ph0b0s123 said:
I wish some people would have higher standards than they do, even if it means being single for a while. There are quite a few who settle for the first person who comes along that they can get together with. Even if that person is not quite suited.
Then they stick with them even though they know they are not ideal, as they are afraid to be single. They stay together with them long enough and think that that is the best they can do, so plump for marriage.
A few years down the road someone comes along who is a lot more suitable and people start having affairs, which lead to the break down of their marriages. Or they work out finally that the person they are with they actually don't like and then things fall apart. Usually by this point their are some kids involved who can be traumatised by the break-up.
If people were a bit more picky about who they were with and weren't so afraid to be single for a while, so better partners had a chance to appear, maybe then divorce would not be so rampant. Just saying....
For me I just have to look at my Dad, on his 3rd marriage and looking for the exit again...
Here's the deal. If your standards are only skin deep then the strength or importance of those standards will be only skin deep. If you main criteria for choosing a potiential mate is based largely on aesthetics then you can be overlooking personality flaws/incompatabilities that will ultimately undermine your relationship. Perhaps lowering your standards in aestetics and RAISING them in personality will result in a relationship with a better chance of lasting. Then again if you suck at judging the quality of a person's character or meet a really good liar you are S.O.L.
I am currently celebrating my 15th anniversary with my partner who is not really my ideal body type. However, that 1st week after I met him, when I thought about how I felt about him and how he felt about me, I got an erection. It was the strangest thing, it was not based on a physical/errotic thought, it was an emotionally rooted response. Anywho, sorry for the TMI.
That among other things told me that this was for real and I should try to ride it out as long as possible.