Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Drake the Dragonheart]

They try building a nest in your house instead.

I wish this monstrosity did not exist.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_giant_hornet

 

[UltraDeth]

They have some weird secret about those LEGO and refuse to let you have them, hiding them in new places.

I wish people didn't get outraged by the most trivial things.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. You went to the 6th circle of hell instead.

I wish everyone would always look on the bright side of life.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, your next sleep will be permanent by any means necessary... *cracks knuckles*

I wish all generations "get it" simultaneously!

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

"it" is actually herpes.

I wish the National High School Finals Rodeo would go away and never come back.

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, everyone chooses to die.

I wish to make rule 34.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

STD's exist because of humans, humanity is erased from existence.

I wish I could remember that awesome wish I had for this thread.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, it's literally ruined by trying to remember it in the first place...

I wish my friend told me earlier that he had feelings for me!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, he goes into detail about what he wants to do to you, it's very graphic.

I wish I knew what to do with my life.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

You are struck with the realization that all of the events in your life lead up to the opportunity of you being employed as a sentient mannequin at the local second hand shop.

I wish all human societies were ideal meritocracies.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, only ignorant idiots end up with ALL the power...

I wish I did the Chop Suey dance!

 

[UltraDeth]

Granted, it's so bad everyone commits a self-righteous suicide.

I wish to face a God of war in combat.

 

[FPLOON]

Granted, the fantasy is too grand to not contain without brutality, so it's implodes out of existence...

I wish to deactivate the bomb!