Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[UltraDeth]

Granted, you're encased in ice

I wish I had every rock and metal album released in the recent century

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Every one of them explodes after the first time you listen to them.

I wish for more wishes.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, those wishes stabs you directly in both the heart and brain...

I wish After Earth had a much better ending!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, at the cost of a good narrative

I wish for a plate of Piranha with chips

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the Piranha's not sedated, since it can breath/act on land, and the "chips" are American potato chips...

I wish Eggman new what "PINGAS" meant!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now he hates it

I wish I could get Commander Shepard posthumously promoted to Captain

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, at that point, all of his crew mates must be part of the Reaper...

I wish Kratos got his normal life back!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, now the God of War series never happened

I wish my idea of the perfect ending of Mass Effect 3 is canon in the next game

(Incidentally, my perfect idea is High EMS Synthesis)

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted, but everyone now hates you for it.

I wish the Colorado Rockies would win the World Series in my lifetime.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

you come up with a good avatar, only to have it get you banned.

I wish for inner peace.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but it makes you indifferent to all things

I wish I could draw album covers

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they make the Mega Man box art look like a da Vinci masterpiece!

I wish I was asleep 5 hours ago!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, Now you've slept in

I wish I could write my social phobia into a horror story

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, M. Night's adapting them as we speak...

I wish the cow said "Mooove, *****! Get out the way!"

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it said it to you

I wish I could meet a girl like Pinkie Pie

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, she's goes crazy and reenacts the fanfic Cupcakes with you...

I wish I knew about Be Cool, Scooby-Doo! sooner!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but it reduces your intrigue

I wish I had a cybernetic eye

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, to a surgical "mishap", not only are you 100% irreversibly blind, but also the cybernetic eye doesn't even work...

I wish I had a not-a-comeback-style comeback!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, but it's still interpreted as a comeback

I wish I had battle trophies from the Chaos Marines

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, they look like shit... and are made of 100% shit...

I wish the hullabaloo would continue!