Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Carrie Underwood's weight gain causes mass suicides among her fans. (yes I am ruining my own wish)

I wish instead of the Wii fit Trainer Nintendo had added Bomber-man to smash brothers.

 

[Level 7 Dragon]

Granted. He is quickly removed for negative assossiations to terrorism.

I wish america had Bernie Sanders as president

 

[UltraDeth]

He gets impeached for treason.

I wish my house had a private underground monorail that connected to everywhere in England.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. The maintenance costs cause you to go broke.

I wish you could fix stupid.

 

[UltraDeth]

Bullets.

I wish non-biodegradables could be atomized.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

Granted. The "atomization" leads to an atomic explosion.

I wish I was a Kung Fu master.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

I have to save the world over and over.

I wish Pete Morelli and the crew of cross-eyed dumbass officials from sunday night's game would be stuck in a cage for 12 hours with a bunch of monkeys experiencing explosive diarrhea.

 

[Morsomk_v1legacy]

Granted, you're stuck in there with them.

I wish for pancakes.

 

[UltraDeth]

They're off.

I wish the meaning of life was obvious.

 

[Extra-Ordinary]

Granted, but it's the kind of truth you wish you didn't know.

I wish I could connect with people better.

 

[UltraDeth]

Assimilation in progress.

I wish fear and depression didn't exist.

 

[UltraDeth]

God knows how many memes, copycats and internet debates ensue.

I wish reincarnation was real.

 

[UltraDeth]

Butt-huggers are in their place.

I wish to die a George Cross recipient.

 

[JohnZ117]

Granted, here is your paint bucket.

I wish for free internet service.

 

[UltraDeth]

With a limited package.

I wish developers had full creative control of their works.

 

[Drake the Dragonheart]

She is hated in equals amounts by the exact same people giving said respect.

I wish all of you would have a very merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, happy? Kwanzaa (What is the greeting for Kwanzaa? someone help me out here.) Happy holidays, and a Happy New Year!

 

[UltraDeth]

Everyone you didn't mention doesn't get the same good fortune.

I wish being a hero was as glorious as fiction makes out.