Say something to an inanimate object.
- Thread starter Ectoplasmicz
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This is something to my beloved Computer.
Dear Computer.
I have always been the best of friends with you. Except the other day when the crappy Australian internet disconnected and kicked you multiple times.
That wasn't your fault, it was the damn internet's fault. I hope you can please forgive me and let me keep playing on you and keep having fun with you.
Your Master.
StormShaun.
P.S Forgive me when I abandon your ass, but your memory will be always with me.
I felt sad typing that up. D:
Dear Computer.
I have always been the best of friends with you. Except the other day when the crappy Australian internet disconnected and kicked you multiple times.
That wasn't your fault, it was the damn internet's fault. I hope you can please forgive me and let me keep playing on you and keep having fun with you.
Your Master.
StormShaun.
P.S Forgive me when I abandon your ass, but your memory will be always with me.
I felt sad typing that up. D:
Xbox, my old awkward friend.
Well I say "friend" but friend in the modern Facebook sense, more of an acquaintance, I know you very little, I can recall the date I met you but good memories hanging out with real friends (on Xbox Live), you've been kind of a drag.
You invited other people to the party I never wanted to know and you were kind of a jerk asking us to pay saying you were giving us a good deal but you weren't. I know this is partially pressure from your dad (Mr Microsoft) but it's you're party and normally we'd take care of the trouble-makers but you've constantly dropped the ball on this one.
I've been hanging with you less and less now, and frankly you are getting too needy, always with the installs and patches yet still with crashes and bugs, and then just plain not working if if have the wrong signal output for my TV.
Well when I met you you were cool, easy going and made everything easy.
But now my old friend, my oldest friend who NEVER gave up on me, good old PC. Yeah, he's a handful but you know what... YOU are a handful! You keep wanting more and giving less. PC is giving more and asking for less. Indie revolution, Free-to-play, mods like Day-Z, Mann vs Machine, and graphics that don't pander to shininess but complexity of gameplay with high framerate that you don't seem to even understand.
Maybe we should hang out with different people from now on.
Cya.
Well I say "friend" but friend in the modern Facebook sense, more of an acquaintance, I know you very little, I can recall the date I met you but good memories hanging out with real friends (on Xbox Live), you've been kind of a drag.
You invited other people to the party I never wanted to know and you were kind of a jerk asking us to pay saying you were giving us a good deal but you weren't. I know this is partially pressure from your dad (Mr Microsoft) but it's you're party and normally we'd take care of the trouble-makers but you've constantly dropped the ball on this one.
I've been hanging with you less and less now, and frankly you are getting too needy, always with the installs and patches yet still with crashes and bugs, and then just plain not working if if have the wrong signal output for my TV.
Well when I met you you were cool, easy going and made everything easy.
But now my old friend, my oldest friend who NEVER gave up on me, good old PC. Yeah, he's a handful but you know what... YOU are a handful! You keep wanting more and giving less. PC is giving more and asking for less. Indie revolution, Free-to-play, mods like Day-Z, Mann vs Machine, and graphics that don't pander to shininess but complexity of gameplay with high framerate that you don't seem to even understand.
Maybe we should hang out with different people from now on.
Cya.
Dear alarm clock,
Thank you for sticking by me all these years even though I've gotten quite rough with you on some occasions. Couldn't you have a nicer sound though? I mean seriously, the one you ha---ah, no matter. We won't get into this discussion again, it's not your fault. Anyway, many thanks.
Love you (some days),
-Jay
Thank you for sticking by me all these years even though I've gotten quite rough with you on some occasions. Couldn't you have a nicer sound though? I mean seriously, the one you ha---ah, no matter. We won't get into this discussion again, it's not your fault. Anyway, many thanks.
Love you (some days),
-Jay
Hi Galaxy,
Your inability to understand my Swedish accent makes your "oh so useful" Siri-copy useless. You can apparently understand french... no further comment is necessary.
Sincerely,
Your disappointed master.
---------------------------------------------
Dear computer,
You have been with me for so long. Been together through the moistly forest of Crysis and killing a giant made out of rock in Darksiders II. Good times, good times.
Now don't die on me! So many more sweet games incoming this fall!
Sincerely,
Someone who could easily butcher you for scrap metal and electronic parts.
Your inability to understand my Swedish accent makes your "oh so useful" Siri-copy useless. You can apparently understand french... no further comment is necessary.
Sincerely,
Your disappointed master.
---------------------------------------------
Dear computer,
You have been with me for so long. Been together through the moistly forest of Crysis and killing a giant made out of rock in Darksiders II. Good times, good times.
Now don't die on me! So many more sweet games incoming this fall!
Sincerely,
Someone who could easily butcher you for scrap metal and electronic parts.
Dear vending machine at work,
Why do I have to restock you? I'm tiny and you're like twice my size. Also you're very picky about the type of dollars you want. I just want my soda to help me through a slow day.
- Frost
Why do I have to restock you? I'm tiny and you're like twice my size. Also you're very picky about the type of dollars you want. I just want my soda to help me through a slow day.
- Frost
Dearest Samsung,
You were my first touchscreen phone, and by far the best phone I've ever had. Your camera was unmatched, your screen responsive and you were slim and easily transported. You traveled all around the world with me, from Utah to India and all points in between. Though your screen grew scratched and your speaker grew dull, you were always with me. Though sadly your battery began to fail you. You just couldn't hold your charge on those big nights out anymore, but you were with me through some of the greatest moments of my life, and I do not blame you. You are greatly missed.
Love,
WhyBotherToTry
You were my first touchscreen phone, and by far the best phone I've ever had. Your camera was unmatched, your screen responsive and you were slim and easily transported. You traveled all around the world with me, from Utah to India and all points in between. Though your screen grew scratched and your speaker grew dull, you were always with me. Though sadly your battery began to fail you. You just couldn't hold your charge on those big nights out anymore, but you were with me through some of the greatest moments of my life, and I do not blame you. You are greatly missed.
Love,
WhyBotherToTry
Dear Air Conditioner,
Despite your ability to maintain 70 degrees Fahrenheit temperature for the bedroom, I still feel like your unnecessary. In a few hours your services will no longer be needed.
-Josh
Despite your ability to maintain 70 degrees Fahrenheit temperature for the bedroom, I still feel like your unnecessary. In a few hours your services will no longer be needed.
-Josh
To my Game Boy Pocket
I want to apologize for a lot of things. I apologize for the fact that I lost your battery cover. I apologize for the fact that I only used you for Pokemon. I apologize for spending more time with my larger, TV consoles. Most importantly though, I apologize for the way I disposed of you. It was terrible and I was terrible but I was young and I'm just really sorry and if I could take back what I did I would. Please forgive me.
<3
I want to apologize for a lot of things. I apologize for the fact that I lost your battery cover. I apologize for the fact that I only used you for Pokemon. I apologize for spending more time with my larger, TV consoles. Most importantly though, I apologize for the way I disposed of you. It was terrible and I was terrible but I was young and I'm just really sorry and if I could take back what I did I would. Please forgive me.
<3
When I saw the title of the thread I was like "What? No! That's stupid!" then realised I spoke to my laptop. Well played.
It's okay Sally, you might not have as pretty a name as Anastasia, you might not be the youngest, sexiest, or fastest laptop in the world. But you're mine, and I love you. *hug*sky14kemea said:
I...I know it's likely you don't have long left. I've made you as comfortable as I can, I got you a stand to keep you cool, speakers to compensate for your old built in speakers. I wish I could keep you forever, and upgrade you, and never leave. But we can't be together forever. Never forget that you are, and always will be, my laptop. I have considered getting a desktop, so that you need never be replaced and can live out your days in peace.
Dear stuff,
all you guys (and girls, of course) know what you mean to me, as we talk often - still, let's make it public: all of you rock in your own way!
I'd also like to embrace this opportunity and thank a very special something which does its unthankful job each and every day, never complains, but gets way too much appreciation for it - my toilet; you are an awesome invention (together with all the stuff that comes after you)
Thank you all for your loyal service over all these years.
Sincerely,
s0p0g
all you guys (and girls, of course) know what you mean to me, as we talk often - still, let's make it public: all of you rock in your own way!
I'd also like to embrace this opportunity and thank a very special something which does its unthankful job each and every day, never complains, but gets way too much appreciation for it - my toilet; you are an awesome invention (together with all the stuff that comes after you)
Thank you all for your loyal service over all these years.
Sincerely,
s0p0g
Dear bed
You're big enough to masturbate in but small enough so as I'm not comfortable sleeping in you afterwords and that is why I love you.
P.S. I'm leaving you for the swively chair.
Yours sincerely, Me.
You're big enough to masturbate in but small enough so as I'm not comfortable sleeping in you afterwords and that is why I love you.
P.S. I'm leaving you for the swively chair.
Yours sincerely, Me.