So you like a girl...

[manic_depressive13]

-snip-

That was pretty funny. Ever met RAK the Undead? I have a feeling you two would get along great.

 

[KingGolem]

That was pretty funny. Ever met RAK the Undead? I have a feeling you two would get along great.

What was pretty funny? Were you under the impression that I was joking? I assure you, I am being completely serious.

And no, I am not familiar with RAK the Undead.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Don't drink, it'll hinder you in the long run; talk to people without being too drunk and you'll be far better in the confidence/fear of rejection department. Timing's a *****, though. I say you should toss it out the window and ask them out on a date when you're next alone, just stay away from calling it a date and you should be decent. If you get the let's just be friends talk then you gave it a shot and can approach that cutie at the bar you mentioned earlier with a clear conscience that you aren't hurting them or your relationship.

"You never know what life might throw into your lap if you open your legs and embrace it."

I get the impression that quote is somewhat paraphrased. :3 Anyway, thanks for the advice, I'll try to keep some of those things in mind, in particular I think avoiding the word date might help to ease into things and I guess I just need to go for it more with the bar scenario, I haven't really got anything to lose there. Nerves are a ***** too, but I guess I just need practice.

 

[The Rookie Gamer]

Ask them. The golden rule is that yes means yes and no means yes.

I don't know if I should trust the person with the Princest Molestia avatar...

OT: Ask her out, but not straight up saying you want to take her on a date. Be casual, ask her out to the usual(dinner, movies, etc...) and don't act nervous.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

How do you deal with it? Do you tell them face to face or over text? Do you go for it and ask them out, or keep it quiet and hope they like you as well? What have you done in the past?

Me, I prefer to tell them face to face, as doing it over text or Facebook doesn't make me feel good about myself and I feel less manly. I personally like to feel that they have to kind of like me in the first place but sometimes, I lack the courage to tell them when I want to because I get really nervous and can't think straight. My last girlfriend asked me out over Facebook which wasn't very ideal but meh.
Share tales and experiences and tips as well if you want to


EDIT 1: Also, for the ladies out there, if your heterosexual, tell us about lads instead.

I've found that if there's a real chance of trying things out and if you've got chemistry, it just kind of...happens. You don't usually have to put a load of effort and thought in, things should just kind of flow into a relationship. But to actually answer your question, face to face is always better to establish things with. If it all starts with talking over the internet things can be really awkward when you actually meet up with them.

 

[tjbond911]

I'm wondering the same thing

 

[Condor219]

The first girl told me she was moving out of state (we were good friends, came up casually) the day I'd built up enough courage to decide to ask her out in person (which I realize is the most effective way to do it).

The second girl I crushed on for roughly 2.5 years before finding out that she had a habit of leading others on, and I realized I was one of those people. Never got to ask her out (hoo boy could she rebound fast, she went through boyfriends like they were being thrown into a wood chipper) but my preferred method to woo her was through text (I'm a mess irl as opposed to in text, when I am given time to think about what I'm going to say).

Currently, I'm too shy to ask out the girl I like (which is following the norm for me). She's single, but I rarely see her anymore, and I'm not sure she likes me romantically.

 

[Jenitals]

I wouldn't tell a guy because I'd never have the self-confidence. It's my firm belief that if a guy doesn't tell then he doesn't like. The idea that the man tells the woman he likes her is the only traditional view I hold towards relationships only becaise it's so much easier that way

However, as hypocritical as this may sound, I'd find it cowardly if someone told me they liked me over facebook or via text. Even worse if the guy seemed confident in the first place I'd find it rude and demeaning.

 

[Psychedelic Spartan]

Let her know the old fashioned way with a bottle of wine, a length of rope, some ductape, and a bottle of chloroform

My god! It worked! I even got laid! No, no I kid, just work up the confidence, and say it to her plain and simple.

 

[Denariax]

Sandor wins guys, pack up the trucks

But in all seriousness; is it weird to like someone you're helping on Facebook regardless of not knowing the other person? Call it nerdy but I like to extend the stories I think up through roleplay, and knowing that I have seen the person and how they act, is it still weird? I have no idea.

 

[GigaHz]

Snip

Over text? There are people who do that?

That is all kinds of sad.

 

[BreakfastMan]

Do... Nothing! Hurrah! Worked splendidly for me every single time I have tried it. Sure, I never went out with them, but they never broke my heart either, so I count that as a win for me.

[sub]I am so alone. *sob*[/sub]

 

[manic_depressive13]

What was pretty funny? Were you under the impression that I was joking? I assure you, I am being completely serious.

And no, I am not familiar with RAK the Undead.

No, I realise you were being serious. I was amused at your audacity in posting a comment that was certain to attract negative attention. As I'm sure you've noticed, our society promotes the notion that the pursuit of a relationship is one of life's priorities, so people holding your opinions are often mocked. It pleases me that there are people like you willing to subvert the established norms.

RAK is just a (in)famous user around here that has a very similar attitude to yours regarding the wiminz.

 

[KingGolem]

No, I realise you were being serious. I was amused at your audacity in posting a comment that was certain to attract negative attention. As I'm sure you've noticed, our society promotes the notion that the pursuit of a relationship is one of life's priorities, so people holding your opinions are often mocked. It pleases me that there are people like you willing to subvert the established norms.

RAK is just a (in)famous user around here that has a very similar attitude to yours regarding the wiminz.

Being respected for being different? There's another first. Thank you.

 

[BoredRolePlayer]

face to face, i want to see her struggle to come up with a reason to reject me

 

[Slayer_2]

Ask her face to face. I usually just spit it out, partially because I don't like to BS around, partially because I get nervous. My usual line is "I really like you, want to go on a date sometime?".

 

[Gmans uncle]

Better question:
How do you ask another guy out when you're not 100% certain he's gay?
Going through that problem right now as a matter of fact...

 

[Slayer_2]

Well, you might as well keep that up for as long as you can. Because if you change your mind all you will ever be is some lonely old man trying to get some, having missed out on the chance of being a young, attractive, virile man trying to enjoy one of the better things that life has to offer.

That's exactly what I'm sick and tired of: everybody assuming that they know me better than I know myself.

I have taken a vow of unchastity, guided by 2 philosophies. There is no such thing as right or wrong as long as no one gets hurt and to truely succeed in life is to experience it from all possible perspectives. Neither one are achievable in a practical sense, at least not very likely, but the priciple is to open yourself up to enjoy as many new experiences as possible while trying not to cause any undue suffering to those around you. As long as you are enjoying things and not being selfish, a prick, or downright cruel, I dont see the need to limit yourself from enjoying what life has to offer.

Out of curiousity, do you think you are going to get any extra credit in this life or the next for your choice? Because at 20 you do still have a chance to change your mind and really enjoy things. Some women are actually turned on by (young) virgins.

"Vow of unchastity." Heh, that's a new one. I'm afraid you are incorrect in your assumption that my vow of chastity is based in morality or religion. I am an atheist, and believe that it is a weakness of character to make decisions based on anything but logic. There are tremendous risks associated with procreation, chief among them one's choice of partner. I cannot expect to find a woman who agrees with me completely or submits wholly to my will, and as such any relationship will entail compromise. I absolutely refuse to compromise my own nature. Without a relationship, I am free to be myself.

Another problem that prevents me from pursuing a relationship is that I refuse to serve anything other than my own self interests. I have heard it said that being in a relationship requires the ability to put others ahead of yourself, and I believe that to do so is folly. I am the most important person to myself, and I intend to keep it that way.

There is also the problem of starting a family, which is the logical conclusion of a successful relationship. I don't intend to do that either. As a woman cannot be controlled, in all likelihood she will abandon me and use the repulsive system of divorce to take half of everything I own. I can excercise a greater degree of control over my children, but there is still a chance that they may grow up to betray me, and be disgraces to my name. Keeping the children under control would be even harder when having to compromise my ideas of child raising with a woman.

With all these dangers compounded together, I see relationships as an unacceptably risky venture. I will never have sex, either. Sex carries plenty of risks on its own (STD's, accidental pregnancy, and so forth), and the legal variety is usually acquired through a relationship. I am capable of relieving my sexual tensions without the aid of another person, so I see no need for intercourse. On the whole, relationships and sexual intercourse are a completely unecessary evil, hence my vow of chastity.

This guys is amazing. Honestly, the fact that he comes across dead serious takes the cake.

 

[KingGolem]

Allow me to poke holes in your "logic". You claim you base you decisions on logic, yet you illogically claim to know the future. This is an impossibility with the current level of technology available to mankind. The divorce rate is 50%. Not the best odds, but points to the fact that people are indeed capable of forming lasting relationships the MAJORITY of the time (or close to it). Besides, you can have sex without getting married, having kids, or getting an STD. People do it all the time, litterally. If you were motivated by pure logic then you would have made a risk assesment analysis to rate the risk of having sex vs say- getting in a car and driving to the store.

Do not forget the other reasons I do not want to marry. Of the 50% of marriages that do not end in divorce, how many of them require compromising oneself to suit your partner? I am not at all interested in compromise. Further, I see no value in intercourse when I am able to relieve my sexual tensions alone, much faster, more reliably, and without the risks and sacrifices of a relationship.

Your decisions seem to be based on fear and the egotistical need to feel superior to others. Neither of which are logical in nature. It has been proven mathmatically that individuals cooperating to collect limited resources aquire a higher level of said resources than those opperating alone or even by trying to steal/cheat resources from others. Logically, you should be able to see that you are an insignificant speck in the universe. Making yourself the most important thing in the universe does nothing to change that. We as a species have advanced to where we are COLLECTIVELY. Think about your life today compared to some guy running scared through the wild bush in naught but a loin cloth holding naught but a sharpened stick to appreciate how far we've come in this manner.

Ah, the old "we all have to work together" nonsense. I've heard this number before. Do not forget that in a relationship, the capital secured, increased though it may be, must be divided between myself and my partner, or worse, between myself, my partner, and my children. I do not see any guarantee at all of being better off. I do not think society is a fitting analogy, either. Certainly, society is a body of millions of individuals working together, but that work is done to indirectly benefit each other, and participation in it does not require liking it or living with it. Once I get home from my job, I don't have to have any more contact with society until it's time to work again. Not so with a partner. They require an investment of time and energy, and if the relationship has advanced to the point where we share a living space, I cannot escape them at my leisure, either. That's not how I want to live my life.

You admit to having an "animalistic" part of your brain. Is it logical to deny an inherent part of your being? It might be MORE logical to admit that you arent/can never be a purely logical being and allow yourself to enjoy/indulge in things that are illogical. Even if you dont want to have kids I hope you can understand that it is very logical that we have the biological drive to reproduce, and that it was the logical/rational parts of our brains that allowed us to figure out how to enjoy sex without producing children with every copulation.

The animalistic part of my brain tells me to do things that I do not want to do. I do not consider intercourse or relationships to be worthy of the investment. Do not forget that natural selection favors those behaviors that are best for the species, and not necessarily the individual. I put myself above everything else, and I see anything that tells me otherwise to be illogical, considering that I am the most important person to myself.

 

[KingGolem]

This guys is amazing. Honestly, the fact that he comes across dead serious takes the cake.

Pardon me, but did you mean that out of awe or incredulity?