Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?
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I plan to because of religious beliefs, but if you don't, that's your business.
Kind of sucks though, because I hate, like, uber Christian, bible-thumping types, but it seems like that's the only kind of girl who'll be cool with it. Guess I'll die alone and a virgin...
TBH I was surprised that nearly 20% of people thought so, I thought it'd be way lower.
Kind of sucks though, because I hate, like, uber Christian, bible-thumping types, but it seems like that's the only kind of girl who'll be cool with it. Guess I'll die alone and a virgin...
TBH I was surprised that nearly 20% of people thought so, I thought it'd be way lower.
I have a saying too:BangSmashBoom said:
You wouldn't buy a car without a test drive.
You wouldn't buy a dress (or suit for you guys) without trying it on.
Why would you make the most important decision in your life without making sure you and your partner are compatible?
Virginity = Ignorance. Don't get married while ignorant.
I know that at some point I'm gonna have to say 'fuck it' (figuratively speaking) and stop having it hold me back from simply living my life. But the whole "get on it, else you're a loser" message seems to be everywhere, which I wouldn't even mind so much if I knew the bulk of this problem didn't lie with me. Or if I was asexual.Goofguy said:
Not really.
The lost it to a girl I thought I loved, but in retrospect I was probably more flattered than anything - I'm not sure I even found her that desirable physically, let alone the love of my life.
The sex I've had since then was, depending on the person, more romantic, more meaningful, and felt generally more fun. How many times has your first go at something turned out perfect? You have no other perspective to judge it from.
If your 'first time' was the best sex you've ever had, you're probably doing it wrong.
#1 - It's as personal as you make it. There's even a hint in the name. Even my most romantic and passionate sex I would say was hovering around the same point as when I cried in front of my closest friend in terms of personal impact.
#2 - Would you mind if I ask why you are proud to be a virgin? I mean, unless you don't ever want to have sex in your entire life then surely losing your virginity to someone you want now would be better than later?
#3 - I don't see how waiting any longer to have sex would make me less likely to get an STD - it's not like they expire or anything. That's just a mean stereotype, like suggesting you're just a jealous person with no charisma because you haven't lost your virginity - it'd be unfair and plain stupid to suggest that's the reason when we don't personally know each other.
The lost it to a girl I thought I loved, but in retrospect I was probably more flattered than anything - I'm not sure I even found her that desirable physically, let alone the love of my life.
The sex I've had since then was, depending on the person, more romantic, more meaningful, and felt generally more fun. How many times has your first go at something turned out perfect? You have no other perspective to judge it from.
If your 'first time' was the best sex you've ever had, you're probably doing it wrong.
A few things;Ashadowpie said:
#1 - It's as personal as you make it. There's even a hint in the name. Even my most romantic and passionate sex I would say was hovering around the same point as when I cried in front of my closest friend in terms of personal impact.
#2 - Would you mind if I ask why you are proud to be a virgin? I mean, unless you don't ever want to have sex in your entire life then surely losing your virginity to someone you want now would be better than later?
#3 - I don't see how waiting any longer to have sex would make me less likely to get an STD - it's not like they expire or anything. That's just a mean stereotype, like suggesting you're just a jealous person with no charisma because you haven't lost your virginity - it'd be unfair and plain stupid to suggest that's the reason when we don't personally know each other.
It's worth saving until you're mature enough to make long-term decisions. It's worth saving until you're with someone who cares about you, rather than merely wants to have sex (and until you're with someone you care about, not just wanting to have sex.)
Waiting until marriage I'm far more uneasy about. It seems like a great way to live your life with a lot of unanswered questions, not to mention rolling the dice as far as you and your spouse actually being sexually compatible. There are a lot of shades and flavors of sexuality out there.
Waiting until marriage I'm far more uneasy about. It seems like a great way to live your life with a lot of unanswered questions, not to mention rolling the dice as far as you and your spouse actually being sexually compatible. There are a lot of shades and flavors of sexuality out there.
I believed it was, up until I damaged my relationship with my wife by waiting until we were married. Completely idiotic to put an artificial barrier between you and the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with. She wasn't resentful or angry or anything, our relationship was simply forced down a path that it shouldn't have been and it's impacted the rest of our lives.
Conversely, I'm pretty damned happy I didn't sleep with anyone else, so..
Conversely, I'm pretty damned happy I didn't sleep with anyone else, so..
I'm a female virgin and I'm in my 20s, though it's less because I value my virginity highly and more because I'm just not sexually interested (I'm asexual)...and I don't like children. Perhaps I'm not the right one to be commenting on this kind of thread.
I honestly don' care about virginity. I mean, it would suck if you lost your virginity in some drunk one-night-stand with some shlub, but what's done is done. The only thing that "sex after marriage" has for an advantage is that if your birth control fails (and it does. I know someone who all 3 kids were conceived through at least one method of birth control at once), you'll have more legal and financial legs to stand on.
But meh, two healthy consenting adults. *shrugs*.
EDIT: After posting I remembered an episode of King of the Hill where Luanne wanted to marry a dude she just met just so God can be AOK with them having sex (and not much else). That actually disturbs me more than sex before marriage.
I honestly don' care about virginity. I mean, it would suck if you lost your virginity in some drunk one-night-stand with some shlub, but what's done is done. The only thing that "sex after marriage" has for an advantage is that if your birth control fails (and it does. I know someone who all 3 kids were conceived through at least one method of birth control at once), you'll have more legal and financial legs to stand on.
But meh, two healthy consenting adults. *shrugs*.
EDIT: After posting I remembered an episode of King of the Hill where Luanne wanted to marry a dude she just met just so God can be AOK with them having sex (and not much else). That actually disturbs me more than sex before marriage.
Well I don't think it should be given away to just anyone, I think the person should mean something to you. And when I say "mean something to you" I mean something much deeper than mere friendship.
Just what I want on my wedding night, akward, horrible, terrible sex. Nobody's first time is good, so why not get the feel of it before that and make the night extra special.
EDIT: Also, sexuality is a part of a healthy loving relationship so by waiting you could find that you are very sexually incompatible and be SOL. Yes there are other factors so if you could communicate it could be better but otherwise it would be kind of a downer to have someone who isn't into the same things or just no fun, unless thats ur thing too.
EDIT: Also, sexuality is a part of a healthy loving relationship so by waiting you could find that you are very sexually incompatible and be SOL. Yes there are other factors so if you could communicate it could be better but otherwise it would be kind of a downer to have someone who isn't into the same things or just no fun, unless thats ur thing too.
interesting question. i have no answer. i'm not sure what "waiting" means here. that needs more explaining before i can answer. what's the opposite of waiting? not-waiting? how do you do that? just run out and find somebody to fxxx? i'm not even sure if that's possible. its very difficult to find someone to be with for many teens so... the whole concept doesnt make much sense to me.
p.s. girls don't dig virgins guys most of the time. this is why most teen guys would lie and say they did it before even when they didnt.
figures a christian starts a topic like this. enjoy your boring life
(im just teasing, not trying to offend you xP)
EDIT:
thinking more about this, i'd say that it's important to at least care about the person you are doing it with. that goes for any time you do it, whether it's the first time or the last time. that's my answer. may not be what you were looking for though
p.s. girls don't dig virgins guys most of the time. this is why most teen guys would lie and say they did it before even when they didnt.
figures a christian starts a topic like this. enjoy your boring life
(im just teasing, not trying to offend you xP)
EDIT:
thinking more about this, i'd say that it's important to at least care about the person you are doing it with. that goes for any time you do it, whether it's the first time or the last time. that's my answer. may not be what you were looking for though
If you examine the logic behind it, it's somewhat ridiculous to save gifts for Christmas day, especially when you prepare them far in advance. Why would you hide something away in a closet to gain pleasure after one arbitrary day instead of being ready to give it to them when they ask for it? For example, if got your best friend the Wii U that they're longing for you shouldn't hide it away so that after one prescribed day they can enjoy it. You both could be playing with it right now and having a blast.
There is the matter of anticipation, but depending on Christmas day to generate anticipation doesn't help you get better at giving gifts. It actually stunts your development. If you were giving gifts organically you'd learn how to generate anticipation so you can give it when you want, and you'll be able to read your recipient so you know what to give them and the best time to do it. As an added your partner will be able to read you and give you gifts as you desire them.
There is the matter of anticipation, but depending on Christmas day to generate anticipation doesn't help you get better at giving gifts. It actually stunts your development. If you were giving gifts organically you'd learn how to generate anticipation so you can give it when you want, and you'll be able to read your recipient so you know what to give them and the best time to do it. As an added your partner will be able to read you and give you gifts as you desire them.
I'm generally a very progressive/liberal guy, but I'm surprisingly conservative in that particular issue, in a sentimentalist way.
All this talk about how it is just a biological issue, and about test drives, and compatibility, just makes me incredibly sad.
By the way, does that "compatibility" thing really work that way? As an asexual virgin, I wouldn't know, but I mustly keep hearing about it from A)concerned virgins, B) people who didn't wait themselves.
But outside of soap movies, I didn't ever hear about a case where two people were attracted to each other, intimate in kissing, hugging, etc, both excited about their first time, then months/years later, they were surprised to figure out that they are "not compatible". Just like that.
From the direct records of those who really weren't compatible, it seems to be more of a generic thing for the kind of people who wouldn't touch each other with a 10 foot pole to begin with, not for lovestruck virgin couples.
All this talk about how it is just a biological issue, and about test drives, and compatibility, just makes me incredibly sad.
By the way, does that "compatibility" thing really work that way? As an asexual virgin, I wouldn't know, but I mustly keep hearing about it from A)concerned virgins, B) people who didn't wait themselves.
But outside of soap movies, I didn't ever hear about a case where two people were attracted to each other, intimate in kissing, hugging, etc, both excited about their first time, then months/years later, they were surprised to figure out that they are "not compatible". Just like that.
From the direct records of those who really weren't compatible, it seems to be more of a generic thing for the kind of people who wouldn't touch each other with a 10 foot pole to begin with, not for lovestruck virgin couples.
It's worth keeping in very specific situations, like if you've been chosen to be the Bride of Kong and he'll smash your village and kill everyone you know if you're not a virgin. Otherwise, do what you feel is right for you.
For the record, I'm still a virgin at twenty. It's not because I value my virginity very highly. Hell, I've spent most of my life in the Catholic school system, and I find the whole brouhaha about it to be rather silly. My lingering virginity is more a product of my subpar social skills than anything else. It would take a very special person to deal with that long enough to even consider sex with me, so I'd probably hang on to that person for as long as I could.
However, I'm finding the very definition of virginity to be an increasingly murky thing. For example, we live in world where you can go on the internet, and start a private web cam show with another person, and get each other off without any physical contact. The line between virginity and the lack thereof is blurrier than ever to me.
For the record, I'm still a virgin at twenty. It's not because I value my virginity very highly. Hell, I've spent most of my life in the Catholic school system, and I find the whole brouhaha about it to be rather silly. My lingering virginity is more a product of my subpar social skills than anything else. It would take a very special person to deal with that long enough to even consider sex with me, so I'd probably hang on to that person for as long as I could.
However, I'm finding the very definition of virginity to be an increasingly murky thing. For example, we live in world where you can go on the internet, and start a private web cam show with another person, and get each other off without any physical contact. The line between virginity and the lack thereof is blurrier than ever to me.
Or she's just on it to protect herself. I don't see why you have to justify being on the pill with illness, it's just good sense.Moonlight Butterfly said:
I've been on the pill for nearly 5 years and I don't see why that would alter someone's opinion of me.