Stab a nail into it. Wait, there's more. Tie a rope to the nail. Put the other end of the rope in the trunk of your car, so that the iPad is dangling behind your vehicle. Drive around in circles around the Apple Store.
have your dog poop on it then get a high presure hose and clean it off then stick it in a oven to dry it of then once you did that get a minigun a just empty it on the ipad until you can't see it.
I would never buy one, so I would never physically destroy an iPad, but I would destroy any possibility for it to be 'my' iPad. I would be closing off an entire possible future for that iPad with my decision.
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