Poll: Is your virginity worth saving?

[Zykon TheLich_v1legacy]

Only you can answer that question, my son.

...oh, do I personally feel that my virginity would be worth saving if that ship hadn't sailed a looooong time ago? No.

When you're young you are both inevitably going to be shit at sex, but it doesn't matter, you can work it out together and you are both so clueless you probably won't realise how bad you are at it. The older you get the less likely you are going to find someone as crap in bed as you are. Sure if they really love you they'll get over it and there's something to be said for the fun of training someone up, but generally it's nice to be able to satisfy your partner and that takes practice, especially if you're a dude.

Also I don't believe in god and virginity as a concept to me is worthless. It is simply the state of not having had sex yet.

Now if you think god says otherwise and you don't care about any of that and find someone who thinks likewise then good for you, but me, nope.

 

[FalloutJack]

Virginity is your business. It's to be discussed with the one you love.

 

[hazabaza1]

If you're some middle eastern (or whatever she was) prostitute, then yes, because you can get three quarters of a million bucks if you use it at the right time.
Personally? I don't think I'm going to shag some random hooker off the street but I'm not planning on saving myself for "the one".

 

[Phasmal]

Needs a `Don't care either way` thing.
Virginity is what you make of it.

I don't really care what others do with theirs.
Personally I think it doesn't matter. I wouldn't have `saved for marriage` because I do believe that sexual compatibility is important, and I'd wanna know that stuff before marriage. But if people wanna save theirs, good for them.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Of course not. There's something dehumanising about placing too great a value on virginity. It's like you don't care about them as a person because now they are used goods, whereas you wanted a partner who was brand new.

 

[Calibanbutcher]

Me and my family have a saying, Marriage and Christmas have a few things in common, unwrapping your present before the big special day is a VERY BAD IDEA! So obviously us all including me say yes, it's definitely worth saving, and I'm still planning on saving my virginity for my future wife, and for countless other reasons of course, but obviously I am probably the only one that feels this way, so I ask you guys do YOU personally feel that your virginity is worth saving, and why?
I was also wondering if you guys also feel that most wives would appreciate the fact that their husbands saved their virginity for them as a gift to her of loyalty, patience and self-disciple; and same for the husbands appreciating the fact that his wife saved her virginity for him as a gift as well.
Last thing where I come from, we believe that fornication is just as bad as Adultery, don't ask me why, I didn't write the Bible and I am not trying to guilt or convert anyone, I am just trying to help you guys understand my belief system; the only way I can understand that it says that fornication is just as bad as adultery is, for me I believe that if you have sex before you are married, you are cheating on the one that God has planned for you, so I don't know about you guys but for me I love my wife as much as I can love another person, and I have never even met her yet or at least I don't think so, because I believe that if God wants me to marry, that he'll reward me with the wife that I so dearly desire, as long as I stay faithful to him.

Fixed it for you, you're welcome.
Please copy that into the OP.
Pretty please?

My take:
God will not simply deliver a wife to your doorstep one day, you ought to get out there and actively look for her.
Your virginity is yours to do with as you please, so whatever seems right to you is the right thing to do.
Just don't go around judging others.

 

[gazumped]

Sorry No was "if you don't use it, you loose it".

I vote 'no', but I don't want to vote for your 'no, if you don't use it you lose it' option because I don't think that, either.

You know the difference between when I lost my virginity and when I have sex now, six years and four boyfriends later? There is none. I adore my current boyfriend as much as I adored my first boyfriend. I'm still fond of all the guys I've slept with and was fully willing to share in those experiences with them, so have nothing to regret. Pick sexual partners that you trust and like, for sure, but it's really not that big a deal if they're not going to be the person that you're with for ever and ever.

In fact, if anything, I'm against the notion of saving yourself for marriage, although Tainted Saint has already covered this point. For most couples, sexual compatibility is what makes the difference between being good friends and being romantic partners. Sex is so important in marriage that you actually have to have sex with each other for it to count, hence the ability to annul a marriage if it's never consummated. What happens if you legally bind yourself to someone you've never slept with before only to discover that you have completely different tastes and needs in the bedroom?

Of course not. There's something dehumanising about placing too great a value on virginity. It's like you don't care about them as a person because now they are used goods, whereas you wanted a partner who was brand new.

This, very much. I've heard people use the analogy that our bodies are 'a temple, not to be defiled'. How is a person 'defiling' themselves by taking part in an enjoyable and intimate activity (that has multiple emotional and physical health benefits, I might add)? So long as everyone is responsible and takes precautions with regards to STDs (and pregnancy if they're not up for having a babby any time soon) of course.

 

[TelHybrid]

As a guy, I say hell no. Virginity is a horrible stigma that needs to be eradicated, at least for a guy it is. I can't speak for the opposite sex but I'm guessing it may be a different story.

But anyone who says a guy's virginity is worth saving is bullshitting.

 

[Orsoeus]

No i don't think its worth saving, for many reasons.
1) Its a natural and biological part of our human instinct. Sexual repression is harmful and can seriously scar you for life.
2) 'Virginity' really doesn't make much sense. If you put it in a little, but not fully, are you a virgin? If a girl gets fingered, surely shes lost her virginity, as shes still being entered. See as its an intangible thing, its more of an opinion. It only has the value you give it.
3) Some people are not sexually compatible. Period. You cannot argue this. And that is an awkward thing to divorce for, as previous posters are right, marriage without sex is hell on earth.

Of course i'm a free thinking athiest so this kind of thing is quite clear to me, but if girls want to save their virginity, thats fine, just stay away from me.

 

[StormShaun]

Virginity is your business. It's to be discussed with the one you love.

This guy wins.

And I agree with him. Whenever you want to have sex is your choice...you shouldn't feel weird for not having sex right away like most people these days. I say have sex when you feel conformable with your parter or yourself.

Its entirely your choice...not everyone elses. XD

For me...well I'll do it when I'm comfortable. I'll only do it with person I truly love and know that I will spend my life with.

 

[Vivi22]

You know, I've come to believe that waiting until you're married to have sex might be among the worst decisions you could make about sex. Think about it for a second: if you're marrying someone, presumably, you should be looking to spend the rest of your life with them. So what if you never have sex before the big day and that night when you do, it's terrible? And what if it's not just first time awkwardness that's the problem, but it just never gets better because you don't mesh well in the bedroom? Sex is a pretty important thing in a marriage, like it or not, so wouldn't you rather find out that it's not going to work before making a very expensive commitment that's a pain in the ass to get out of? I'm not even saying you have to jump the bones of everyone you date, but if you've gotten to the point where asking the person to marry you is a real consideration, it's time to head to the bedroom and start taking off some clothes.

Virginity to me is nothing special. It's not some gift of loyalty or any other thing people tell themselves to convince them that it's important and something to be cherished. A healthy sex life between two people who love each other is far more important, and the only thing being a virgin tells me is the first time's going to be pretty damn awkward, but at least they aren't disease addled I suppose.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

Nope, saved my virginity for the guy I was engaged to, he turned out to be a wife beating bastard.

Not to be cynical and bitter but people live much longer than they used to. Expecting someone to be the same person and never change for 50 odd years is pretty crazy. Not to mention you might change too.

That said sex gets much better in a long term relationship. I have nothing against those

Save your virginity or not doesn't bother me. But be careful of thinking that the person you lose it with will be around forever because shit happens, usually to good people.

 

[Woodsey]

No. What's the point? People's obsession with it is, if anything, a little creepy.

If you're some middle eastern (or whatever she was) prostitute, then yes, because you can get three quarters of a million bucks if you use it at the right time.
Personally? I don't think I'm going to shag some random hooker off the street but I'm not planning on saving myself for "the one".

Brazilian, I think. Heh.

 

[Macgyvercas]

It's not anything inherently sacred to me, but odds are I won't have sex until I get married. And my girlfriend feels the same way. Again, it's nothing special. It's called being smart.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

It's not anything inherently sacred to me, but odds are I won't have sex until I get married. And my girlfriend feels the same way. Again, it's nothing special. It's called being smart.

Why smart exactly? I don't see how that's a factor. You basically just called anyone who has had sex with more than one person stupid

 

[Nimbus]

Promising to spend your entire life with someone before finding out if you are compatible in a pretty damn important way? Sounds like a GREAT idea!

 

[Loonyyy]

Of course not. There's something dehumanising about placing too great a value on virginity. It's like you don't care about them as a person because now they are used goods, whereas you wanted a partner who was brand new.

Pretty much this. The idea that you want someone's virginity (A non-tangible thing, which does you no good apart from you passing judgement on others) as a gift, should be a sign your thinking is backwards.

I figure, there's a limited period where you actually have the freedom to do what you want, so go out and have fun. Anyone who wants, or desires, the virginity of others is acting insanely creepy, judgemental and if it's a religious motivation... I think you need a better motivation.

If you don't want to do it, don't, but by all means, if you have the desire to do it, and you find the right partner, fire away.

 

[theblindedhunter]

Generally speaking, no, virginity is not something particularly special, aside from a guarantee of an awkward experience. Nothing especially wrong with saving it for the person you decide to commit yourself to, except for that placing undo importance on both a civil joining of two people and the act of sex.
Don't get me wrong, it should be important. Personally, I hope to do that with someone I love dearly. But to hold onto it like it is some dear, precious thing seems unhealthy. All it really is is the inexperience to treat a partner how they really ought to be treated - to pleasure them like you should.

 

[Davey Woo]

For me it's got to the point where, I wouldn't really want my first time to be with a girl I wouldn't ever meet again. However on the flip side, I probably wouldn't turn down the opportunity for sex if I got it.