Ruin-A-Wish Foundation.

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. But a Yoshi ninjas the cookie from you. Too bad all that work was for nothing.

I wish grandma would stop raping me. I mean, it was kinda cool at first, but that woman has more stamina than I thought possible. o.o

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Pre-digested and everything for your convenience.

I wish for a popsicle.

 

[cryogeist]

Granted iy taste AWESOME until you realized its poison and DIE
i wish i knew if there was an after life

 

[Nopodop]

Granted, you have been given a compulsory eternal tour of hell.
I wish for a blender-proof kitten.

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

Granted, but you die from the perfect moment involved in eating it.

I wish I was never ill again.

 

[kdread1]

Granted, but to make sure you never catch anything again, you have an eternal case of Irritable Bowels Syndrome.

I wish that I didn't have to sleep.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted, but now you are followed around by people that sing you lullabies.

I wish for a life supply of cake.

 

[Valkyrie101]

Granted. It's a very short life.

I wish for the cookie monster to be my bodyguard.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but he eats all cookies you receive from the internet. No exceptions.

I wish for a gigantor.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Gigantor has been infected by Skynet.

I wish for a zombie apocalypse...

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Zombie kitten apocalypse is a go!

I wish to be a ghost!

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted. Though you are forever stuck to Whoopie Goldberg.

I wish I owned a yacht.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. It has a fairly large hole in the side though. Hope that isn't a problem.

I wish someone would stab me in the foot.

 

[Snowden's Secret]

Granted, but the wound becomes infected & swells to epic proportions, rendering it useless and forcing you to adopt a ridiculous sideways-walk for the rest of your life.

I wish I had a new pair of glasses.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted. Hope you like your prescription strong because these babies could see a spec of dust on the moon. Good luck avoiding headaches.

I wish for more wishes!

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted, here they are. [http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2499/3768693415_3c67ae6a30.jpg]

[sub]Girl not included.[/sub]

Not granted, wish disqualified for being invisible.

I wish for that girl.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Curses!

I'll grant your wish, but she is resistant to the idea. And she likes kicking people in the sensitive areas.

I wish to be invisible.

 

[darth.pixie]

Granted but you have to run around naked. And you're blind since the light waves aren't hitting your retina.

I wish my zombie crab would die already.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Granted, but you didn't realize how much you would miss your undead crustacean. Your existence is now empty and hollow.

I wish for radiation poisoning.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Granted but you do not gain superpowers, you merely get critically ill for about 3 years.

I wish for a Ditto.