Seriously, why do some guys pull this shit?

[.No.]

I hate to be a jerk, but these guys don't deserve a girl. They just need to be ejected from the playing field.

That's going a bit far, and is beyond being a jerk. And what do you mean "ejected from the playing field"?

Getting ostracized from society? Send him to a tiny uninhabited island and drop off provisions every two weeks.

Actually that's even better than what I was thinking. He wouldn't need a car or job. He can just sit there and have everything he needs delivered to him. It seems to be what he wants. win/win!

I am dissapoint. Sure, make it so he has no chance of changing, and will gradually insane due to being by himself all the time. He definitely deserves that for being really creepy(and there's NO chance he's just going through a bad time in his life). Give him the same treatment that murderers get, because he is clearly on par with them.
You seem to think that he doesn't "deserve" a girl. He doesn't "deserve" a treat for being creepy. You completely miss on the fact that not only guys can be creepy, and that there are girls just as bad as this. No gender is superior to the other. No gender is inferior to the other.

 

[weker]

So long story short, I've recently started dating a guy who I met and he's awesome. We always enjoy spending time together, we're getting to be very close and we have a lot in common. Everything's going great...

But one of my guy friends is straight-up being an outright ass almost. When I first mentioned that I was dating someone new his first reaction was "I'm happy that you're happy, but I know that I could make you happy too" and launches into this whole sob story about why no one hangs out with him. I'm not very close with this guy at all, but he's constantly telling me how attracted he is to me and all this other shit and he barely even knows me because any time I saw him in person he just sat in a corner and didn't talk to anyone. Just a little bit ago when he was talking to me on IM he mentioned that he was feeling really horny... Why the fuck would I want to know that?! Seriously, this guy doesn't know shit about me and yet he's making all these comments as if he could convince me to dump my boyfriend and instead date him when he doesn't have a real job and no car and constantly whines about crap...

Why do guys pull this shit?!

You have the most personal insight into this person, normally I am fairly amazing at breaking down a person personality and reason, but it's more a face to face thing, or piles of information about them.

OT: The guy sounds stuck between a geek and a horny teenager, my guess is he is not the most social at first due to people being strangers, but after that short stage he becomes fairly open. This I think will cause him to seem to friendly to certain people, you I assume will have a longer time needed to class someone as a friend or a close friend, and this guy ofc is being friendly to early to you.
The guy also sound jealous, and fairly egotistical. I guess because he isn't the most open to people, he hasn't been attacked much for being egotistical. (I am unsure if I am making sense XD I basically am trying to say he hasn't learnt to not be egotistical )

It's seem the issue is his personality is partly egotistical, and I guess you haven't told him off in anyway.
He due to his social standing does get much, which is why he is fairly desperate with you, attempting to act overly confident, however just acting like a creep.

Hope this help, and my sleep deprivation hasn't made this nonsensical.

 

[Charli]

Just tell him to cut that shit out or there are going to be problems between you two.

Simple statements are often likelier to get the message across.

If he continues with his self indulgent martyr-ism and vulgar outbursts, cut him from your life and teach him a little lesson in composure if he doesn't want to be /forever alone.

 

[inquisiti0n]

If a guy IM's you that he's really horny when you're not in a relationship, that's is one creepy as fuck move.

Tell him to back the fuck off.

lol, anything can work with a girl if you have the right delivery, timing, etc.


guys often stress wayyy too much about what a girl will like, rather than thinking how to get a girl to try to impress him instead of the one-sided chase most guys grow up expecting when dealing with women

 

[WeAreStevo]

Snip

Honestly, he's just trying to make you take pity on him. It's pathetic.

Don't fall for it...he'll learn (hopefully) that women don't like when people whine about how sad they are...it's irritating.

Plus, by him saying he's horny it's trying to get you to again feel bad that he has nobody there to...well...you get the picture.

Long story short, he's pathetic and you're better off

 

[Giest4life]

So long story short, I've recently started dating a guy who I met and he's awesome. We always enjoy spending time together, we're getting to be very close and we have a lot in common. Everything's going great...

But one of my guy friends is straight-up being an outright ass almost. When I first mentioned that I was dating someone new his first reaction was "I'm happy that you're happy, but I know that I could make you happy too" and launches into this whole sob story about why no one hangs out with him. I'm not very close with this guy at all, but he's constantly telling me how attracted he is to me and all this other shit and he barely even knows me because any time I saw him in person he just sat in a corner and didn't talk to anyone. Just a little bit ago when he was talking to me on IM he mentioned that he was feeling really horny... Why the fuck would I want to know that?! Seriously, this guy doesn't know shit about me and yet he's making all these comments as if he could convince me to dump my boyfriend and instead date him when he doesn't have a real job and no car and constantly whines about crap...

Why do guys pull this shit?!

Edit: Yea I know not all guys are like this, just when some of them do I'm completely unable to grasp as to why they think crap like this will work in their favor.

Those are the guys you can count on to slip roofies in your drink, or ambush you in a dark alley. They feel it's their "right" and that you should have acceded to being with. He is a genuine cause for concern.

 

[Custard_Angel]

Typical friend-zoned beta male.

He doesn't know how to be a man so he just acts like a boy.

He'll learn one day.

Or he'll get absorbed in the fat rolls of the internet.

 

[Gamblerjoe]

I hate to be a jerk, but these guys don't deserve a girl. They just need to be ejected from the playing field.

That's going a bit far, and is beyond being a jerk. And what do you mean "ejected from the playing field"?

Getting ostracized from society? Send him to a tiny uninhabited island and drop off provisions every two weeks.

Actually that's even better than what I was thinking. He wouldn't need a car or job. He can just sit there and have everything he needs delivered to him. It seems to be what he wants. win/win!

I am dissapoint. Sure, make it so he has no chance of changing, and will gradually insane due to being by himself all the time. He definitely deserves that for being really creepy(and there's NO chance he's just going through a bad time in his life). Give him the same treatment that murderers get, because he is clearly on par with them.
You seem to think that he doesn't "deserve" a girl. He doesn't "deserve" a treat for being creepy. You completely miss on the fact that not only guys can be creepy, and that there are girls just as bad as this. No gender is superior to the other. No gender is inferior to the other.

Hello dissapoint, thank you for voicing your concern. I'm sorry to hear that you were unable to detect the off beat and hyperbolic silliness of my previous comment. I was getting tired of being serious and found Herr Uhl's comment to be quite funny. Please direct all further concerns to my PR department.

I can see my comments, serious or not, are hitting a little too close to home for some people. Ill try to back off, but no promises. Im sure my inbox will be blowing up with people quoting me for quite a while.

 

[New Frontiersman]

Because he's jealous, simple as that. He wants to go out with you and either you don't like him that way or he didn't have the guts to ask you. Now he's being whiny because another guy has you and he doesn't.

Some guys are like that, but not all of them.

I wouldn't hang out with a guy like that if I were you, it seems he's not interested in you as a friend and doesn't really respect you as a person. Tell him if he keeps this shit up, and doesn't start respecting your decisions, you won't even hang out with him as a friend anymore.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

So long story short, I've recently started dating a guy who I met and he's awesome. We always enjoy spending time together, we're getting to be very close and we have a lot in common. Everything's going great...

But one of my guy friends is straight-up being an outright ass almost. When I first mentioned that I was dating someone new his first reaction was "I'm happy that you're happy, but I know that I could make you happy too" and launches into this whole sob story about why no one hangs out with him. I'm not very close with this guy at all, but he's constantly telling me how attracted he is to me and all this other shit and he barely even knows me because any time I saw him in person he just sat in a corner and didn't talk to anyone. Just a little bit ago when he was talking to me on IM he mentioned that he was feeling really horny... Why the fuck would I want to know that?! Seriously, this guy doesn't know shit about me and yet he's making all these comments as if he could convince me to dump my boyfriend and instead date him when he doesn't have a real job and no car and constantly whines about crap...

Why do guys pull this shit?!

Edit: Yea I know not all guys are like this, just when some of them do I'm completely unable to grasp as to why they think crap like this will work in their favor.

Speaking as a guy who hates most of his fellow gender, the majority of us lads are juvenile idiots. Those of us that are unfortunately like your friend don't share their particular feelings about something, yet feel that they are entitled to it somehow. This jealousy turns ugly when somebody else succeeds at something they couldn't do, so they begin to desperately grasp at straws instead of just accept things the way they were always going to end up and just be the decent guy; be the friend who's happy for her and helps the relationship anyway he can, like a friend would.

Sadly, a very small chunk of the male population is actually like this. The majority are the aforementioned jealous children.

 

[Turing]

Short answer: Because he's got issues. Tell him to unload them on someone else and get over it, then get over it yourself.

 

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

I know girls who pull these things as well. Don't generalize me along with them

Steppin back to answer your question:

"Because they got a no, but can try for a yes" fits in.
And because (most) people (like that) like wallowing in self-pity and hoping for a bone of any kind thrown to them.

Basically ignoring and moving on is an option

yeah this.

one of my best friends unfortunately does this, and this conclusion seems to work quite well, i tend to have to tell most girls he tries to hit on to do this as he tries to pull this move every.single.time....

*sigh*

 

[krazykidd]

So long story short, I've recently started dating a guy who I met and he's awesome. We always enjoy spending time together, we're getting to be very close and we have a lot in common. Everything's going great...

But one of my guy friends is straight-up being an outright ass almost. When I first mentioned that I was dating someone new his first reaction was "I'm happy that you're happy, but I know that I could make you happy too" and launches into this whole sob story about why no one hangs out with him. I'm not very close with this guy at all, but he's constantly telling me how attracted he is to me and all this other shit and he barely even knows me because any time I saw him in person he just sat in a corner and didn't talk to anyone. Just a little bit ago when he was talking to me on IM he mentioned that he was feeling really horny... Why the fuck would I want to know that?! Seriously, this guy doesn't know shit about me and yet he's making all these comments as if he could convince me to dump my boyfriend and instead date him when he doesn't have a real job and no car and constantly whines about crap...

Why do guys pull this shit?!

Edit: Yea I know not all guys are like this, just when some of them do I'm completely unable to grasp as to why they think crap like this will work in their favor.

Because it works. Iv'e seen guys do that until he sleeps with the girl, then drops her. IT WORKS . Not 100% of the time obviously. But it does work.

 

[tobi the good boy]

I say, roll him up in a carpet and throw him off a bridge. That's how I solve all my problems. *Nods*

 

[Gamblerjoe]

The reason he's quiet and creepy is because he never developed any social skills, and doesn't have the gumption to start.

The reason he unloaded his affection on you is probably because you are nice. Iv met nice girls and thought about how great it would be to be with them. I have no doubt in my mind that I could make a girl happy. The difference is, I either keep my mouth shut and keep my intentions to myself (im good at hiding what Im thinking), or I open up to the girl gradually and gauge whether or not she is interested (Im good at reading people.) I would never want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. Nothing turns me off more than apathy.

I know how to be disarming, and I have my funny or clever moments. The reason most guys suck at that, is the same reason most people suck at poker. They don't even know what skills they need to be developing. They think telling a girl she's beautiful and offering her a drink is something that doesn't happen to mediocre girls 100 times a day. They try to force situations, when they should be picking their battles.

I am by no means a player, or any kind of raving success story when it comes to dating. If anything Im too passive. What I can say though, is that I don't creep girls out, and I am never ham fisted in anything I do. I am, in fact, so disarming, that girls who are in a relationship have told me, or my friends that they would date me if they were single. I guess when the pressure's off, I really shine.

The funny thing is that these guys who think they would be so great for a girl would bring nothing to the table. They are the kind of guys who would never take you out, never think of anything interesting to do, never have anything interesting to talk about, and sex with them would be 30 seconds of awkwardness. When you threaten to leave them, they just cry and threaten to hurt themselves. I hate to be a jerk, but these guys don't deserve a girl. They just need to be ejected from the playing field.

In essence, what you are saying is "I'm such a damn player."
Saying "I am by no means a player" doesn't mitigate the rest of the message, things like "I really shine."
Don't be so arrogant. Maybe not everyone is approaches your high and mighty Casanova pickup skills, but it's not like they are bad at it on purpose.

That thinly disguised post of self-glorification was unnecessary.

How unfairly harsh it was to other people who may be lacking in social skills is what bugs me.
They don't need to be "ejected from the playing field."
They need to learn how to deal with people. That is all. They deserve as much of a shot at love as you do.
Whether they actually get it or not is their problem.

Calm your passive-aggressive narcissism, man.

I will express as much contempt as I want toward whomever I want. It doesn't make me arrogant, it makes me a jerk. Feel free to put words in my mouth though. People like the creepy kid clearly need defending, so Im sure they're glad to see they have a champion for their cause.

If someone doesn't earn something, then no, they do not deserve it. I know what its like to have problems. I know what its like to be neglected. I know what its like to have not been taught anything about interpersonal relationships. I know what its like to be a beaten dog. I have no sympathy for people who wallow and cant get over it. I have no sympathy for people with no desire to improve themselves.

Claiming to suck at something is no excuse. I hear people say things like "Ill never have a 6-pack" or "Ill never be good at picking up girls." Well, they're right. They've made up their mind that they will ever have those things, and no one is going to achieve it for them.

 

[Hagi]

Typical friend-zoned beta male.

He doesn't know how to be a man so he just acts like a boy.

He'll learn one day.

Or he'll get absorbed in the fat rolls of the internet.

Rawr! I'm the big alpha male!

Get on your knees all you inferior woman-folk and worship me!

 

[TheDooD]

Guy is lonely and wants to make you feel bad. Wants to be with you because your now in a relationship. A girl will pull this crap more than a guy will, but men have known to play the card as well. The guy is wondering why your just friends and this guy comes along and sweeps you up. Is wondering what makes this jerk off so special.

This 100%, this

OT

OP take a step back and think about this

The guy is wondering why your just friends and this guy comes along and sweeps you up. Is wondering what makes this jerk off so special

If you have guy friends and they aren't gay. They all have a crush on you and should have gave them a chance before tossing them into that friend bin. He's pissed off because he feels betrayed that you can fall for an outsider and not somebody who stood at your side.

 

[Shakomaru]

Well, allow me to use my favorite saying. BOYS... *rolls eyes* Alright. now that that's over with, If you don't know him very well, that's... really kinda creepy. How long has this been going on? because if it's been a while, just tell him to get over it, and if he doesn't punch him in the face or something. If it hasn't just politely try to tell him how you feel about what he's doing, and if he doesn't listen, punch him in the face. Or just ignore him.

 

[Rin Little]

Snip

That completely baffles me... That said, I have an important question of my own for you.
I'm being serious and I would love a serious answer:
Why do you still talk to this creep at all?
Because you see, I have this social anxiety reaction where I worry overmuch that if I'm the least bit unpleasant to someone, I risk alienating them beyond recovery. Yet I keep hearing about people who have no such qualms about saying stupid shit and people keep enabling them!
Does the entire reason they still have friends amount to no more than politeness?

Was because the "I'm horny" thing literally happened about an hour ago.

 

[Herr Uhl]

If you have guy friends and they aren't gay. They all have a crush on you and should have gave them a chance before tossing them into that friend bin. He's pissed off because he feels betrayed that you can fall for an outsider and not somebody who stood at your side.

Would this also mean that if the guy friend is bi, he has a crush on all his friends?