Shower Thoughts MK2

Chimpzy

Simian Abomination
Legacy
Escapist +
Apr 3, 2020
12,820
9,245
118
Thinking of starting my own splinter religion from Christianity like many before have done, but instead the hook is we're already in hell and the only way we can return back to reality is by working together as a harmonious de-escalatory species.

Oh and god already died long long ago who's interdimensional ethereal corpse allowed life to flourish from its decay.

How did they die? No-one knows, don't look at me I only just started this thing!

Plus I promise not to start any wars: civil, international, intergalactic, interdimensional or spiritual...no wars in this one garunteed. We ain't like the other girls.

If you're disappointed with the product you can leave any time free of charge or judgement, rules are minimumal, don't be a kunt basically.

Every day is a holiday. Because you deserve it.

No need to pray, who you gonna pray to anyway you bloody idiot? Scroll back up. They dead!

No hiercharies, fuck that abuse-enabling shit.

Uh, communal activities and traditions are whatever you want, this is as hands off (must resist church abuse joke!) as it gets.

The "after death" question? I don't fucking know, haven't heard back from a dead person yet. Tho as it's the main common hook through all other religions, we're gonna have to workshop this bullshit eventually, ain't we?

Scientific method is still cool and accepted. Unless it compromises my tax-free bracket status.

If I missed anything else, just assume it's the bestest coolest answer to all of those potential unasked questions. đź‘Ś
I give it at most five seconds before someone, maybe you, corrupts it for their own ends. On the other hand, that would also mean it has successfully managed to capture the true essence of religion.