Poll: Your view on parents spanking their children?

[GundamSentinel]

When used rarely the shock value is mostly enough as a deterrent. My parents only spanked me once or twice in my life. It never really hurt, but it was mostly the shock of that my parents would do that that did the trick. Whatever it was that I was spanked for, I knew never to do it again, and I'm thankful for that.

So yeah, I'd say parents can spank their children, but not as a means to inflict physical pain. Just to let them know that what they are doing is wrong.

 

[ElPatron]

I think I rather see kids getting getting a spank than growing and taking a bullet.

If a parent has to resort to violence then they have already failed.

Because children do not make any dangerous mistake. EVER.

Generally I see the evidence of the supposed benefits of it being given based purely off of anecdotal evidence that doesn't even seem properly analyzed to determine whether credit should be given to the punishment and whether or not there may have been acceptable substitutes.

Guess what. The acceptable substitutes are also defended with anecdotal evidence.

Although I would like to hear about this substitutes. I can't get tired of trying to be a better human.

 

[KiKiweaky]

If some people got a good kicking at an early age we'd have far less morons about the place I'd say

 

[RedDeadFred]

How parents could hit their children baffles me. Children are defenseless, they trust you implicitly, and then you hit them to make them stop their bad behaviour?! Are you a fucking ape or are you a human being?! My parents NEVER hit me. Out of all of my friends, I am closest to my parents. Could be a coincidence but I definitely think that it's a factor.

Seriously, if you spanked an adult because they were doing something you didn't like, they could probably charge you with assault. If you punched someones dog because they were barking and making too much noise, there's another lawsuit. Yet it's totally okay to hit a little kid?! What the fuck!

 

[Dragonclaw]

It is well documented that children who are subjected to physical violence as a method of punishment suffer significant drops in IQ scores similar to that of adult victims of post traumatic stress disorder.

Furthermore, I don't find "violence is a good method of solving problems" to be a great lesson to teach children, especially if you don't even properly explain what the child has done wrong, and MUCH more importantly, WHY it is wrong.

Really? I'm a member of MENSA...so there doesn't seem to be much wrong with my IQ.

 

[Yopaz]

Using violence as a disciplinary action shows your kids that violence can be accepted.

But it IS accepted in appropriate circumstances and with appropriate levels of force.

So I guess you are teaching them the right lesson.

Well, there are laws against violence and it is considered a crime unless it's self defense. Few countries allow violence as a punishment (kids being spanked is the exception).

When kids are being spanked it's not about self defense, which is the accepted form of violence, it's out of anger which is also why so many are sent to jail on assault charges.

I had never thought so many would argue the fact that violence is bad considering the fact that there are laws against it.

I had never thought so many would argue the fact that black and white "always bad" "always good" claims are almost always misguided.

Go back. Read my post. I said violence is OK when it comes to self defense. You ignore the fact that I mentioned something in between and accuse me of thinking black and white. Now can you actually mention one type of incident outside of self defense where violence is accepted by the law?

Go back and read my posts where I give multiple examples. But just to give you one, you can use reasonable force to control those under mental health medical control.

This thread is just starting to circle now, I think I'm bored and out...

There's a big difference between reasonable force and physical violence. In fact in many countries it's even illegal to use force of any kind that isn't self defense if you work with mentally challenged individuals. Also there are 9 pages on this thread, I do not want to hunt out your posts stating when physical violence can be accepted. I want one example where I can't mention a law against it.

Laws differ by country, thus your question is meaningless if it can't be against the law anywhere. By that standard, gay sex is unacceptable.

OK, I am going by laws that are a part of the international rights and laws. These are the same rights that make international organizations try to prevent the executions of homosexuals and rape victims in these countries. However let's play this by your rules then. Can you mention incidents where violence is permitted, now I am talking about violence, not force used to protect people, not force used when arresting someone. Actual physical violence.

That IS a form of physical violence. That's why you get charged with assault and battery if you do it other than during an arrest or other times where you have custodial authority.

Does the exact case of spanking exist? No. But there are lots of rules that apply only to children. The pattern however is force can be used when there are custodial situations (police, medical care, prison, citizens making arrests, guardians of children or adults, etc)

Yeah, those things are all a kind of physical violence. However force used on mentally challenged people is used in either self defense (which I stated from the start was accepted) or in order keep them from hurting themselves or others by accident. The same thing goes for force used while arresting someone, avoiding being hurt and keep others safe.

Those examples are about avoiding pain as much as possible. Spanking kids is causing pain as a form of punishment. Yes, it's impossible to find an exact analogue to spanking, but could you at least find one that isn't the exact opposite?

 

[JWAN]

I think that as time moves on, and more people look on it as unacceptable we see a rise in the number of douchebags in society.

As the Ol Marine Cadence goes "It was good enough for them, then its good enough for me" Amen.

Are there other forms of punishment? Yes. Should they be used? Sure. But spanking a kid instills some actual strength to their moral fiber. If I do this socially unacceptable fopaw again, I will get spanked and humiliated. Therefore, I will refrain from that particular fopaw.

 

[JWAN]

Spanking is simply lazy parenting.


There are better and more effective ways of disciplining children.

Could you provide some examples of alternatives?
I was always grounded, but it wasn't effective or immediate to changing my actions. Time outs didn't work either.

 

[Lurklen]

I think it's useful in certain circumstances mostly as an extreme way to get the childs attention quickly about something dangerous or very bad. In that kind of experience most kids who are old enough to get into trouble but not yet cognizant enough to know they're in danger wont understand any explanation of that danger but they will remember when mommy or daddy shouted and gave them a swat on the backside.

I have five little brothers the older three were all born within a year of each other(a year after the 1st was born came a set of twins.) and it was often my job to look after them, this means that eventually I was often looking after three mobile and hyper toddelers who could move like lightning and seemed determined never to make it to grade school. Our front yard looks onto a street and has no fence, but it has a nice shady tree. Now in the summer it's hot so we would take the boys into the front yard and for some reason all they would want to do is run into traffic. But when we would try to stop them by running in front of them or telling them to stay out of the road they would laugh thinking it was a game. the only thing that would get through was a yell of "NO!" and one swat on the backside. After they became old enough to talk and understand our words the spankings were no longer necessary or allowed.

I'm not advocating beating your kids, much like when you're training an animal that can't understand logic if you're causing pain you're doing it wrong. The point of any physical discipline should only really be to alert the recipient that things have become serious and they need to pay attention now, and even then only if you can't get that across in another way effectivly. If it's goal is to cause pain than it's abuse. Over the knee "I'ma gonna lern you!" spankings were never allowed in my house growing up and no other type of phyisical discipline(slapping, pinching, punching, whipping with a spoon or belt etc.) was allowed either.

I think it goes without saying that any child under two should never ever be spanked or even handled roughly in any way. There is really only a narrow window where I find such behavior useful and even then it should be reserved to keep them from something extreme(hot stove, road, bathroom cupboard, electrical items etc.)and used rarly or it will lose it's effectivness. I live in Canada where it is also illegal to spank children.

 

[Airsoftslayer93]

I think I rather see kids getting getting a spank than growing and taking a bullet.

If a parent has to resort to violence then they have already failed.

Because children do not make any dangerous mistake. EVER.

So a child makes a mistake, and the answer is to spank them? I just don't see the logic.
If you're trying to teach them that that sort of action is dangerous, then there are plenty of alternatives to spanking.
Most situation where spanking occurs, the parent isn't trying to teach the child, but simply punish them, using spanking as a form of control is wrong, and all it does is teach the children that to control someone you use violence.

 

[the_dude_abides]

When I did something wrong as a kid I'd get a cuff round the ear from my Dad and an explanation WHY it was wrong. If I did it again I'd get a cuff or two round the ear and some other suitable punishment based on the severity of the misdeed (grounding etc). I've turned out just fine and I still get along great with my parents.

My point is there has to be some balance between educating children and spanking them when required. Treating children as mini adults all too often leads to spoilt, entitled softies who can't hack the real world and beating the shit out of them leads to them becoming violent thugs just like their father (yeah my wider family is kinda messed up).

 

[ElPatron]

So a child makes a mistake, and the answer is to spank them? I just don't see the logic.

You don't, because you just refuted a strawman.

You said that if it gets to the point parents have to resort to violence, they already failed. Which is not true, my parents must have known a thing or two about parenting. But I remember being a child, and we constantly fuck up despite the education you receive.

using spanking as a form of control is wrong, and all it does is teach the children that to control someone you use violence

Except that is too fucking complex for me to have understood that on my own when I was a child.