Script For Transformers 2 Will Probably Suck

[manaman]

Well it was going to be bad, It may now be apocalypse-esk bad.

I have no idea why everyone expected more then the first movie offered. I think it may have to do with inflated memories of their favorite childhood show. The show sucked. The idea that the movie sucked because it was supposed to just be about the giant robots was also a load of bull. The show always had the annoying kids that tagged along with the autobots. They tweaked the story to try and update it and appeal to modern audiences, nothing they have not done to a thousand things before.

The movie was not the best, but I was entertained. The explosions where fun, they stayed mostly away from situational humor, and while over the top bad acting a small problem it succeed at what it was trying to do above all else. It was big budget action movie. Then again I was never a rabid fanboy, so maybe that was the only reason I could enjoy it.

I highly doubt this movie will be any different. Except that it might have a little more cheesy dialog. I will see it to watch giant robots fight, and see explosions. Both are something hollywood can do with ease.

 

[tyzzni]

i think its going to suck because they already messed it up in 2 seconds into the preview.
At the end of the first movie bumblebee could talk
at the start of the second he can't



wha?

 

[CuddlyCombine]

Don't worry, to cover it, during the action sequences, Bay will have close-ups on the legs, arms and other quickly moving parts of the Transformers in battle or just moving while the characters shout their lines from off-screen.

This is probably the truest thing I've ever read on the Internet.

 

[Ossum]

Dialogue summary:

Explosion

"nononononononono"

Explosion

"You have a cinematographically profitable destiny which can spawn new movies when our wallets get thin."

Explosion

"nonononononononono"

"I'm the already-captured love interest and I like plastering myself all over big metal things with engines, c'mere Optimus..."

Explosion

"I seethe with ineffectual rage for kicking my ass in the first movie and dumping me in salt water where I'd get fish crap and corroded circuits in minutes. Oh crap I'm dead again."

Explosion

Roll credits...

 

[SirSchmoopy]

"MEGATRON WANTS WHATS IN MY HEAD"

Need I say more?

 

[Ancientgamer]

Well, no one watches these movies for the plot anyway.

Then what DO they watch it for? Do they get paid to see it?

For the incredible, eye-poppingly awesome action sequences.

Honestly, if all you care about is plot, go read a book. The visual side can be all the justification a movie needs.

 

[PirateKing]

Well I did think I could write a better sequel. Unicron would be in it!
I'm trying to optimistic, but I was never thrilled with the sequel anyway. I think the Constructicons are making an appearance! That's cool...right?

 

[ZippyDSMlee]

The first one sucked so why can't the next one suck as more or worse?

The last TRANSFORMERS film has a bad plot,crappy dialog and worse actors who get more screen time than the robot stars...not to mention they look like walking scrap heaps...

Star trek dose a much better job of doing a make over right....even if the plot sucked the story/dialog saved it.

 

[Rigs83]

Well, no one watches these movies for the plot anyway.

Then what DO they watch it for? Do they get paid to see it?

explosions I guess.

And seamless CGI transformations. Besides, it'll probably still make a fair profit, because many people who aren't here on the Escapist, learning about T2's suckiness, will walk blindly into the theater and expect the same thing they saw last time and liked: big testosterone fueled cars and Megan Fox. And they'll eat it up.

I expect people will question my sexuality for this but I don't think Megan Fox is hot. I'll admit she has all the ingredients of a modern day hottie:
Nice breast, long legs, vaguely Asian, bisexual.
She seems to be human being constructed solely to cater to the frat boy image of a hottie. She has no real presence in the movie other than as an ornament to look at.
I have never met her and will almost certainly never will but when I see her on magazines and film she seems almost like a CGI effect from a movie to me. Something not real and flawed and human. Just too clean and antiseptic and lifeless. I get the same feeling from the Tequila lady that was/is on MTV.

 

[LilGherkin]

I've got some other shocking news you won't believe, Barrack Obama is president. (Not a raciest statement)

 

[Tahmoh]

it looks like theyve got more big robots fighting each other this time and a reasonably good storyline involving the rise of one of the prophesied 13 original transformers (the fallen) so it should be a fairly good film imo, as for the humans well who knows megatron may actually get to kill some this time

 

[incubus42]

One serious question:
Is there anybody out there who will watch the movie for its story?

The special effects and robots were pretty much the only appeal of film number 1 and will also be for film number 2. I mean, the story of the first one was already really bad. I was asking myself, while watching the beginning of the first movie, if the movie takes itself serious; stupid flying ultimate power cube.

 

[Sir Ollie]

Well this movie has already ruined the Constructicons

# Scavenger
# Hightower - I'm pretty sure that Hightower was a Goddamn Autobot!
# Long Haul
# Mixmaster
# Rampage

Yeah...

 

[traceur_]

Well, no one watches these movies for the plot anyway.

Then what DO they watch it for? Do they get paid to see it?

Explosions, giant robots, giant robots transforming into sweet vehicles, giant robots in epic fight scenes, seamless CGI, Megan Fox.

This one will be epic.

 

[Rusty Bucket]

The thing with the first movie was that the plot had a very strange role. In most films, the action scenes help drive the plot forward. In Transformers, the plot helped drive the action scenes forward. I'm expecting the same again.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Ya know what really makes my brain ache?

The very first Transformers movie (with Eric Idle and Orson Welles in) [Yes, THAT Orson Welles. Yes, THAT Eric Idle] had a female Transformer in ("Arcee" voiced by the usually wonderful Susan Blu) and it still didn't suck as hard as the "First" one.

Let me re-iterate: Orson Welles.Look at that line up [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092106/fullcredits#cast]

It makes me shudder that someone can actually get this wrong when all you need are robots hitting each other.

 

[dantheman931]

Gosh, such negativity from you guys. I really enjoyed the first movie and I hope the second one is just as good if not better.

I won't ask what you guys hated about it because I don't really feel like reading that wall of text and hearing about how they fucked up your childhood. My standards for movies must be really low because I enjoy almost every movie I watch. I don't think they're all masterpieces, but they leave me feeling quite content when I leave the theater.

I mean seriously it seems like every big movie that comes out EVERYBODY, and I mean, EVERYBODY hates it, then again it could just be that those who hate it feel they need to spread the bile so they run to the internet.

I set forth a challenge to all of you to do what I do when I go see a movie; Sit down in the theater with little to no expectations about what's coming and grasp the basic concept that movies are meant to be entertaining. Don't go in expecting it to be the thing of fan-fiction because its not. Try, just try to freaking enjoy a movie for once instead of looking for everything bad about it.

That's my two cents on the matter, I really don't care what you think about it.

Agreed. I don't get why people feel the need to hate on everything that comes out just because it's new; that doesn't make you hardcore, it just makes you a tool. Plus, I want to point out that Star Trek II was written in 12 days, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Star_Trek_II:_The_Wrath_of_Khan] and that movie was pretty damn good. So it's not like it can't happen.