree, and
2) I'm going to hell anyway
So I don't know why I bother. But whatever.