Poll: Would you date a transgendered person?

Woodsey

New member
Aug 9, 2009
14,553
0
0
Melanie McGreevey said:
I have a question to those of you that say NOT telling you is a lie...how? It's a choice to unveil bits of a painful past. When you go into a relationship with someone, on that first date, do you describe every sexual encounter you've had, every quirk of your personality, every physical "issue" (be it VD, a cold, etc) you've had?

I am not trying to be argumentative, i am just curious if you expect "full disclosure" from your partner, do you give it back? I realize being trans is a little different, but if you have had regrets, mistakes, trauma happen to you, to you tell the person you're with every minute detail?

if so, good on you!
I'm not entirely sure that revealing intricate and minute details of your entire sexual history is quite the same as letting them know that you were once a man/woman, at the very least. I don't think that's exactly unreasonable. Saying that does not immediately necessitate everything and anything you went through to get to that point, in the same way that telling someone you're on a date with that you have a kid doesn't necessitate delving into your history with your ex.
 

Andalusa

Mad Cat Lady
Feb 25, 2008
2,734
0
0
Sure, why the hell not? If I find them attractive and I like them, there's no reason not to.
 

Monkeyman O'Brien

New member
Jan 27, 2012
427
0
0
Mortai Gravesend said:
Yeah, it can. I mean you have no problem writing off beating people into the ground as 'disagreement' so I'm not sure why you're going to call that anything more.
Congratulations. You have just invalidated the very real and very horrific experiences of people who have been the victims of hate crimes.
Nice to know that if a minority does something to deserve a punch in the face then what they actually did does not matter and the other person clearly did it just because of their specific minority.

Melanie McGreevey said:
Beat me to it :0 and btw "trannie" is a derogatory term to most trans people. (not all, but most).
Beat you to saying nothing of worth? Yup. Please don't hang back and try to tag onto someone elses argument. Its really quite sad and does not get you out of the situation you put yourself in.
And no. Trannie is not a derogatory word. If some overly sensative moron wants to take it as such that is their problem however for those of us without persecution complexes it is simply a contraction of the terms Transexual or Transgender since people seem to not even be able to decide themselves which is the "correct" term.

Kinguendo said:
do gay men find women sexually attractive?

Do gay women find men sexually attractive?

I really dont know...
 

kasperbbs

New member
Dec 27, 2009
1,855
0
0
Nope, theres plenty of girls around here, i doubt i would go for a girl wannabe, not to mention that i would have to put a lot of effort into actually finding one.
 

Raika

New member
Jul 31, 2011
552
0
0
I think most cisgendered people are just too shallow and superficial to comprehend the concept of 'gender' versus 'sex'. Who are you to say that, for instance, Terri O'Connell is and will always be a man, no matter how much she presents otherwise? What about Chaz Bono? Is he a woman? No, he isn't, and it isn't his fault that his body and his mind didn't initially fit and he managed to do something about it before people like you drove him to suicide like you've driven so many others.

To demand that someone abandon their identity just because you're too happy being ignorant to look past the physical attributes of a person is just asinine, not to mention disgusting and hateful. Suck my dick, I'm a fucking woman.
 

Blow_Pop

Supreme Evil Overlord
Jan 21, 2009
4,865
0
0
I voted it depends/I don't fit in the above categories. Because. I am a female. I am also bisexual. I would date a FTM or MTF if I found one attractive enough. I've known enough of them that I have no problems with them. By all means, if you were born one gender and identify with the opposite gender enough to want to change your gender, do it. If that's what makes you happy.
If they are compatible with me then why wouldn't I date them?
 

Casual Shinji

Should've gone before we left.
Legacy
Apr 4, 2020
17,804
2,137
118
Da_Vane said:
Kendarik said:
I don't think I could ever look at them and REALLY see any post op as "their new gender". They will always be victims of a mental illness and medical misconduct to me. As such I will treat them with respect and I will be the first to support them in obtaining equal rights and good treatment, but they will never really be their new gender in my mind.
So you don't support them then? This is the very first decision everybody really needs to make when dealing with another human being - the moment you decide they will NEVER be their new gender in your mind, you have undermined their rights. That's like saying you have decided that they will NEVER be a human being in your mind. You don't have to be dating someone to make this decision - it is common courtesy.

You won't know if someone is pre-op or post-op until they tell you or you are close enough to get intimate with them, but you will be able to determine what gender they are and how they should be treated long before that. If your sense of what gender a person is is based on the status of their genitalia, then you are sadly mistaken, because unless you make the habit of wandering naked, this isn't something people normally see.

There are other gender cues, and these gender cues reinforce gender identity. If in doubt, go for the gender cues in the way people are dressed, and other conscious, deliberate choices they are making to reinforce those gender cues. These are simple things that, while they often come across as stereotypical, and trying too hard, are usually done for a reason - just like any other identity cue.

If ANYBODY feels they have the right to decide that someone else will NEVER be something, then perhaps they should be the ones diagnosed with the mental illness. Because they are obviously lacking in the courtesy and empathy required to be a human being, and maybe they should understand and experience what it is like to be treated as if they will NEVER be something that they care about, as much as they desire it. To never be treated as a reasonable person that has the right to share opinions in public on the state of others should suffice in most cases.
There is a difference between tolerating and accepting.

Tolerance is something you do out of common courtesy. Acceptance is personal act.

I'll tolerate anyone who wishes to change their sex, but that doesn't mean I have to accept the gender they've become.
 

Kinguendo

New member
Apr 10, 2009
4,267
0
0
Monkeyman O said:
Kinguendo said:
do gay men find women sexually attractive?

Do gay women find men sexually attractive?

I really dont know...
The first picture doesnt work and the second looks like a woman, kinda like Tina Fey... whats your point? That gay women look like Tina Fey?

Look, you are coming off as incredibly ignorant and intentionally offensive.
 

Raika

New member
Jul 31, 2011
552
0
0
Melanie McGreevey said:
And YES trannie IS indeed derogatory to SOME trans people, and a lot of that has to do with it being that last word they hear before being assaulted, or attacked in some way.
I agree to an extent. I've heard the term 'tranny' used in a very derogatory way(akin to '******' or similar), but I've also heard it used as shorthand since, let's face it, it's a linguistic derivative of 'transsexual', which is kind of a mouthful. I guess it's all about context.
 

Michael Hirst

New member
May 18, 2011
552
0
0
Short answer: no.

Long answer: I'm not intolerant and wouldn't say they have to right to be but it just wouldn't sit right with me. I believe that no matter what, you're born a particular gender and no amount of surgery or psychology can completely change that. I can get why gender confusion would be frustrating as hell for someone but that doesn't mean I could date one.

Then again I do also keep the desire to one day have children of my own, pretty instinctual behaviour that can only be done one way. Surrogate mothers not being an option.
 

VoEC

New member
Dec 10, 2010
39
0
0
As a pre-op transgender girl (aka MTF) who just started transitioning and tried to kill herself last year (after which I came out) the answers of some people here quite sadden me.

I maybe could understand that you would not like to date a tg person because it would make you feel uncomfortable or something, especially if they hadn't had the surgery yet. But just blatantly saying that you think people like me are disgusting and mentally ill and that you would never date a "man" because your not gay is really depressing for me.
I thought that the Escapist community consisted of mostly open minded people.

I admit that I am really scared about how it will be when I go to the university this year. I guess that many people still don't really understand transgenderism and that the vox populi shapes many misconceptions about trans people. I don't know if I will be able to find new friends who will accept me as a girl.
I havn't had any kind of relationship and I guess that will never change if people still think like this.

That said, I am glad that there are some open minded people like myself here. I hope I will meet some like you in my future.


But to get back to the question:

Yes, I would. In fact, it doesn't matter.

I am pan and I don't give a damn about what gender you are or what sex you have.
Maybe, I am more attracted to one person or the other based on the looks, but in the end all that matters for me in a relationship is the personality of my partner.
Sex might be a problem for a partner who is transgender and doesn't feel comfortable in his or her body at all, it certainly is for me.

But I could never judge a person for being born in the wrong body, or born with two sexes or whatnot, even in an relationship.

EDIT:
Oh, and regarding having kids:
Well, I am not going to have children anyway, because, well, I can't. But even if I were not in this situation, I wouldn't have any problem with adoption.
 

Monkeyman O'Brien

New member
Jan 27, 2012
427
0
0
Melanie McGreevey said:
He/she said what i had intended. A bigot isn't someone who doesn't agree with you, it's someone who wants to assault you because you are different.

And YES trannie IS indeed derogatory to SOME trans people, and a lot of that has to do with it being that last word they hear before being assaulted, or attacked in some way.
Ahh nice. Changing the story to suit yourself now huh.
Yes, a bigot is someone who attacks someone else just for being different. But that is not the scenario we are talking about you and you know it. Getting into a relationship with someone and deliberately hiding a very important bit of information that you know could change how they feel is a disgusting act and in itself is worthy of a beat down. But you just want to change the story to suit your own means so you can accuse others of being bigots.
Thus, we return to the simple fact that you diminish the experiences of those who did nothing to anyone and thus take away one of the few weapons they have.
Hope you feel good about yourself.

As for the trannie thing. Tough shit. Just because a small number of people use it as a insult does not make it so. So they can just learn to deal with it. Especially as they can not even decide on a correct term themselves.

Mortai Gravesend said:
Well if they weren't transsexual you wouldn't be beating them up so it matters. But no, I didn't invalidate anything. Considering that you're pro-hate crime in certain instances I don't think you have room to talk. Considering, you know, you admitted you'd commit one.
Once again, you people trying to change the story to suit yourselves. Fact is if they had not of lied about a very sensative issue before starting a relationship then they would not deserve a beating. As someone else said that issue could be a variety of things including cults, STDs or liking Michael Bay movies.

Kinguendo said:
The first picture doesnt work and the second looks like a woman, kinda like Tina Fey... whats your point? That gay women look like Tina Fey?

Look, you are coming off as incredibly ignorant and intentionally offensive.
The first picture if of a man who looks a lot like a woman. Second picture is of a woman who looks a lot like a man. Which is exactly what you asked. And I could not care less what people think of me. You don't have to when you are right.
 

Agayek

Ravenous Gormandizer
Oct 23, 2008
5,178
0
0
Melanie McGreevey said:
I have a question to those of you that say NOT telling you is a lie...how? It's a choice to unveil bits of a painful past. When you go into a relationship with someone, on that first date, do you describe every sexual encounter you've had, every quirk of your personality, every physical "issue" (be it VD, a cold, etc) you've had?

I am not trying to be argumentative, i am just curious if you expect "full disclosure" from your partner, do you give it back? I realize being trans is a little different, but if you have had regrets, mistakes, trauma happen to you, to you tell the person you're with every minute detail?

if so, good on you!
I dunno about the rest of it, but if I had herpies or AIDS or whatever, I damn well would tell my partner before doing the deed.

You could make all sorts of arguments about bad parallels, but the core concept is the same. You are expecting someone to go in blind, then be fine with it afterwards, and that's generally considered poor manners at best.
 

Gatx

New member
Jul 7, 2011
1,458
0
0
I would say that if I didn't know she was a transgendered person, and found out afterwards, I would keep dating her. Then again I would want to start a family at some point so there will be kinks to work out. And no, adoption would not be an option, gotta spread the genes and all that, you know.

Also, what about options for homosexuals?