Everyone grieves in different ways, let them grieve, cry and come to terms with loss themselves. People feel better once they've made the decision to move on themselves.
Poll: Isn't crying about the deceased pointless?
- Thread starter Kirex
- Start date
Logically, no it doesn't make any sense, but that doesn't change much. It's not a voluntary response.
The grieving process is not pointless. The fact that it is a natural emotion and coping mechanism gives it it's "point". The question is, "is it practical?"
Will it help the deceased or those who simply don't care? ...no.
Will it help the griever come to terms with what they lost, or help overcoming the ensuing feelings about their own mortality? Yes.
Will grieving allow you and everyone in that persons life to celebrate all that made that person matter to other people? Yes.
Will it give people some goddamn closure before day to day life expects people to catch up while you're still planning a funeral? Yes.
If they died as a sacrifice so that others may live, grieving for them is also a way of celebrating the lives they saved.
It is because we grieve, that we prove the value of life. I am not a religious person, but if you tell anyone that grieving for their loved ones or honouring the deaths of those that saved their loved ones that their feelings are "pointless" or "stupid" I worry about your soul. If the deceased had harmed you, I understand the satisfaction because karma avenged your suffering, but don't you dare tell people that their grief is pointless or laugh at their loss.
Will it help the deceased or those who simply don't care? ...no.
Will it help the griever come to terms with what they lost, or help overcoming the ensuing feelings about their own mortality? Yes.
Will grieving allow you and everyone in that persons life to celebrate all that made that person matter to other people? Yes.
Will it give people some goddamn closure before day to day life expects people to catch up while you're still planning a funeral? Yes.
If they died as a sacrifice so that others may live, grieving for them is also a way of celebrating the lives they saved.
It is because we grieve, that we prove the value of life. I am not a religious person, but if you tell anyone that grieving for their loved ones or honouring the deaths of those that saved their loved ones that their feelings are "pointless" or "stupid" I worry about your soul. If the deceased had harmed you, I understand the satisfaction because karma avenged your suffering, but don't you dare tell people that their grief is pointless or laugh at their loss.
Initially crying is not pointless. Crying is a natural reaction, that shouldn't be held back. If you feel the need to cry, cry.
However once the seething depression starts to alter how your life will play out. Stop, just do it. While there is a point to mourning the loss of a loved one initially, there is no point in mourning the loss of a loved one until the very day you die.
It's pointless to mourn a person for any period of time over a month, i'd say. And that's only if you're really balled over. Seriously, I know it's sad, but pull yourself together. Death is something that should be shrugged off. Because, y'know. Thousands of people do that every day.
However once the seething depression starts to alter how your life will play out. Stop, just do it. While there is a point to mourning the loss of a loved one initially, there is no point in mourning the loss of a loved one until the very day you die.
It's pointless to mourn a person for any period of time over a month, i'd say. And that's only if you're really balled over. Seriously, I know it's sad, but pull yourself together. Death is something that should be shrugged off. Because, y'know. Thousands of people do that every day.
You don't have to be sad if someone you didn't know very well dies. A great aunt of mine died recently, but I'd only met her a couple of times in my entire life and honestly it doesn't really affect me. However, if I were to sit around looking bored at the funeral, that would be rather upsetting to all the people who did know and love her. It's about respect to those who are suffering for the loss, and I'm honestly perplexed that you weren't able to figure that out for yourself.Kirex said:
Whats funny is that most of the primate animals in the world have tear ducts and cry. Simply hard wired into our DNA. Also, elephants cry, and even have a burial ritual of sorts. I think its just life nature, if you follow.
When It comes to gried, I like to try to get it all out at once. When that once happens is an entirely different question, but it always involves crying.
I was gonna say you´re evil, but then I looked at your profile pic and gave up.
OT: It is. A lot of things are pointless. Like DLC. Or Vegetarian pizza. But people still do them. I guess we're only humans.
OT: It is. A lot of things are pointless. Like DLC. Or Vegetarian pizza. But people still do them. I guess we're only humans.
I didn't cry when I found out my dad had died or at the funeral! I did however bawl my eyes out when I tried to tell my friend and after the funeral when I was with just my brother and sister because I couldn't hold it all in anymore! The pain of losing a loved one is immense and sometimes the only thing you can do is cry!!! I personally don't like people seeing me cry but not because I'm afraid they'll think i'm weak but because I looked f*cking awful when I cry! Like most people I guess:'D
yeah, it's kind of like telling someone not to be nervousDaystar Clarion said:
My brother once knew an actor in college, who when asked "don't you get nervous?" replied "No, it's a waste of time". We then concluded that he just doesn't get nervous like the rest of us.
My family has a rather odd tradition of celebrating after people die. It's not like a "ding dong the witch is dead" type of thing, we just believe that we should celebrate a person's life instead of mourn their death. It takes more time to live then it does to die. When I was a kid four of my great grandparents died. Now that I'm older I love to talk about them because they were great people and I'm very lucky that I got to know them. In my opinion that's not worth crying over though sometimes it can't be helped.
I don't understand people who insist that EVERY action has to be logical. There is little logic involved with emotions.
It's what makes us human. Yes, I'm aware how cliched that is, but it's because it's TRUE.
Here's a better question: If someone is crying at a funeral, what harm does that do to any minuscule thing in existence? Crying is healthy, and affects no one else beyond making them feel a bit sadder, but that's irrelevant because they're at a funeral.
It's what makes us human. Yes, I'm aware how cliched that is, but it's because it's TRUE.
Here's a better question: If someone is crying at a funeral, what harm does that do to any minuscule thing in existence? Crying is healthy, and affects no one else beyond making them feel a bit sadder, but that's irrelevant because they're at a funeral.
Well, considering crying is a standard response to being sad, then yeah, it's perfectly fine.Kirex said:
The last time I cried was when someone close to me died, 5 years ago.
Since then, I've not seen reason to cry. Shrug.
Any emotion or effort on the dead is ultimately pointless. You may as well drag them out ot the woods and let them rot for all the good a proper (read expensive) showing and burial is going to do them.
However, we as humans are emotional creatures, so we cant help it. Tears let us release sadness, laughter release joy, growling release anger and so on and so forth.
Now in my family, we dont cry at showings. we laugh hysterically like hatters remembering teh good times, and on more then one occassion weve had a family member die and be buried in a t shirt and shorts, so thats how the whole family would go to the wake (like its some kinda picnic).
...
I dont know, in the end, I'll have to quote my grandfather, who told me this when my gf died.
"Shed only a single tear there ya pansy, or youre going to wash her memories away".
And so thats something Ive tried to live by.
EDIT:
However, we as humans are emotional creatures, so we cant help it. Tears let us release sadness, laughter release joy, growling release anger and so on and so forth.
Now in my family, we dont cry at showings. we laugh hysterically like hatters remembering teh good times, and on more then one occassion weve had a family member die and be buried in a t shirt and shorts, so thats how the whole family would go to the wake (like its some kinda picnic).
...
I dont know, in the end, I'll have to quote my grandfather, who told me this when my gf died.
"Shed only a single tear there ya pansy, or youre going to wash her memories away".
And so thats something Ive tried to live by.
EDIT:
I find it interesting youre planning to die after your kids.Thomas Guy said: