So you've just found out your spouse is a former porn star.

[PromethianSpark]

As usual, the liberal, always nice guys responses. It would bother the fuck out of you all. men most so, but women. Its the human ego you see, and the male ego is the worst. How could you compete with all those hour long sessions with the biggest members u cud imagine! She was lying when she said I was the best she ever had! Did she just fake that orgasm just now? - And so the decent into egomanical maddnness and jealousy would go. Until you hate your partner and, but more so yourself.

Before you all jump to respond, this is the cold truth that you either deny, or lack the relevant life experience to know.

You're totally right! All men are exactly the same and share your enormous arrogance and insecurity over their dicks.

All women are also totally the same and are all just cock-hungry bitches who live by one rule, and one rule only: biggest is best.

Everyone knows that how pornstars do it is clearly what's most pleasurable for the participants and not made for anything else. You should totally ejaculate all over your wife's face next time and then slap her tits several times, she'll love that for sure.

That's the cold hard truth you either deny or you just haven't had a guy with a 12 inch slong come all over your face.

I miss the internet you know. Remember when being anonymous allowed even the biggest sheep to be themseleves and speak freely. Now a days ppl stage manage themselves on forums and say wat looks good. Am sure gothman would be glad to know he is still relevant in the digital era.

For a start mate, penis size is a only a part of it. Its about insecurities in general. As for the reality of porn, you clearly don't realise that an insecure jealous mind is not a rational one.

But here, you are free of all insecurities, and must have a wealth of experience with the opposite sex, seeing as you know exactly what to do in this situation! What are you doing here chatting to us? Don't you have this awesome life to be living.

Truth is mate, you don't know how you would respond! So stop pretending that you a great guy. I seen a mate once say similar things with such confidence! He also beat his ex-girlfriend out of jealousy! So stop talking shit!

 

[ScorpSt]

I'd be bothered mainly because she would've been doing it while we were in a relationship together. Seriously, we dated non-stop since we were 16 and got married 5 years out of high school.

 

[Technocrat]

As a former porn star, I would probably be merely puzzled as to why this hadn't arisen in conversation earlier.

 

[BathorysGraveland]

Well, to be brutally honest with you, I would have a relationship with someone who is STILL a porn star if I loved them. So I think the answer to this is obvious.

Hint: I wouldn't care. You'd have to be one shallow ************ to make a big deal out of her being a former porn star. A current one, I can understand, to a degree.

 

[Hagi]

As usual, the liberal, always nice guys responses. It would bother the fuck out of you all. men most so, but women. Its the human ego you see, and the male ego is the worst. How could you compete with all those hour long sessions with the biggest members u cud imagine! She was lying when she said I was the best she ever had! Did she just fake that orgasm just now? - And so the decent into egomanical maddnness and jealousy would go. Until you hate your partner and, but more so yourself.

Before you all jump to respond, this is the cold truth that you either deny, or lack the relevant life experience to know.

You're totally right! All men are exactly the same and share your enormous arrogance and insecurity over their dicks.

All women are also totally the same and are all just cock-hungry bitches who live by one rule, and one rule only: biggest is best.

Everyone knows that how pornstars do it is clearly what's most pleasurable for the participants and not made for anything else. You should totally ejaculate all over your wife's face next time and then slap her tits several times, she'll love that for sure.

That's the cold hard truth you either deny or you just haven't had a guy with a 12 inch slong come all over your face.

I miss the internet you know. Remember when being anonymous allowed even the biggest sheep to be themseleves and speak freely. Now a days ppl stage manage themselves on forums and say wat looks good. Am sure gothman would be glad to know he is still relevant in the digital era.

For a start mate, penis size is a only a part of it. Its about insecurities in general. As for the reality of porn, you clearly don't realise that an insecure jealous mind is not a rational one.

But here, you are free of all insecurities, and must have a wealth of experience with the opposite sex, seeing as you know exactly what to do in this situation! What are you doing here chatting to us? Don't you have this awesome life to be living.

Truth is mate, you don't know how you would respond! So stop pretending that you a great guy. I seen a mate once say similar things with such confidence! He also beat his ex-girlfriend out of jealousy! So stop talking shit!

I know, I know.

You're totally right.

I'm just here on these forums claiming I'm such a great guy to feel better about myself. Obviously I'm just compensating for my small genitals and other insecurities, not to mention my sheer inability to have any meaningful contact with the opposite sex.

But that's probably for the best, we all know that clearly were I ever to get a girlfriend I would beat her. I mean your friend did so and so obviously everyone who says something he once said must also beat their girlfriends.

Such a smart man you are, capable of extrapolating from a single friend of yours to the entire male gender! Most would balk at such a thing, citing silly inconsequential things like "anecdotal evidence" and "fallacy"! But no, not you! Truly, where would we be without men like yourself, making bold unsubstantiated claims that reveal the truth about life, the universe and everything that exists. We all know that anyone who disagrees is just a lesser mind so caught up in his or her own insecurities that they're incapable of seeing your psychological brilliance in analyzing the human and male condition.

 

[Gilhelmi]

Actually I think that makes it less understandable. If you hide it from them and you think they would care, it's quite a bit worse than if you'd thought they wouldn't and didn't tell them. If they would care you should get around to telling them or not be with them.

Why? It's who they were, not who they are.

Are you of the opinion that people can't change? Do you tell everyone every little thing about you? Every dark thought, every little misdeed, because you think they *might* care?

Whoever coined the term "honesty is the best policy" is an idiot.

honesty is the best policy.

The only one who are idiots are those who can not accept the truth. On this case, I would accept my wife's past, IF it was her past and she never looked back. All people have made mistakes, all have sinned, I would be sinning if I did not accept it.

The truth shall set you free from the slavery of lies. Lies enslave your soul (or mind, or ID, whatever you choose to call it), they prevent you from being truly close to one another.

 

[Programmed_For_Damage]

As usual, the liberal, always nice guys responses. It would bother the fuck out of you all. men most so, but women. Its the human ego you see, and the male ego is the worst. How could you compete with all those hour long sessions with the biggest members u cud imagine! She was lying when she said I was the best she ever had! Did she just fake that orgasm just now? - And so the decent into egomanical maddnness and jealousy would go. Until you hate your partner and, but more so yourself.

Before you all jump to respond, this is the cold truth that you either deny, or lack the relevant life experience to know.

Yeah you're right, I would have insecurity issues regarding my size. I've watched enough porn to already have them, but I've never had any complaints in my "relevant life experiences". If my ex-pornstar wife was still with me then I'd take it as gospel that she's either satisfied with my performance or that the marriage is more fulfilling to her than the sex she used to get on set.

 

[PromethianSpark]

I know, I know.

You're totally right.

I'm just here on these forums claiming I'm such a great guy to feel better about myself. Obviously I'm just compensating for my small genitals and other insecurities, not to mention my sheer inability to have any meaningful contact with the opposite sex.

But that's probably for the best, we all know that clearly were I ever to get a girlfriend I would beat her. I mean your friend did so and so obviously everything who says something he once said must also beat their girlfriends.

Such a smart man you are, capable of extrapolating from a single friend of yours to the entire male gender! Most would balk at such a thing, citing silly inconsequential things like "anecdotal evidence" and "fallacy"! But no, not you! Truly, where would we be without men like yourself, making bold unsubstantiated claims that reveal the truth about life, the universe and everything that exists. We all know that anyone who disagrees is just a lesser mind so caught up in his or her own insecurities that they're incapable of seeing your psychological brilliance in analyzing the human and male condition.

Lol! I deal with this kinda drivel at work (Phd), and then I come home to wiki academics online. You know what, couldn't be bothered arguing with you. Either three things are possible:

1. You have sufficient life experience and have acquired a level of self knowledge that is free of denials, so that you are correct in surmising your response. In which case, good for you! Hows Nirvana Buddha?

2.You have insufficient life experience, or are plagued with denial, that you can state your response with great certainty without having any real insight into your actual response.

3.You say the hypothetical response that reflects you best. Like my friend. Like most people. Does this mean it isn't true? No. Only that you don't know if it is anymore than I do. Your words where automated.



Now, the fact that you jump on someone who expresses a discomforting truth (his) gives me a fair idea which category you belong in. I've been through NA and AA meetings and I know wat ppl on the path to number 1 looks like. It aint the judgement of the mob. You point the finger, but remember, there is always 3 pointing back at you.

Now please, don't respond with your pseudo academia trash! Read, reflect, and if you must respond, less jargon, and more substance.

 

[Formica Archonis]

Now, imagine yourself in the same situation with your significant other; be they real or hypothetical. How would you go about handling it, and would it bother you at all?

I'd shoot myself in the head because living in a universe where everything Dear Abby prints is true is too horrible to contemplate.

But seriously? I don't know, I can't find myself being bothered by it. My partner's past sex life is only my concern as far as it affects me: Kids, STDs, and crazy exes. I'd probably be more hurt that she didn't tell me sooner.

Besides, we all did retarded things when we were 19. Hell, I was 19 until I was 24.

 

[White Lightning]

Depends on what she did I guess, if it was vanilla stuff I guess it would be fine; if instead she had a train of like 6 dudes or something weird like that I'd be kinda grossed out.

 

[Hagi]

I know, I know.

You're totally right.

I'm just here on these forums claiming I'm such a great guy to feel better about myself. Obviously I'm just compensating for my small genitals and other insecurities, not to mention my sheer inability to have any meaningful contact with the opposite sex.

But that's probably for the best, we all know that clearly were I ever to get a girlfriend I would beat her. I mean your friend did so and so obviously everything who says something he once said must also beat their girlfriends.

Such a smart man you are, capable of extrapolating from a single friend of yours to the entire male gender! Most would balk at such a thing, citing silly inconsequential things like "anecdotal evidence" and "fallacy"! But no, not you! Truly, where would we be without men like yourself, making bold unsubstantiated claims that reveal the truth about life, the universe and everything that exists. We all know that anyone who disagrees is just a lesser mind so caught up in his or her own insecurities that they're incapable of seeing your psychological brilliance in analyzing the human and male condition.

Lol! I deal with this kinda drivel at work (Phd), and then I come home to wiki academics online. You know what, couldn't be bothered arguing with you. Either three things are possible:

1. You have sufficient life experience and have acquired a level of self knowledge that is free of denials, so that you are correct in surmising your response. In which case, good for you! Hows Nirvana Buddha?

2.You have insufficient life experience, or are plagued with denial, that you can state your response with great certainty without having any real insight into your actual response.

3.You say the hypothetical response that reflects you best. Like my friend. Like most people. Does this mean it isn't true? No. Only that you don't know if it is anymore than I do. Your words where automated.



Now, the fact that you jump on someone who expresses a discomforting truth (his) gives me a fair idea which category you belong in. I've been through NA and AA meetings and I know wat ppl on the path to number 1 looks like. It aint the judgement of the mob. You point the finger, but remember, there is always 3 pointing back at you.

Now please, don't respond with your pseudo academia trash! Read, reflect, and if you must respond, less jargon, and more substance.

A Phd! Oh my god! If I had any doubts at all over the validity of what you're saying, which I most certainly did not, I would now be utterly convinced of your rightness. Everyone knows Phds are never wrong and that everyone claiming to be one on the internet clearly is.

And I'm so glad you know which category I'm in. Mind telling me? My endless insecurities clearly render me incapable of forming a coherent picture of myself and I must say I'm so very relieved that you're capable of surmising my personality from the grand total of 3 forum posts, but then again you are a Phd after all!

Such knowledge of people you have, knowing exactly who's going to make it and who isn't. Knowing from only a few lines of text on a forum exactly if people are just giving automated responses, if they're lying or actually telling the truth. But I forget again, no challenge at all for mister Phd.

If I only I were as smart as you clearly are. But alas, I am not a smart man. Maybe one day I'll have the insight into people you have, being capable of drawing up psychological profiles on what most would consider extremely insufficient source material...

 

[II Scarecrow II]

To quote Barney Stinson:

"You dumped a pornstar?! FRIENDSHIP OVER!!"

While I'd like to think I would be fine with it, and make it work, Promtheian Spark had some really great points...

 

[thepyrethatburns]

Here are the four scenarios that I came up with on finding out and my reaction (To an extent, freaky wouldn't matter unless it was something like bestiality porn):

1) I come home from work and she, showing some anxiety, tells me that she did porn (freaky or not):

My reaction: Eh, it is what it is and it's in the past.

2) Someone I know tells me that they saw a video of my wife doing porn and there is believable proof.

My reaction: Some "Dude, that's my wife" reactions but, otherwise, I would still be okay with it.

3) For some reason, it came up during the courtship and she lied about it THEN I found out.

My reaction: Here's where things get tricky because, if she actually lied about it when asked, then I'd wonder what else has she been lying about and how much I can really trust her. It's one thing to not volunteer the information but, if I directly ask and you lie, then it's going to be hard to convince me that there aren't other things that you've been lying to me about. This is not a deal breaker but this would be a big issue.

4) The doctor tells me "I don't know what you've been sticking it in but you have some weird mix of AIDS, herpes, and gonorrea. This is why your junk is grey and I think the left testicle is about to fall off."

My reaction: Gloves are off. If your past has put my physical life in jeopardy and you didn't have the goddamn courtesy to tell me that you may have caught something during the "5 midgets-one woman" scene, there is pretty much no forgiveness for that sort of thing. Divorce and possible lawsuit.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

The game is saying stuff that doesn't actually counter what someone else said, right?

This sentence, which I presume is typo addled, pretty much sums up this entire conversation. I have no idea what your position is, really. Either I'm tired, or you're expressing yourself poorly. I suppose we can split the difference and call it a miscommunication. I really don't have the energy to try and unravel this, I'm sorry.

Ah, upon further review, I see. You're accusing me of trolling you, or being unable to counterpoint you, or snzzzzzzzzz. I'm sorry. I just...I can't be bothered. You win! You saw through my clever ruse, or something. Well done.

I can take care of your inevitable reply for you as well. Perhaps something in the vein of "Just what someone who couldn't refute my incisive points would say", and then maybe follow it up with one of those sarcastic winking smileys to demonstrate unruffled superiority.

The truth shall set you free from the slavery of lies. Lies enslave your soul (or mind, or ID, whatever you choose to call it), they prevent you from being truly close to one another.

Oh noes! The slavery of lies!

That's some pretty high-minded rhetoric, pastor. I can't say I agree, but I wish you luck with your honesty in all situations policy.

Lol! I deal with this kinda drivel at work (Phd), and then I come home to wiki academics online. You know what, couldn't be bothered arguing with you.

A guy with a Phd should know why stating "I have a Phd, your argument is drivel!" is a bankrupt way to frame an argument. Unless your Phd is in marrying porn stars, you're not really an authority on the subject in question, and you're in no position to be peering down your nose at the perspectives of others.

1. You have sufficient life experience and have acquired a level of self knowledge that is free of denials, so that you are correct in surmising your response. In which case, good for you! Hows Nirvana Buddha?

2.You have insufficient life experience, or are plagued with denial, that you can state your response with great certainty without having any real insight into your actual response.

3.You say the hypothetical response that reflects you best. Like my friend. Like most people. Does this mean it isn't true? No. Only that you don't know if it is anymore than I do. Your words where automated.

I dated a woman who spent a brief period of time as a prostitute. Does that qualify as approximate life experience, Doctor? Is *my* perspective on it valid? Or do *I* also merit the sneering "How's Nirvana" response as well because my immediate reaction wasn't one of jealousy or rage?

I know wat ppl

Doctor, I protest. You are an educated man.

Now please, don't respond with your pseudo academia trash! Read, reflect, and if you must respond, less jargon, and more substance.

We certainly wouldn't want any pseudo-academic trash! Would sweeping generalizations apply?

As usual, the liberal, always nice guys responses. It would bother the fuck out of you all.

Its the human ego you see, and the male ego is the worst.

And so the decent into egomanical maddnness and jealousy would go. Until you hate your partner and, but more so yourself.

Before you all jump to respond, this is the cold truth that you either deny, or lack the relevant life experience to know.

Those are some rigorously supported assertions, Doctor. I hope you put a little more effort into your dissertation.

 

[PromethianSpark]

A Phd! Oh my god! If I had any doubts at all over the validity of what you're saying, which I most certainly did not, I would now be utterly convinced of your rightness. Everyone knows Phds are never wrong and that everyone claiming to be one on the internet clearly is.

And I'm so glad you know which category I'm in. Mind telling me? My endless insecurities clearly render me incapable of forming a coherent picture of myself and I must say I'm so very relieved that you're capable of surmising my personality from the grand total of 3 forum posts, but then again you are a Phd after all!

Such knowledge of people you have, knowing exactly who's going to make it and who isn't. Knowing from only a few lines of text on a forum exactly if people are just giving automated responses, if they're lying or actually telling the truth. But I forget again, no challenge at all for mister Phd.

If I only I were as smart as you clearly are. But alas, I am not a smart man. Maybe one day I'll have the insight into people you have, being capable of drawing up psychological profiles on what most would consider extremely insufficient source material...

Is sarcasm the only tool in your rhetorical repertoire? I know it can make you look like quite the 'man of the internet' when used as an opener, but really, paragraph after paragraph?

As for stating that I am a Phd, that was not bolster my argument, but merely to inform you that your jargon (which you clearly used to buy validity) was holding no sway over me. This argument isn't remotely academic, so no of that is relevant here.

Oh, but just to return to logical fallacies. No point bringing them up, when you are employing ad hominem rhetoric and discourse, devoid of any real substance. But keep up the sarcastic, 'witty', remarks internet-warrior.

 

[Evil Smurf]

When did I marry Faye Reagan?.......Nice!

Seriously though. I would watch more of her videos. I am not the type to hold a grudge or attack someone. I love and forgive people.

 

[PromethianSpark]

I dated a woman who spent a brief period of time as a prostitute. Does that qualify as approximate life experience, Doctor? Is *my* perspective on it valid? Or do *I* also merit the sneering "How's Nirvana" response as well because my immediate reaction wasn't one of jealousy or rage?

If this is so, and you where fine with it, then you fulfil the relevant criteria by way of life experience. Sorry, was that part too hard to understand, or where you too eager to jump on someone who spoke out against the (fabricated) consensus.

Doctor, I protest. You are an educated man.

Spelling police! Lol. Read about the function of language. Then research language and power. And then google symbolic violence. Then we will talk about this.

We certainly wouldn't want any pseudo-academic trash! Would sweeping generalizations apply?

That's some rigorously supported assertions, Doctor. I hope you put a little more effort into your dissertation.

Didn't realise posting on the escapist was like submitting a paper to a journal. Furthermore, I'm sure a greater body of academia would support a claim to an insecure, unstable, and jealous male ego. It is a prevalent aspect of patriarchy after all. I'm sorry, do you require references too?

 

[Hagi]

A Phd! Oh my god! If I had any doubts at all over the validity of what you're saying, which I most certainly did not, I would now be utterly convinced of your rightness. Everyone knows Phds are never wrong and that everyone claiming to be one on the internet clearly is.

And I'm so glad you know which category I'm in. Mind telling me? My endless insecurities clearly render me incapable of forming a coherent picture of myself and I must say I'm so very relieved that you're capable of surmising my personality from the grand total of 3 forum posts, but then again you are a Phd after all!

Such knowledge of people you have, knowing exactly who's going to make it and who isn't. Knowing from only a few lines of text on a forum exactly if people are just giving automated responses, if they're lying or actually telling the truth. But I forget again, no challenge at all for mister Phd.

If I only I were as smart as you clearly are. But alas, I am not a smart man. Maybe one day I'll have the insight into people you have, being capable of drawing up psychological profiles on what most would consider extremely insufficient source material...

Is sarcasm the only tool in your rhetorical repertoire? I know it can make you look like quite the 'man of the internet' when used as an opener, but really, paragraph after paragraph?

As for stating that I am a Phd, that was not bolster my argument, but merely to inform you that your jargon (which you clearly used to buy validity) was holding no sway over me. This argument isn't remotely academic, so no of that is relevant here.

Oh, but just to return to logical fallacies. No point bringing them up, when you are employing ad hominem rhetoric and discourse, devoid of any real substance. But keep up the sarcastic, 'witty', remarks internet-warrior.

Oh yes, that's me. Man of the internet. Warrior of the digital age. Armed with sarcasm.

I fear it's the only response possible to arguments as hilarious as yours. Surely, if you really are a Phd, you must know that generalizations of the kind you're making, that everyone here is clearly insecure and just saying what's expected of them, is downright comedic?

I mean come on, you can't possibly be that stupidly cynical if you've really had an academic education in psychology?

Seeing ego as the sole overruling explanation was stupid when Freud did it. It's still stupid now that you're doing it.

 

[Scow2]

I see this as a case of something she was ashamed about in the past, but didn't want to reveal to her husband-to-be at the time because early in a relationship, this kind of information's loaded with preconceptions and other things that can cause social rejection. Eventually, though, her conscience got the better of her, and she was certain she could trust disclosing the information to him - Having a nasty secret from the past creates a very awkward situation, since the information's so sensitive that you can't tell them it until you know you can trust them with that information, but by the time you know you can trust them with that information, it's obvious you could have trusted them from the start - while if you can never trust them with the information, you continue to keep it a secret.

 

[NeutralDrow]

I'd ask if we could watch her videos together. Maybe reenact some of the more plausible ones.

...what? Why would I be bothered? The guy in the article (if the OP was quoting right) was bothered over something his wife did when she was barely an adult, before they even met, eight years before their marriage, and since they've been married for five there's clearly been no lingering aftereffects of her former career. That's what I would call being "oversensitive." It's not like he found out she completed a sex change a week before they started dating.