Poll: Virginity. purity, innocence

[lacktheknack]

The way I see sex before marriage is this: I would prefer people didn't, but there isn't anything that can be done to stop it. If I met a girl whom I genuinely loved, and it turned out she wasn't a virgin, I would look past it because it isn't overly important. I feel that sleeping around is an unnecessary complication, but I wouldn't let it get in the way of things that are more crucial to a happy relationship than that.

This.

I'm perfectly fine (and actively strive) to remain a virgin until the right one shows up, because I highly value monogamy. I'm wolf-like that way.

It has little to do with innocence and more to do with commitment, but that's not what the OP is trying to get at. In terms of innocence... well, no one's truly innocent, so why does it matter?

 

[Daveman]

I do find it amusing when people suggest it'll be terrible if she's not a virgin, or been around the block a few times, because the girl won't be as tight downstairs. Personal experience has told me that tight is generally uncomfortable and you have to be pretty arrogant to think you're definitely going to have difficulty fitting it in. I mean it's impressive but also kinda sad, in the same way as somebody having to duck every time they go through a door.

 

[Artemis923]

Virgins suck.

I can only recommend banging a virgin if you yourself are a virgin.

 

[Greg White]

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

this probably cannot be stressed enough. it's why so many sex crimes go unreported in religiously conservative communities

The overwhelming majority of sex crimes go unreported regardless of the presence of religion.

 

[BarkBarker]

I think the idea is that you get only one and it is supposed to be for someone special, frankly that is not a virginity thing that is a *you only have one so make sure you do it right* thing, I don't LIKE the idea there have been other penis', but I could easily push past that with someone worth while, but to be honest if I knew they did something really stupid and gave it to an asshole or treated it as *just something to get rid of*, I'd be pretty tempted to leave them alone, I personally would like to know the one I give my virginity to was someone of incredible worth to me, no one likes their judgement being proved wrong and they turn out not as you had thought, I'm not gonna condemn someone who has sex, but I would be unhappy with someone who fucks whatever they wish because it goes against my concept if biology and being human, as a human we don't do because we can and revel in pleasure as we wish, and in biology terms I don't think my genetics would be happy any part of me is touching...shall we say....THE LOWER HANGING FRUITS just because I like the feeling.

I am an atheist through and through, I don't follow these morals just because, I believe there was worth in wanting the first time to be with a virgin as the only thing that matters is each other, as much as you would not want to you can't say you won't ever compare if you aren't a virgin, and I wouldn't want to have my first time being that intimate with another to be up for ratings, that is all.

 

[Varrdy]

I will admit to defloration being something I like to do in RP but have yet to pop someone's cherry for real. Now I am in my 30's I think that ship has sailed. Ah, well! It's hardly a deal breaker!

 

[mrblakemiller]

Once a partner loses their virginity they are somehow unpure and not dependable. Because they had sex with someone else before, they will sleep around and be unfaithful.

This doesn' make any sense, and I can't imagine anyone believing this without having a trail mix of other stupid ideas about relationships in general.

I'm a Christian, a virgin, and I'd prefer my wife to be for Godliness's sake. But it's in no way a must, because people make mistakes, and a lot of ideas around the question are wrongheaded. Some people apparently believe that getting raped means you lose your virginity, while others think you can do everything but vaginal intercourse and keep it. Idiotic, in my opinion. You always choose to lose your virginity, and my metric is touching your genitals in a sexual manner with your consent.

As always, do what you want, but it wouldn't hurt to inform yourself of potential consequences.

 

[Scott Rothman]

Virginity is a social construct.

End of thread.

 

[Angelowl]

Meh, I'm technically a virgin at 24 years. Mildly frustrated due to me wanting my best friend to be my first as he was the first peron I ever felt comfortable. Then he got three different girlfriends and i engaged to the lastest one. Other than that? I now what I find interesting, what triggers me and I know my body fairly well. So it seems a bit weird to obsess about the whole "not having slept with anyone yet", especially when normal people seem to do it with strangers.

For preferences I would prefer someone with a bit of experience, or at least know themselves and are mature to enough to discuss it. Sleeping with someone who has no idea what they're doing would probably be a bit awkward.

 

[briankoontz]

Virginity has little relevance to anything. What's important is to only have sex with loved ones, since sex forms a psychochemical bond between two people, which is wrong to form in anything other than a loving relationship. Love is a deep emotional/spiritual connection.

Virginity has no relationship with purity, but sex outside of love is abusive and results in a degraded person.

I suppose so many people confuse virginity with purity since so many people have sex with someone they don't love, thus they view sex itself as impure, thus the only pure people are virgins.

The key is to follow one's heart, to take one's own feelings very seriously, and not disregard one's feelings in favor of some objective criteria of others ("hotness", wealth, shared interests, etc.).

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Wait what? This is a thing? I suppose as a virgin I'd be more comfortable with another virgin. As a non-virgin I'd prefer a non-virgin. First time always sucks, at least for the female end, considering all the pain and the blood. I don't want to deal with that more than once, thank you very much.

 

[Gatx]

Well the only "positive" in my mind is that they won't laugh at you for being bad a sex (if it's your first time or you're just bad at sex). Also I think if you're a male that it's unfair to expect the girl to be a virgin if you're not.

 

[cikame]

I think for me, a male, it's less that the female has physically 'lost' their virginity, and more that they have felt the same feelings they are sharing with you with someone else at some point, and that sort of ruins it.
I'm kind of a romantic so i want everything to be special and unique, if it's a repeat moment for her i'd feel less important.

My first time was quite young so it wasn't an issue, but i'm at the age now where the majority have done it so i really wonder if there can be any of this innocence in the future.

 

[The Towel Boy]

I value it, but I just don't want my partner to be sleeping around like a skank. I lost mine young and since then recognized that virginity doesn't mean that your scared of intimate relationships or moments like that, but rather as a show of their trust and love in you. (Also for a good amount of fun, groaning, and feeling that is derived from the experience.)

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

I stayed a virgin until I was out of High School and 18, legally able to make my own decisions. I hold that experience close to me as it gave me an emotional maturity for one thing and allowed my raging hormones to settle somewhat so I could think clearly. I don't regret it, despite the ridicule I had from others in high school.
I don't feel staying a virgin until you're married is a big deal, but at least until you're on your own and able to face the consequences of sex. Namely having children, because as I found out condoms break and pregnancy scares happen. I also do not feel right about abortion personally. I feel the consequences for me are more than I could bear in life. (side note: I also feel that is a topic that EVERYONE must decide for themselves and if you choose to have it you should be liable for it both financially and mentally except in extreme circumstances).
It takes maturity to deal with sex and its other consequences aside from pregnancy as well. Emotionally one partner may (and usually does) become attached while the other just sees a booty call followed by a cab ride. Granted there are a lot of people who aren't mature at 18, but I still hold 18 as a standard age if you're old enough to leave your parents house to live on your own, you're old enough to start making mature decisions.
Mistakes will be made, how you deal with the consequences are the real sign of maturity.

 

[Blow_Pop]

It is an overblown concept that is pushed by religious people as a way to control their children through fear and shame.

Its not only religious people however. For example, if you go to certain sites like 4chan thats frequently visited by certain demographic (known for their specific type of facial hair), you can see that some, mostly... unsocial people also a huge fixation on virginity, which i doubt stems from religion.

Yeah I can't explain that one, I guess they are coming from an overblown personal ego.

I can.

It has it's basis in religion and has been adopted by general society. It's why a lot of schools teach abstinence only education.

To the OP's question, I don't value virginity at all. It's fine and great if you are a virgin and you are proud of it. It's fine and great if you're not a virgin and you are proud of it. Personally partner wise, I prefer people with experience. Then again given what I prefer sexually, they NEED to have experience. Because I honestly don't enjoy training my partners

 

[Caiphus]

I do value a girl with innocence, to a certain degree. Once they've spent more than two years in prison, warning lights start to go off.


Hahahahaha, good one me.

But yeah, I don't mind about virginity. It might hurt my precious ego if I was to start dating a porn star, but aside from that, I don't care.