Say something to an inanimate object.

Kapri

New member
Jul 20, 2011
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Dear Phoenix (my X-Box 360),

You're a trooper. Really, you are. You survived my previous room mate who left you on all day, every day, and you survived overheating problems for half a year.

Sure your disc drive is jenky, but dammit you try your hardest and you always come through for me in the end... well, almost.

Thank you for hanging in there, buddy.

Your friend,

Ivanov
 

Ljs1121

New member
Mar 17, 2011
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Dear Gamecube:

Words can't describe the love I feel for you. You've been there for me for something like ten years now, always sticking with me through thick and thin, ready and willing to provide me with hours of entertainment whenever I felt like it. You, good sir, are now and will always be my favorite console of all time.

Sincerely,

Logan
 

Ectoplasmicz

New member
Nov 23, 2011
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Chairman Miaow said:
Ectoplasmicz said:
We all own inanimate objects. We must. We also all have inanimate objects which we cherish and love. Some of us would love to say something to let them know you love them.

So if you could say something to an inanimate object of yours (or not) what would it be?

Mine would go something like this.

To my dearest Nokia,

You were my first phone, and my first true love. You battled through thick and thin with me and could not thank you enough. You survived the most outrageous things, getting throws against walls and such, but you always stayed alive to me.

I still remember the day you died. You were dropped in a fire, I ran to your rescue. I took you out, and even though you were melted, you found a way to stay alive. For me. But your condition got worse. Your melted body had melted over your charging slot. You were deteriorating fast. I knew when you died. I try to turn you on but you just couldn't. You were gone. But I knew your pain had ceased. I knew you were in a better place.

You did everything to stay alive. To stay with me .

I think of you everyday.

I miss you.

Love,

Ectoplasmicz
Was it by any chance a 3310? those things were invincible.
I'm not 100% sure about the particular model, but I certainly know of it's indestructible capabilities.
 

M0rp43vs

Most Refined Escapist
Jul 4, 2008
2,249
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Dear guitar,

I'm sorry if I'm a little rough fingering you but that's no reason to snap and cut me, is it?
 

StormShaun

The Basement has been unleashed!
Feb 1, 2009
6,948
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This is something to my beloved Computer.


Dear Computer.

I have always been the best of friends with you. Except the other day when the crappy Australian internet disconnected and kicked you multiple times.

That wasn't your fault, it was the damn internet's fault. I hope you can please forgive me and let me keep playing on you and keep having fun with you.

Your Master.
StormShaun.

P.S Forgive me when I abandon your ass, but your memory will be always with me.


I felt sad typing that up. D:
 

Treblaine

New member
Jul 25, 2008
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Xbox, my old awkward friend.

Well I say "friend" but friend in the modern Facebook sense, more of an acquaintance, I know you very little, I can recall the date I met you but good memories hanging out with real friends (on Xbox Live), you've been kind of a drag.

You invited other people to the party I never wanted to know and you were kind of a jerk asking us to pay saying you were giving us a good deal but you weren't. I know this is partially pressure from your dad (Mr Microsoft) but it's you're party and normally we'd take care of the trouble-makers but you've constantly dropped the ball on this one.

I've been hanging with you less and less now, and frankly you are getting too needy, always with the installs and patches yet still with crashes and bugs, and then just plain not working if if have the wrong signal output for my TV.

Well when I met you you were cool, easy going and made everything easy.

But now my old friend, my oldest friend who NEVER gave up on me, good old PC. Yeah, he's a handful but you know what... YOU are a handful! You keep wanting more and giving less. PC is giving more and asking for less. Indie revolution, Free-to-play, mods like Day-Z, Mann vs Machine, and graphics that don't pander to shininess but complexity of gameplay with high framerate that you don't seem to even understand.

Maybe we should hang out with different people from now on.

Cya.
 

AbstractStream

New member
Feb 18, 2011
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Dear alarm clock,

Thank you for sticking by me all these years even though I've gotten quite rough with you on some occasions. Couldn't you have a nicer sound though? I mean seriously, the one you ha---ah, no matter. We won't get into this discussion again, it's not your fault. Anyway, many thanks.

Love you (some days),
-Jay
 

Alcamonic

New member
Jan 6, 2010
747
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Hi Galaxy,

Your inability to understand my Swedish accent makes your "oh so useful" Siri-copy useless. You can apparently understand french... no further comment is necessary.

Sincerely,

Your disappointed master.

---------------------------------------------

Dear computer,

You have been with me for so long. Been together through the moistly forest of Crysis and killing a giant made out of rock in Darksiders II. Good times, good times.

Now don't die on me! So many more sweet games incoming this fall!

Sincerely,

Someone who could easily butcher you for scrap metal and electronic parts.
 

Xian_Frost

New member
Jul 18, 2010
52
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Dear vending machine at work,

Why do I have to restock you? I'm tiny and you're like twice my size. Also you're very picky about the type of dollars you want. I just want my soda to help me through a slow day.

- Frost
 

ElPatron

New member
Jul 18, 2011
2,130
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Hey guns,

Stop killing all of dem children. Nobody would die if it weren't for you, evil things.
 

WhyBotherToTry

New member
Jun 22, 2011
550
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Dearest Samsung,
You were my first touchscreen phone, and by far the best phone I've ever had. Your camera was unmatched, your screen responsive and you were slim and easily transported. You traveled all around the world with me, from Utah to India and all points in between. Though your screen grew scratched and your speaker grew dull, you were always with me. Though sadly your battery began to fail you. You just couldn't hold your charge on those big nights out anymore, but you were with me through some of the greatest moments of my life, and I do not blame you. You are greatly missed.
Love,
WhyBotherToTry
 

bulbasaur765

New member
May 1, 2010
505
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Dear Air Conditioner,

Despite your ability to maintain 70 degrees Fahrenheit temperature for the bedroom, I still feel like your unnecessary. In a few hours your services will no longer be needed.

-Josh
 

Shoggoth2588

New member
Aug 31, 2009
10,250
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To my Game Boy Pocket

I want to apologize for a lot of things. I apologize for the fact that I lost your battery cover. I apologize for the fact that I only used you for Pokemon. I apologize for spending more time with my larger, TV consoles. Most importantly though, I apologize for the way I disposed of you. It was terrible and I was terrible but I was young and I'm just really sorry and if I could take back what I did I would. Please forgive me.

<3
 

SuperSamio64

New member
Nov 4, 2010
122
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When I saw the title of the thread I was like "What? No! That's stupid!" then realised I spoke to my laptop. Well played.
 

Jedamethis

New member
Jul 24, 2009
6,953
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sky14kemea said:
Pretty words
It's okay Sally, you might not have as pretty a name as Anastasia, you might not be the youngest, sexiest, or fastest laptop in the world. But you're mine, and I love you. *hug*
I...I know it's likely you don't have long left. I've made you as comfortable as I can, I got you a stand to keep you cool, speakers to compensate for your old built in speakers. I wish I could keep you forever, and upgrade you, and never leave. But we can't be together forever. Never forget that you are, and always will be, my laptop. I have considered getting a desktop, so that you need never be replaced and can live out your days in peace.