Sex.
- Thread starter Everin
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I've had a girlfriend for 11 months and I haven't slept with her. I love her, and it's not that I don't want to have sex with her; I just haven't. I don't really know how to explain it more than that.
And the first thing I thought when I read that: 'a marriage is just a divorce that hasn't happened yet!'Dags90 said:
Personally, I think western society really overstates the importance of sex, and presents it as a dichotomy to young people. It's cool, it's fun, if you don't manage to do it before a certain age you're a loser, but don't do it until you're married. What.The.Fuck.
Given the right circumstances, yes, sex is great... and yes, it's also a risk in the wrong circumstances. But we've fetishized it too far. It's always got to be this huge production, billed as the best thing on Earth. Which sets virgins up for disappointment. Let me be clear: to any virgin "saving themselves" for "the right moment/person/whatever", your first time will disappoint you. Sex takes practice to get good at. A little psychological/physiological learning helps as well.
As for marriage, let it be a religious institution and stop pressuring people outside of your religion to do it. The biggest reason we have so many divorces is because marriage is expected of people, yet few people are actually prepared for it... or even really want it.
Given the right circumstances, yes, sex is great... and yes, it's also a risk in the wrong circumstances. But we've fetishized it too far. It's always got to be this huge production, billed as the best thing on Earth. Which sets virgins up for disappointment. Let me be clear: to any virgin "saving themselves" for "the right moment/person/whatever", your first time will disappoint you. Sex takes practice to get good at. A little psychological/physiological learning helps as well.
As for marriage, let it be a religious institution and stop pressuring people outside of your religion to do it. The biggest reason we have so many divorces is because marriage is expected of people, yet few people are actually prepared for it... or even really want it.
Sex is...alright. I don't really see it as sacred or anything more than what it is...which is just sex. I enjoy sex with my partner, though I'd hazard a guess and say she is far more into the act than I am. Don't get me wrong, we enjoy our time together, but her sex drive far exceeds my own.
In my experience...
- Sex is a great thing, but more of a fun diversion than a goal in of itself.
- I don't want kids. Got a vasectomy. No complaints.
- You get laid more when you're not actively trying to get sex and are just happy in yourself.
- Sex is a lot more fun and rewarding in comfortable / loving / steady relationships. Flings are fun, but sorta "low investment - low return".
- Sex and Marriage are two entirely different lifestyle elements that should really be "divorced", when making informed, logical choices about your future.
- Geeks and artists are more fun and imaginative in the sack than "norms".
- Nice guys 'finish' last - the girls like that.
Be safe and have fun.
- Sex is a great thing, but more of a fun diversion than a goal in of itself.
- I don't want kids. Got a vasectomy. No complaints.
- You get laid more when you're not actively trying to get sex and are just happy in yourself.
- Sex is a lot more fun and rewarding in comfortable / loving / steady relationships. Flings are fun, but sorta "low investment - low return".
- Sex and Marriage are two entirely different lifestyle elements that should really be "divorced", when making informed, logical choices about your future.
- Geeks and artists are more fun and imaginative in the sack than "norms".
- Nice guys 'finish' last - the girls like that.
Be safe and have fun.
I think sex is sacred, yes. I want to save my first time for my wedding day, but we'll see if I have the commitment to see that through (at the very least I want to have it with only one person). I've thought a fair degree about this and honestly the way you put it, splitting your core, is more or less exactly what I think. that's not to say that I think anyone who has sex before marriage or with multiple partners is EVIL, but I personally feel that it should be thought of as special.Everin said:That's the topic. But what do you think about sex? Like, do you think it's sacred, do you think it's just an activity, do you think it's something that you should wait to do, or dive right in on the first date? Would you do it with a stranger, or only with someone you truely know? Just your thoughts on sex. And why?
I think that sex is something that should be saved til the wedding bed, personally. I think that it is the ultimate act of love and it bonds you with the person you share it with. It's like you take the core of yourself and place it in the other person's possesion and if you do it with lots of people regularly, you split that core and violate yourself. But thats just my opinion
EDIT: When I say sex, I mean making love as well, not defining between sex and love making.
Well it's a special sort of activity that needs two willing participants and alot of practice to be good, just like dancing let's say, but hell of alot more fun, no other fun activity in the world compares to it.
If people consider it their holy cow it's up to them, but as I don't share those religious views I probably couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone like that.
If people consider it their holy cow it's up to them, but as I don't share those religious views I probably couldn't be in a serious relationship with someone like that.
I like sex. I don't see it as sacred. I think it's different for different people and that it's fine that way.
If someone doesn't want to have sex before marriage, that's their right. It wouldn't work for me but that just means I'm not going to be an ideal partner for them or them for me.
If someone sees it as an activity like any other such as playing videogames, and does it with that frame of mine, it's fine by me too. Once again, that's not how it works for me, but that just means we won't be doing it together.
If someone isn't interested in sex at all, good for them. That doesn't affect me one way or the other.
The way it works for me, it's an expression of trust. It doesn't have to be romantic love although I prefer if it is, but it's making myself vulnerable to someone and showing them the real me that they don't usually get to see. It's emotional and there aren't that many people I could do it with, would want to do it with.
I think "making love" is a stupid way to phrase it. We don't call holding hands "making friendship" or whatever. I much prefer saying sex, and that doesn't mean there is no love involved. Similarly, the f word doesn't apply, but when it does it doesn't mean there isn't love involved. It's just more animal and less tender, but that can be a lot of fun too.
If someone doesn't want to have sex before marriage, that's their right. It wouldn't work for me but that just means I'm not going to be an ideal partner for them or them for me.
If someone sees it as an activity like any other such as playing videogames, and does it with that frame of mine, it's fine by me too. Once again, that's not how it works for me, but that just means we won't be doing it together.
If someone isn't interested in sex at all, good for them. That doesn't affect me one way or the other.
The way it works for me, it's an expression of trust. It doesn't have to be romantic love although I prefer if it is, but it's making myself vulnerable to someone and showing them the real me that they don't usually get to see. It's emotional and there aren't that many people I could do it with, would want to do it with.
I think "making love" is a stupid way to phrase it. We don't call holding hands "making friendship" or whatever. I much prefer saying sex, and that doesn't mean there is no love involved. Similarly, the f word doesn't apply, but when it does it doesn't mean there isn't love involved. It's just more animal and less tender, but that can be a lot of fun too.
the ultimate test of true love: will they still do it with Mantis' hymm playing in the background
but then again if its Mantis' hymm...
but then again if its Mantis' hymm...
As Eddie Murphy put it and it's my view as well.
'I will fuck somebody I'm in love with but I ain't making love to nobody.'
I think the act of sex should be kept between a couple and its up to them when they think it's right to take that next step. For me with my current partner we met up for the first time and went for it Still together now 6 months down the line and about ready to move in together.
It all depends on the person/couple
'I will fuck somebody I'm in love with but I ain't making love to nobody.'
I think the act of sex should be kept between a couple and its up to them when they think it's right to take that next step. For me with my current partner we met up for the first time and went for it
Still together now 6 months down the line and about ready to move in together.It all depends on the person/couple
I enjoy sex, me and my girlfriend lost our virginity[footnote]I had another, less consensual, experience years earlier, but I'm not counting that[/footnote] to each other a couple years ago. We're not married.
I have had sex with other women, more casual sex, and it was never as good. It might just be psychological, but having sex with someone you love is always better. [footnote]This I know from anecdotes! AND ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE IS NEVER WRONG[/footnote]
I have had sex with other women, more casual sex, and it was never as good. It might just be psychological, but having sex with someone you love is always better. [footnote]This I know from anecdotes! AND ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE IS NEVER WRONG[/footnote]
Me and my cousin had a conversation similar to this topic a while ago, we're both 18 and she's a virgin because of her Catholic upbringing - whereas I'm an atheist - and as such she doesn't want to lose her virginity until she's married. I'll try to remember how it went as best I can, we had just found out an old school friend had gotten married and was expecting a kid.
Her: ?Married? And a kid? Christ he?s not much older than me and he has a kid, and here I am still a virgin.?
Me: ?I thought that was your choice, you didn?t want to lose it until your married.?
Her: ?Yeah but sometimes I think about that choice. These are modern times and the frigid ***** comments at school get to me at times. I don?t want to fuck the next guy I see but I wouldn?t mind if it was with someone I loved.?
I think my cousin's view on sex is the one I follow.
Her: ?Married? And a kid? Christ he?s not much older than me and he has a kid, and here I am still a virgin.?
Me: ?I thought that was your choice, you didn?t want to lose it until your married.?
Her: ?Yeah but sometimes I think about that choice. These are modern times and the frigid ***** comments at school get to me at times. I don?t want to fuck the next guy I see but I wouldn?t mind if it was with someone I loved.?
I think my cousin's view on sex is the one I follow.
I think it's important, but not sacred. I think it's an emotional event, no matter how badly you try to separate it from emotion, they are inextricably linked. I think it should be an expression of how much you care for each other. However, I don't think it's important to wait until the wedding bed, neither do I think it should wait until the 3rd/5th/27th/whatever date. It should wait until you are comfortable with each-other, and care for each-other deeply, but that is something that isn't going to happen based on time. If you've been friends for years, secretly hiding your feelings for each-other, it might be appropriate on the first date. If you met in a bar, maybe it should wait for a few months. It's an experience that should be decided upon by the individuals involved, which brings me to my most important belief about sex. It's no one's business except the people who are involved, when consensual.
People are saying that sex isn't important, but sexual repression and some of the crappest things in the world occur in the same place, and a simple coincidence I don't believe it to be.
Simply, if the world had more, and better sex, other shit wouldn't matter. Mentally we are more stimulated and happy after fulfilling our sexual needs, and that includes deep forays into territories currently defined as "fetish" for a large portion of the world.
I get lots of sex and have lots of sexual partners, and introduce people into the fetish scene in Europe, and you know what? Afterwards there is a marked difference in everyone, regardless of ethnicity, age, gender or upbringing. Simply put, it makes everyone a shitload more peaceful and happier.
Do you honestly believe that a load of the terrible figures in history weren't secretly homosexual, but were overcompensating to repress heavy urges of what was at the time an ethically wrong lifestyle? Do you believe that the businessmen who have to pay for dominatrix service wouldn't rather be sharing that experience with their wives or other loved ones? Do you honestly believe that men who are serial adulterers are doing so out of some kind of wickedness or mental deficiency, as opposed to just being born that way?
Don't sell sex too short, prudishness has done absolutely nothing for mankind. Sex should be open, and free, as long as it is respectful and consensual with all parties and partners.
Simply, if the world had more, and better sex, other shit wouldn't matter. Mentally we are more stimulated and happy after fulfilling our sexual needs, and that includes deep forays into territories currently defined as "fetish" for a large portion of the world.
I get lots of sex and have lots of sexual partners, and introduce people into the fetish scene in Europe, and you know what? Afterwards there is a marked difference in everyone, regardless of ethnicity, age, gender or upbringing. Simply put, it makes everyone a shitload more peaceful and happier.
Do you honestly believe that a load of the terrible figures in history weren't secretly homosexual, but were overcompensating to repress heavy urges of what was at the time an ethically wrong lifestyle? Do you believe that the businessmen who have to pay for dominatrix service wouldn't rather be sharing that experience with their wives or other loved ones? Do you honestly believe that men who are serial adulterers are doing so out of some kind of wickedness or mental deficiency, as opposed to just being born that way?
Don't sell sex too short, prudishness has done absolutely nothing for mankind. Sex should be open, and free, as long as it is respectful and consensual with all parties and partners.