Relationship virgins.

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

I'll put it this way... if you're under the age of 40, and you've told yourself most of your adult life "there's no one out there for me" or something along those lines, you will be alone the rest of your life due to self-fulfilling prophecy. The real kicker is most of you who do that are afraid of the word "no". I bet you 20 internet dollhairs that if you were to go to a mall and ask 20 different women to go get coffee with you, at least one of them will say yes. Of course thats if you can suck up your fear long enough to ask the question without caring whether they say yes or no.
Now if you're choosing to be alone because you don't like people I can understand that. Antisocialism is different than fear of women.

Now, OT: Basically the tl:dr version of the above: If you don't put yourself out there, you can't get anything back one way or the other. Risk = reward.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

thanks, mate but this isn't the problem. grilz ain't teh evil. some of the dumb ones are quite nice. (i jest. to some degree.) but i could see past their intellectual and moral imperfection. the main problem is my lazi- and shyness.

The problem I suspect is simpler than that. Being shy suggests a fear of rejection. The laziness suggests that you do not want to make the effort necessary to mitigate the risk inherent in rejection.

There is no solution to this. If you've ever had to take a course in public speaking you'll likely know that you never get over the fear of speaking in front of an audience and instead simply learn how to deal with it better. The same is true of meeting people. Walking across a coffee shop to talk to a girl is just a terrifying now as it was a decade ago and I've done it dozens of times in the intervening years.

But I must ask: do you have any female friends? If so, your best bet at landing a relationship is to take one of them as you wingman (or is that wingwoman - do girls have the equivalent position?). They might be inexperienced as well but at least you have the perspective of someone of the right gender to help you along.

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

Eighteen. Never had anything. Don't ever want anything.
I have covered this a few times before. I am filled with nothing but horror and disgust on the subject of love and romance.

I don't see it as a big deal. Actually, if I manage to make it through the entirety of my life without ever engaging in a romantic relationship with anyone, I will personally throw a fucking celebratory ghost party over my corpse.

But I suppose I can imagine how it could be a little upsetting for people who actually get ronery. I can't say I understand it, but whatever.
Chin up. Go out and do shit. It'll happen when it's meant to happen.

 

[Toomuchcake(WDW)]

Get yourself a wingman, worked for me I had no experience like 2 years ago then I met my mate and we decided that we would help each other get with the girl he wanted, and man it works so well just I mean in your situation look for someone you can trust not to bail on you and will understand your situation, so find someone with a good amount of experience and let him kinda guide you, soon you will have what you want and not feel so awkward around women, also you need to find a place girls go to hang out to meet them. Be more confident, if you see someone on a train don't be afraid to strike up a conversation, don't be embarrassed the likely hood is that you will never see this person again so just roll with it.

Well that's what worked for my anyway good luck with it.

 

[Daveman]

I'm intensely unlikable so, yeah, I've been single forever.

 

[SextusMaximus]

Oh! Oh. See, I thought you meant "relationship" as in "dating for more than a month", not "relationship" as in "holding a girl's hand". I'd offer you advice, but unless you're trying to figure out how to have a series of unfulfilling loveless flings that end within about a week, maybe seek wisdom from someone else.

No no, he was saying that he hadn't help a girl's hand - NEVERMIND being in a relationship. He was using that as an example to show what little he had done with a girl.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I'm wondering how many of you out there have never been in a relationship and are adults (18+) Is this considered weird?

I'm 21 and never even held a girl's hand in a romantic way much less kissed or dated one. I've only asked one girl out and she said she couldn't date. I really liked another girl but she has no interest.
Besides that I've had no social fields to find anyone. (I came from being homeschooled)

How many are like me out there?

I'm the same way, minus the communication and homeschooling. But depending on where you live and/or who you speak to, we would likely be identified as creeps, since few take inexperience well without cringing.

 

[Mutie]

I'm wondering how many of you out there have never been in a relationship and are adults (18+) Is this considered weird?

I'm 21 and never even held a girl's hand in a romantic way much less kissed or dated one. I've only asked one girl out and she said she couldn't date. I really liked another girl but she has no interest.
Besides that I've had no social fields to find anyone. (I came from being homeschooled)

How many are like me out there?

I would tarry not, dude. Though I have had girlfriends in the past, I have never been involved in a true relationship. This being considered, I always make strong bonds with female friends which, on at least one occasion, has lead to complications in terms of mutual feelings. For many people, relationships are a Hel of a lot more than just a female to mate with: It stems heavily into the human desire to work socially and, for people who have difficulty socialising and conforming to the norms of social activities (such as artists, gamers and, for want of a better word, geeks), this is made more difficult as the relationship we seek will often be one far more co-dependant that those of others. In that sense, we dream of finding someone who completes us so that we may be more one entity than two.

You will find someone, it is only a matter of time. What you need to do is begin moving out of your comfort zone. Do not be afraid to display yourself to the world and there will always be people who take interest in you: It is simply a matter of finding them and letting a friendship or relationship develop.

Also, don't think about it too much. Look at how much I have thought on this topic and then take into consideration that I am single. If there's a sure fire way to ruin anything, it's to think about it too much (believe me, I know).

 

[Metal Brother]

I was 18 before I ever dated or kissed a girl - don't worry and don't listen to the "get yourself a hooker" crowd. The important thing is to get hobbies that will put you into regular contact with girls you might like, to be yourself, and to LIKE yourself. With those things in place, life usually just looks after itself...

Getting a prostitute is actually a viable suggestion. A more PC (and legal) option would be a sexual surrogate, but those are expensive as shit.

When it comes down to it, young 20 something females typically don't handle sexual handicapped and socially awkward young men very well.

Than again, he could always just troll high schools for young girls who don't know any better (NOTE: Do not troll high schools for dates).

The hobbies thing is, however, and excellent idea for finding ladies.

There are many prostitutes that will understand (And even cook you dinner!).

What?
Free dinner you say?
Looks like its hooker time!

Its not so much free as it is a... well, imagine you're not really buying sex, but an extremely expensive dinner with a really nice 'dessert.'

So just like a regular date.
Except an increased chance of an STD. But only slightly.

Eh.

Usually, the kind of prostitutes I'm talking about are not street roaming, cracked out hookers, but are home dwelling, 5-9 working women who are just making a living in a way that beats the hell out of my job.

Movie hookers are not the only kind of hookers. And there is nothing to be ashamed of in seeing a prostitute (Unless she's a *****).

If all you're looking for is sex, then you may have a point. But this isn't what I took from the original post. It seems to me that he is interested in a relationship - a meaningful bond between two people, and not just help getting off.

I would argue that seeing a prostitute would actually be a problem down the road. Assuming that the original poster isn't some type of horrific misanthrope that no woman would ever want (and this wasn't the impression I got) then his having his first sexual experience be a professional one, he will have that much more difficulty interacting normally with a non-paid sexual partner in the future...

 

[Casual Shinji]

I'm 20 years old, and have ever even been on a date, let alone had my first kiss, even.

Try being 28 and never having had a date before... *sigh*

I'm just worried the fact that if I ever do get a date, won't it be weird if it ever comes up that I've never kissed anyone or ever been on a date? I'm 21, most people have had 2-3 dating relationships and are having the most social time of their life.
These are the things I worry about. As far as relationships, I think I'd be an awesome BF to some luckly lady, problem is I can't find anyone I'm interested in, and when I do I can't act on it. I just overthink it and end up scaring myself out of it.

Basically my situation there.

The longer I go without a relationship, the harder it's going to get.

It sure is.

I've been without female companionship for so long, I probably wouldn't even notice that a girl liked me if she stared me in the face with LOVE - YOU written on her eyelids. I think there was one time when a girl was actively flirting with me back in high school, but I was too fucking insecure to act up on it.

I usually keep telling myself; "Oh well, I guess there's worse things in the world then being dateless". But it still sucks though.

 

[Pariah87]

Yeah OP I'm very similar. What little I did have at one point at least lead to sex so it's not all bad. My problem mainly lies in that I have no self worth. I don't have looks, money, charm or anything else to offer a woman. As a result, I don't bother, which is good seeing as the type of girls I could possibly get, I have no interest in. I know the saying is "You don't learn to drive in a brand new Jag, you get an old shitheap so you can make a few mistakes" but damnit I'd like something at least mid range.

 

[Baldry]

I had my first girlfriend and kiss a couple of months ago when I was 15.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

20. Halfway through final (second) year of college. Never had a girlfriend before. That's probably not going to change anytime soon.

Does it bother me? Not really. It did at one point, but now, between my part-time job, classes, stuff I need to do to make sure I have a job once I graduate (like getting an internship), MMA training, I just don't think I'd have the time. Not to mention everyone else's schedule is different, so if there was someone I was interested in, there's the possibility that they'd have to work during the only times when I'm not busy.

Still, there are times when I do things that I think would be awesome to share with a girlfriend. Like going out for a run and thinking "man, this would be fun to do with a girlfriend" or making food and thinking, "Man, I made such an awesome meal, too bad I have no one to cook for besides me."

 

[Ossian]

If all you're looking for is sex, then you may have a point. But this isn't what I took from the original post. It seems to me that he is interested in a relationship - a meaningful bond between two people, and not just help getting off.

I would argue that seeing a prostitute would actually be a problem down the road. Assuming that the original poster isn't some type of horrific misanthrope that no woman would ever want (and this wasn't the impression I got) then his having his first sexual experience be a professional one, he will have that much more difficulty interacting normally with a non-paid sexual partner in the future...

Yeah, what you said, I'm not looking for sex, I'm looking for a relationship, I'm a hopeless romantic

 

[delanofilms]

I "dated" the first time when I was 12 or 13, had sex first time when I was 14-15 and have had about six girls, that could be called as actual girlfriends.

Many here I think, if I remember the last topic like this.

I was 18 before I had sex, so I can kind of see your problem... but you've never dated at all? It's been three years since home schooling, guy. Get on out there.

I don't often suggest this... but you may need to higher a hooker. You're way behind on the game, and dating will be hard if your acting like a 12 year old, blushing from physical contact. There are many prostitutes that will understand (And even cook you dinner!). I suggest you find one.

This is a good advice. Just to get used to physical contact and social interaction with someone of the opposite sex.

Virginity is not a virtue. I'm not telling it's something terribly bad either, but the whole "waiting for the right person" is just a load of crap.

Well I'm 17 and I've never dated/boned/kissed anyone before. I have, however, had most all of my friends be female, and have had social and physical contact with them and I really don't consider this a problem. I refuse to date someone that I don't have a connection with, or who doesn't stimulate me intellectually and at this age both are hard to come by (especially the latter). I have no problem with waiting to be with someone that I feel comfortable with, and that is most certainly not a "load of crap."

 

[Evilsanta]

I am in the same boat as many of the poster here are.

19 years old and I have never gotten a hug from girl that is not a relative. I would try to get a girlfriend, heck even a female friend would be nice but as I'm as social as a rock with the social skills as one too... I don't think that is going to happen. Atleast at the moment.

 

[delanofilms]

Yeah OP I'm very similar. What little I did have at one point at least lead to sex so it's not all bad. My problem mainly lies in that I have no self worth. I don't have looks, money, charm or anything else to offer a woman. As a result, I don't bother, which is good seeing as the type of girls I could possibly get, I have no interest in. I know the saying is "You don't learn to drive in a brand new Jag, you get an old shitheap so you can make a few mistakes" but damnit I'd like something at least mid range.

Jesus Christ it's like reading in a mirror after the first two sentences.

 

[Ossian]

I am in the same boat as many of the poster here are.

19 years old and I have never gotten a hug from girl that is not a relative. I would try to get a girlfriend, heck even a female friend would be nice but as I'm as social as a rock with the social skills as one too... I don't think that is going to happen. Atleast at the moment.

With an avatar like that who would want to? jk

 

[RagnorakTres]

Eh, don't worry about it. I'm in exactly the same boat as you are (with the caveat that I don't care). You're just experiencing the deep-seated need for physical companionship and (eventually) reproduction. I am too, I just recognize it as a base need and dismiss it as ignorable for the moment.

In my case, it's mostly self-inflicted. There are plenty of attractive women who consider me attractive and some of them have even approached me. I turned them away for a variety of reasons, not least that I refuse to have sex with anyone I'm not willing to spend the next 18 years, 9 months supporting (I don't care how unlikely a pregnancy may be, I don't take chances.).

There have been five women in my life whom I have found sufficiently intellectually stimulating to consider a relationship with. All five of them failed my acid test (a series of values they must share in order to be happy within a relationship with me; yes, in order for them to be happy, and yes, the acid test varies from person to person) and therefore I remained quite happily in the "friend zone."

There is no reason to ever be in a relationship that you know either party will be unsatisfied in and, if you haven't found anyone sufficiently interesting, you haven't found anyone sufficiently interesting. My uncle went almost 50 years without being in a relationship and, when he met his fiance, it took 3 weeks to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she was right for him.

To be able to maintain a relationship, you must first understand both yourself and the other person. I do this within the framework of the Myers/Briggs Test (obviously imperfect, but workable and, honestly, I'm smart enough to recognize when it fails), but other people don't necessarily do it at all and I'd like to think that everyone would be a little happier if they did.

 

[Diligent]

I'm 20 years old, and have ever even been on a date, let alone had my first kiss, even.

Try being 28 and never having had a date before... *sigh*

I'm just worried the fact that if I ever do get a date, won't it be weird if it ever comes up that I've never kissed anyone or ever been on a date? I'm 21, most people have had 2-3 dating relationships and are having the most social time of their life.
These are the things I worry about. As far as relationships, I think I'd be an awesome BF to some luckly lady, problem is I can't find anyone I'm interested in, and when I do I can't act on it. I just overthink it and end up scaring myself out of it.

Basically my situation there.

The longer I go without a relationship, the harder it's going to get.

It sure is.

I've been without female companionship for so long, I probably wouldn't even notice that a girl liked me if she stared me in the face with LOVE - YOU written on her eyelids. I think there was one time when a girl was actively flirting with me back in high school, but I was too fucking insecure to act up on it.

I usually keep telling myself; "Oh well, I guess there's worse things in the world then being dateless". But it still sucks though.

Nah, there's not.
I'm in the same boat but I just turned 27, and all I could think on my birthday was "hoo-fucking-ray, another year single."

Yes, I'm bitter and miserable, and yes I've asked girls out and only ever been rejected, and yes with that track record I realize it's not them, it's totally something wrong with me...and that makes me feel even more like shit.

Now I'm fucking angry after this thread.