Retail jobs: the dumbest customer question you've been asked?

[Kroxile]

Seriously, compulsory year in retail does wonders for human empathy >_>

Which is why I have none or very little depending on the day and whether or not I've had my coffee, lol.

I'm a manager at a McDonald's and the number of idiotic things people say or do could fill a book.

It isn't really a question but this was probably the funniest thing (in recent memory) that has happened:

We had just got done closing the store (cleaning, putting stuff away, preparing for the breakfast crew) and i had forgotten my ice scraper so I had to sit in my car while the defrosters thawed my windows out. Then this guy pulls up into the drive-thru.. with the store dark and all the lights off, including the outside lights, and he sits there. I sat and watched him start getting mad by the way he was moving about in his car it appeared he was yelling at his girlfriend, passenger, or whatever and then I could hear him yelling at the speaker "HELLO? HELLO?"

So I sit here laughing and then the guy pulls back and forward again and starts yelling at the speaker some more before he backs out and goes to the other lane and repeats the process before finally driving off.

 

[hewhocommunes]

My story actually happened yesterday to my cousin. She took a call from a spanish only speaking customer, while none of us in the store speak more than a phrase or maybe two of Spanish. After a minute or so of fumbled conversation she determined that the customer wanted to pay the overdue balance on their account. After several more frustrating minutes, and comments of "No, the account numbers for our accounts are only 6 digits long, not 13..." and "No that the customer's phone number, and last name provided weren't pulling up an account of any kind..." It took my cousin saying our company name 5 times in the course of the ten minute phone call, as well as having to ask of the child, who had replaced the lady in hopes of lowering the communication barrier, point blank "None of your family plays a musical instrument right?" for them to realize that they had called a musical instrument retail store rather than Comcast.

For non US residents Comcast is an Internet Service Provider among other things.

We are not Comcast, despite being in the same building. Sort of similar to a strip mall set up.

This baffles me for two reasons. First, I understand a bit of confusion with a language barrier, However if you know how to work a phone well enough to place a call, why not use the phone number on the bill your holding? I know it has the phone number on it you need to call to make that payment.

Secondly: for arguments sake, even if that bill doesn't have the phone number,( it does though.)
why would you then look up a phone number for a company which despite being in the same building has its own enclosed section of the building which does not overlap in any way with the company you are trying to reach, Rather than looking up their number instead?

 

[geK0]

I was working as a cashier at a grocery store

I am weighing some nappa (japanese cabbage)

Customer yells "NO! you're weighing the heavy part!" and turns it on it's side

"Mam, the cabbage weighs the same on it's side"

"No! look, the number is lower! you're trying to rip me off"

Apparently cabbages weigh less when they're oriented on their side and everything I've taken as common sense for all these years is invalid. Next time I weigh myself on my bathroom scale, I'll try laying on my side.

 

[DMShade]

I got this a lot working a concession stand. Three Cups for Popcorn, Easily distinguishable as larger or smaller in comparison to the others. Prices right Above, Small, Medium Large.

"Which one is a Medium?"

Also...when I worked there, apparently there was a Size I was never educated on. A size all the customers knew about but I was never taught, as a cashier or a stand leader.

That size was known as "Thing". "Can I get a thing of nachos/popcorn/pop?"

 

[smileyboybob]

I think mine takes the cake. I've literally only been working in retail for six months (this being my first job, and all) so this incident is still fresh in my mind.
I was still a young, fresh trainee and the manager felt that I could handle the job of making the pet food look good. So there I was in the cat food aisle when:

"Excuse me."

"Yes, how can I help you?"

"I want to get some cat food for my neighbors cat. I don't think he feeds it enough so I want to give him extra food."

"How nice of you, and what a good neighbor, too. Any normal cat food will probably do." (which i thought was excellent advice).

Here's the part with the STUPIDEST QUESTION IN THE WORLD:
"Now, I don't know much about cats. Will any of this food kill the cat?"

My mouth dropped for a second, but i managed to compose myself and tell her that, no, none of these foods will, in fact, kill the cat. Call me crazy, but I think that even if you don't know anything about cats, you should at least know how EATING WORKS.

 

[joshthor]

I get the whole "do you work here" alot - i wear a vest with the companies name on it.
today someone asked me "do you carry lunch bags" - I work at a movie/music/video game/comic/book store (hastings).
oh, and yesterday a mentally challenged person walked in and immediately asked me if i could call their mom - he didnt know the number - but he expected me to.

I get alot of people asking why thier accounts have been banned - the store i work at buys all sorts of media and unfortunately we get alot of people stealing movies from walmart and selling them to us. its incredibly obvious when someone brings in all the last 3 weeks major releases blu ray copies (including the ones that were released that day) still shrink wrapped. or when the star wars blu ray set was released we had the same people trying to bring in a copy a day (we ended up with about 13 used copies in like 4 days)

oh, and the classic gem: do you guys have a redbox machine. we are a rental store.

most of the memorable stuff i deal with are assholes trying/succeeding to steal. i was ringing up a wii u for a guy and he tried darting with it. i caught him and he chucked it at me.

or the dumbest theif ever came in TODAY set up an account with their drivers licence (name, address, phone number, email, drivers licence number) then their friend stole a bunch of stuff and they were the getaway driver. i of course called the police with every bit of thier information, and recordings of them on 6 different cameras.

 

[Creator002]

Not really questons, but I work as a call centre agent for public transport in Victoria (Australia). I'm trained in assisting people with timetable information for the entire state (including some of South Australia and New South Wales) as well as making bookings for the regional trains and busses. Never-the-less, I have at least 3 customers a day who will not tell me where they are travelling from.
"I would like to go from here to Bairnsdale."
"Would 'here' be Melbourne?"
"No."
"Where are you traveling from?"
"Y'now. From the post office."
"The post office in which town?"
"Warnambool, of course!"

There's also customers who tell me the line they want to travel on instead of the station they want to get off at, leading me to give the wrong information or having to restart an entire booking, thus altering the price.
*completing booking* OK. So, that's Melbourne to Bairnsdale on-"
"What? I want to go to Sale, not Bairnsdale!"
"Didn't you say to Bairnsdale?"
"I said the Bairnsdale train."
"Did you say to Sale?"
"No."
Oh, sorry. Didn't realise I was meant to read your mind.

 

[Fuzzed]

Worked at Walmart in electronics back in 06 had a person ask if we Nintendo games at first I thought they meant game cube or Wii but they meant NES.

At least that person had class

 

[Mauler]

When i was on internship at computer parts store(or computer chop shop(used parts and all)) a coustumer (dude was like 50 y.o.) said he wanted a refund because his "computer wasnt" working like in he saw in tv... Guess what he showed me? A computer flatscreen monitor... Not an iMac or an alternative but just a plane monitor whithout anything... I had to argue whith him about a "coumputer" he brought about for 2 hours and in the end i sold him one and never saw him again...

 

[hardpixelrain]

I was a cashier for a year at Target (basically a higher-class Walmart).

The most infuriating question/statement, by far, that I received on a weekly basis, when having difficulty scanning an item or locating the barcode, was this: "Oh, if it doesn't scan, that means it's free, right?"

Every one of them deserves a punch in the face.

OHGAWD. YOU ARE SO HUMOROUS THERE IS NO WAY I HAVENT HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE.

 

[lechat]

Here's the part with the STUPIDEST QUESTION IN THE WORLD:
"Now, I don't know much about cats. Will any of this food kill the cat?"

My mouth dropped for a second, but i managed to compose myself and tell her that, no, none of these foods will, in fact, kill the cat. Call me crazy, but I think that even if you don't know anything about cats, you should at least know how EATING WORKS.

you would think but my cat has a condition where if he eats certain cat foods they will kill him, we will get a fair bit of warning before he dies but in a case like that it is a valid question

 

[BeastofShadow]

Working in the frozen meat section of a super market. A girl comes up to me with a family pack of mince and asks me "Would this be enough to feed my family?" No other info. After just being baffled for a good 10 seconds I managed to ask how big her family was.

 

[Mister Eff]

I work as a barman/waiter in a restaurant and I get some real dumbasses sometimes.

"What's the difference between the prawn cocktail and the prawn and crab cocktail?"
".... One's got crab"

"Why can't you serve me one last beer?"
"The final bell rang 20 minutes ago and I'm about to walk out the door."
"Just one!"
"There are no tills downstairs, all the money is upstairs and we can't take any more stock"
"I have the exact change!"

Dealing with drunk idiots is more annoying than regular idiots.

 

[Sku1c]

Does that happen alot in European countries? Using a English as a langue to speak to people from other countries, even though it is neither of your native tounge, because it is a commonly learned foreign langue I mean.

It has more to do with the Dutch language not being taught in neighboring countries. Plus we're taught the English language starting in the 4/5th grade along with tv/internet exposure to the language. On the other hand, it might be that, as a country, we've gained some renown as speakers of foreign languages

 

[lunavixen]

I work in a store that sells sex toys and lingerie, how much time do you have?

Oh do tell

snip

You're not alone mate, I've never left Australia and I sometimes forget when the State of Origin is on (mostly because I don't care about sport)

aaaaand shifting gears for a second...

I could fill a modest paperback with the dumb questions i've been asked over the years

One lady brought a frozen chicken up to my register and asked "do they get any bigger?" I responded with "No ma'am they're dead"

The oh-so traditional "If it doesn't scan it's free" chestnut, no lady, it's really not.

There are a few more I'd like to post, but i might get in trouble for some of them, so i'm not going to.

 

[Da Orky Man]

Does that happen alot in European countries? Using a English as a langue to speak to people from other countries, even though it is neither of your native tounge, because it is a commonly learned foreign langue I mean.

It has more to do with the Dutch language not being taught in neighboring countries. Plus we're taught the English language starting in the 4/5th grade along with tv/internet exposure to the language. On the other hand, it might be that, as a country, we've gained some renown as speakers of foreign languages

Something that I shall forever be envious of. Sure, growing up in an English speaking country (UK) may mean that my first language is the best for travelling, but it also means that its very difficult to learn a second language. You have little motivation to do so.

 

[Madner Kami]

you would think but my cat has a condition where if he eats certain cat foods they will kill him, we will get a fair bit of warning before he dies but in a case like that it is a valid question

That may well be, that your cat has an allergy of sorts or so, however that dude apparently didn't even know whether the cat in question has any conditions at all. How on earth should a shopkeeper know then, if a given cat - which he had never met, nor seen, nor heard about - has any illnesses of any kind? You'd think asking the cat-owner such a question is a slightly brighter idea, because it could actually lead somewhere, instead to a facepalm.

 

[Blazingdragoon04]

When I was in high school, I worked at a convenience store that doubled as a sub shop. Plenty of dumb questions and requests, but none topped this guy.

It started off simple enough; all he wanted way to buy a bag of pretzels. A decent sized bag, probably about 3 bucks worth, one you might bring to a party.

Now, we didn't have an electronic register, so I had to ring up the price manually so I move in to take it and read the price. He stops me halfway and says he would like to use a coupon. We didn't tend to accept most coupons, but I still had to see it to be safe, so I ask him to give me his coupon. He proceeds to tear the coupon that was stuck onto the bag of pretzels that he hadn't even bought yet and hands it to me like it's no big deal. I try to explain to him that you have to actually buy the bag first in order to use the coupon, and he gets confused. I then look at the coupon further and it is actually for some kind of mail in rebate involving proofs of purchase and they'll mail you a coupon later on.

He gets visibly mad, tells me I'm not doing my job right and storms out. I think I had some brain damage from the stupid coming off of him for the rest of the day.

 

[Blizzarded Soul]

I get these all the time working in a toy shop.
Some of them include people asking if we sell cigarettes pet food was another good one.
And although they aren't technically questions we get customers who flat out refuse to acknowledge that a product is not faulty. Most recently a woman brought back a paper pellet gun saying that it didnt fire 30 feet. I tested it right in front of her then measured out the distance it fired this pellet WITH A FRICKING TAPE MEASURE and sure enough it fired a little over 30 foot. This did not seem to be enough as she came up with other stupid excuses about how the product was faulty till I turned around and said 'Madam the product is not faulty you have seen me test it there is nothing else I can do' and she just stormed off spouting about how I was in violation of her rights.

 

[Lucifiel]

Does that happen alot in European countries? Using a English as a langue to speak to people from other countries, even though it is neither of your native tounge, because it is a commonly learned foreign langue I mean.

The languages in Europe are extremely diverse and the cases of people not speaking the language of a neighboring country are actually really frequent.
In my country, for example, you learn foreign languages of international circulation, most frequent being English, French and German. I'm not counting here the minorities, who also study their maternal languages in school.

So yeah, I also, when going to another country (so far I've been to Hungary, Austria, Germany, The Czech Republic, Italy and Greece - all with different languages: even Austria and Germany), first ask if they speak English. Then go through German, French and Italian. If all those fail me, I resort to pointing, gesticulation and drawing.


Back on topic, even though I never worked in retail, I had some experiences with people randomly coming to me and asking me whether the store had a particular size for whatever shoes they were holding. I told them that I didn't work there and after staring at me for a few minutes, they went away.

Also, I was at a restaurant at one point and there were some foreigners at the table next to us. The menu was not in the English language and the waitress was trying to tell them the ingredients of a particular dish but she couldn't remember the English word for one of the ingredients. She came to our table and asked if any of us knew how to say "busuioc" in English. I told her it was "basil". Not really stupid but kind of weird.