Of course it would be me, the vampire, who would get blamed for the murder of Derpy. Despite my protestations about stereotyping and profiling, one crowbar to the head and some time later I awoke to find myself tied to a chair, surrounded by a crowd of my fellow party-goers. Aerosteam and T0ad seemed to be in charge of the mob, the latter I could understand since I'd been responsible for his death in a past life but the robot, that was odd. What reason would he have to pin the murder on me?
"Whatever happened to the justice system in this world?" I asked to no avail.
"Anyone got any silver bullets?" one of the mob called over my head.
"What do I look like, a werewolf?" I exclaimed, "Do it properly at-least."
"Oh yeah," another cried, disappearing into the kitchen, before returning with a medium-rare steak that had been grilling in the oven for dinner, before Kira struck that is.
"That's not..." I shook my head in disbelief, before deciding to go along with it, "Oh well..."
I tucked into my last meal, savouring each juicy bite. I even had some chips and a nice cider to go along with it. The mob waited around me expectantly and began to become restless as it became clear I wasn't dying.
"Wait a minute," Blue Rocker said with a look of realisation on his face, "That's the wrong type of the steak! We need a stake."
"Finally," I said in exasperation, "Make sure it's nice and sharp too,"
As he hurried away to find a suitable implement, a few of the mob gathered around me with dark looks of their faces... or at-least I imagined so behind their masks.
"Any last words?" Caramel Frappe hissed through his Xenomorph suit.
"If... no, when I turn out to be innocent, just remember who was so eager to push for my execution," I shrugged, "Just a hint, be careful who you trust in this game,"
Blue Rocker returned with a sharpened wooden peg, which he handed triumphantly to Aerosteam. He placed it against my dead heart, holding a mallet high in readiness to strike.
"See you in hell," I whispered as he struck downwards in one blow, freeing my soul at last from this cursed Earth.