So Let's Talk About Sex....

[roman gnome]

A lot of us talk about "casual sex" and "meaningful sex" as if there were an easily identifiable line between the two, but I think a lot of the time it's not that clear. Hopefully we always know whether or not we're in a relationship, but not being in one doesn't necessarily mean we don't care about our partners, nor does being in one imply that the sex isn't just recreation a lot of the time. Personally, I'm not really sure how to tell when sex is meaningful and when it isn't. I know that I'm not really interested in having sex with anyone that I wouldn't want to cuddle with afterward (which I'm told is unusual for a man), and I'm always more concerned about her pleasure than my own (that must be an indication, right?), but I don't necessarily have to know a woman for very long before I'm ready. A few hours of conversation is plenty. Getting to know someone intimately is always a tremendous thrill, and it always feels like it means something, even if I can't quite put my finger on what it means.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't be too quick to judge someone for being a bit promiscuous. It doesn't necessarily mean they don't appreciate the difference, or even that they've ever had totally meaningless, empty sex. OK, triple digits is way too many, but 29 men in 2 years for an attractive young woman really isn't that bad. At least, I wouldn't judge her until I'd spent some time talking with her... did she happen to mention if she likes older guys?

 

[Julianking93]

. did she happen to mention if she likes older guys?

Dude, she fucked anyone who even remotely liked her. Oldest guy she had was 30. Youngest was 15.

 

[Cowabungaa]

I'm not "against" anything. Everyone can enjoy sex just the way he/she likes it. Everyone's different, has different limits, etc etc so I won't judge someone about it.

I know for a fact that my kid brother, who is 17, already had sex with his 17-year-old girlfriend. For me that's too young, I wasn't ready at that age and now I'm nearing 20 I still doubt I am. But he's different from me, I know those 2 really love each other (I wouldn't be surprised if they'd end up marrying, I sure hope so, she's cool) so I really don't care what they end up doing in bed. It's not in my place to judge.

That said, I'm in line with Julian here. Casual sex is not for me and I really want to wait for 'that special one' (no matter how cheesy that sounds) I trust enough to have sex with. Sex, to me, is too special and too intimate to just do for shits & giggles with a random chick.

But I won't judge people who do have sex for fun. Who am I to judge them for that?

 

[Julianking93]

But I won't judge people who do have sex for fun. Who am I to judge them for that?

Exactly my point.

I'm not here to judge anyone and that's not what this thread is about.

Sure, I have my opinions about the subject and my judgements towards the people who do that kinda stuff, but I have no right to state them. It's their life, they can do what they want.

 

[Gigano]

I have no ethical objection to casual sex, nor do I find it disgusting in any way.

She purpose of sex is pleasure, bonding, and occasionally procreation. And as for the bonding capacity weakening with use, that would be a wholly personal matter depending on individual psychology - just like some can feel continuous fulfilment having the same job for 30 years, while others will tire after a month - so any generalized critique of "casual sex" as a concept based in it would be null and void as far as I'm concerned.

I find the idea that people should be "whores"/"cheap"/etc., and thus somehow worth less, for expressing and using their sexuality in whatever way that does not cause harm to others to be prudish, bigoted, and pathetic. That it's often skewered towards female sexuality doesn't really help the respectability either.

As for myself, I'd never have sex outside of a stable and loving relationship. Not my thing.

 

[lumenadducere]

I'm of the opinion that as long as you're safe about it and everyone consents then it's totally fine. Sex can be different things for different people, so if someone enjoys it as being less intimate and more casualthen that's fine and more power to 'em. For me personally I prefer to be with someone I care about, but I'm not going to think less of anyone for having a different idea towards it than I do. To each their own.

 

[ProGirl]

most of you guys seem quite young for me - i regreted that i lost my viginity quite early but now that I am 27 I live in an open relationship, as I am travelling a lot for business I do like casual sex as long as its not too personal or close.

To be honest, its about what you feel comfortable with, as if I care if someone I barely know thinks I am a slut?!? No one really knows about what I do or dont do so the only person I really need to judge is myself and I feel great when I look in the mirror and I am happy to have a man that feels the same

(Edit - Casual sex is nothing that helps your ego... but if you do it cause you enjoy it you will feel great )

Its nothing you can ask a crowd really, the only thing is how you are happy to live your life...

 

[Nanaki316]

Pretty much feel the same as you. I lost my virginity at 15, don't regret it at all and have had the equivalent of one partner a year. I'm now 22, live with my partner of 4 years and we have 2 kids.
I've had ONE one night stand and it was absolutely awful. Sex is just so much better when it's with someone you really love.

 

[thahat]

Or more specifically, your feelings towards casual sex and romantic sex.

Just something I'm curious to find out, how does the Escapist feel about open relationships, casual sex or people who sleep around a lot?

This is something I've been wondering about for some time now but never really got around to asking it. I was talking with a certain user here who shall not be named, who is in full support for casual sex and open relationships. Now, I think I've made my stance on the subject clear by now, but for those of you who don't know, I am the type of person who wants to wait for someone I love until I have sex so needless to say, I don't agree in the least with those types of people who go round having sex with as many people as possible.

Note that I'm in no way saying my way of thinking is better, it just works best for me. I personally don't see the point in going around fucking everyone you possibly can when you have your hands to give you the same satisfaction. For example, I know a girl who is 19 and has had sex with 29 men. And she lost her virginity at 17.

Now I may be a prude or I may be close minded with an old fashioned way of thinking but am I the only one who is bothered when you hear about people like this?

And she's not the worst I know. Some are in the triple digits and they're not even 30. Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds. Personally, I don't see the point of that. Thinking about things like that makes me very uncomfortable and I know that's just me but I can't be the only one.

I'm all for sexual freedom, but when it gets to that point, it becomes a little much.

So, Escapist, what do you think about all this?

For those of you wondering, I am 16, a virgin and an atheist, so my opinions on sex are not affected by religious influence.

i think the same, way, and have a girlfriend whos even MORE sceptical about sex. although she is warming up to the idea of, and the other stuff surrounding it XD ( we're going steady for 1.2 years now, im 20, shes 18 ) and both virgins still, also atheist etc.
all im saying is, this stuff is indeed not to be rushed, she tought me this XD, and i think ill have to agree, if i did some of this stuff on my 14-17th, or even 18th i think that would have been..strange XD

 

[Kevonovitch]

if i'm not gettin any, someone better goddamn well be! XD

 

[Evilsanta]

I am what you call a hopeless romantic...Mostly thanks to all damn romantic movies.

I dont condone casual sex but i feel that it should be done with some you care.
And i must admit if i found out that the girl i am dating would have sleept around i would think less of them which sickens me as i dont want to judge people like that.

 

[Naleh]

At 18, I've never been in a relationship. I've only ever even had two crushes (heck, for all I know they might not have counted as crushes), and those weren't until I was 16/17.

And to be honest? I have no interest in it. If I ever have sex, it'll be with someone I love; and if I never find someone I genuinely love, I'd be perfectly satisfied with a single (and, yes, therefore virgin) life. From all I've heard, love is a fantastic emotion, but so far it hasn't proven necessary to my happiness.

But if other people want to have casual sex, all power to them. It's not what I want for myself, but I don't have a problem with it.

 

[Elementlmage]

I would like to give you a high five but I am pretty sure that would be a bad idea...

Giving a high-five to ANY guy over the age of 12 is a VERY bad idea.

-------------------------------------------------

Anyway, my greatest shame is that I am 22 and still a virgin. Because of this, I am rather strangely envious those who can have such casual relationships. I wouldn't call it jealousy as much as curiosity though. My opinion of such relationships basically boils to: "To each his/her own". That is the way I think about it mostly because I don't know my own needs yet, so, in an effort to remain open to my own needs, I remain open about that needs of others.

Well, back to trying re-master metal songs so that they are listenable through HLSS.(I think this might have something to do with my lack of a relationship xD)

-edit-
AGH! No matter what I do there is a freakin buzzing sound right around 350 hz that doesnt show up outside of when I am playing it in game... I WILL GET RID OF IT!

 

[Datsle]

its a something completely different with someone you love.

 

[Sexual Harassment Panda]

Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds.

Im sorry I just cannot believe that. You would have to be a very successful prostitute to get that kind of number.

OT: I personally do not really mind casual sex, nor do I romantic commitment. Depends on the current situation.

Yeh...that does smell pretty strongly of bullshit. Young men lie about this stuff, all the damn time.

I have no strong opinions and I don't care what others do. It's a non-issue for me, I have no sex drive.

Sex is about procreation anyway, that's why it exists...to make babies. We're such a self involved and narcissistic species that we make it about us.

 

[Timmehexas]

I'm more of a romantic and although I do have a bit of a perve when I see an attractive person, I don't think I could ever just have sex for the sake of having sex, I need a spark to be there an emotional attachment. And some people just like to have some fun, to each there own.

Sex is about procreation anyway, that's why it exists...to make babies. We're such a self involved and narcissistic species that we make it about us.

Gah damn it, I knew I was doing it wrong.

 

[Lord Krunk]

Note that I'm in no way saying my way of thinking is better, it just works best for me. I personally don't see the point in going around fucking everyone you possibly can when you have your hands to give you the same satisfaction. For example, I know a girl who is 19 and has had sex with 29 men. And she lost her virginity at 17.

I know a girl who's 16 that has for many years enjoyed toying with other girls' sexuality. As in, snatching them away from their boyfriend just to spite them. And she has a boyfriend herself. Shadenfreude if ever I saw it, but that's probably a much more deviant example.

Regardless, I'm a friend-with-benefits myself. I enjoy the idea of hedonism without regret, for both parties involved. No hard feelings if either wants to move on, and it can always become serious later on.

 

[FamoFunk]

Sex is good.

I'm all for casual sex with as many people as you like (even at the same time if you wish!) if you're not in a relationship, you can practise safe sex, have knowlage on STI's, birth control, condoms etc. Then why not? As long as both parties know it's "just sex" it's a win win as you've both sorted out your sexual desire. Plus "fuck buddies" or "friends with benifits" is fun!

I really dislike how a woman will get branded a slut/whore/slag, while the man will get high fived and told to "get in there" as long as no one is getting emotionaly hurt or physically, then shag away.

 

[junkmanuk]

I am a virgin

Since when?

Am I the only person who found that funny?

Anyway, sex is fun; with as many and varied people as your life allows. Life'a too short as it is.

 

[int boom]

And she's not the worst I know. Some are in the triple digits and they're not even 30. Some friends I know have friends at that age (19) who are in the hundreds.

I don't understand human interaction well enough to attain such a high tally, but I would if I could. If I could find romance I would probably prefer that, but I don't meet people much and no one seems interested so I'll never know.