Stupid things you believed as a kid

[DanielBrown]

I believed snow came from Saturnus rings for a while.
Can thank a retarded teacher, who didn't know kids doesn't understand sarcasm, for that.

 

[triggrhappy94]

I believed in Star Wars. This was in the period between 2 and 3, and I was still pretty young.
Being secretly special with some kind of hidden organization waiting for me to get older to tell just how special I was (like believing in Star Wars) was a common theme in my day dreams as a kid.

 

[triggrhappy94]

When I was little my parents told me that toothpaste was poisonous and swallowing any would make me sick. It made brushing my teeth a very stressful experience for several years.

Wait, but isn't floride poisoness? There's something in touthpaste you're not supposed to eat a lot off, because there are poison control warnings on it.

 

[Dangit2019]

I used to think that all environmentalists wiped their ass with their finger to save paper.

That's what happens when you brainwash your child with political messages they don't understand.

 

[thiosk]

That everything is composed of some sort of tiny indivisible units and that life builds on itself, changing and adapting to new circumstances, over billions of years.

I now know and understand that its all a grand masonic conspiracy to take our guns away. FREEDOM

 

[Ix Rebound]

i believed that hiccups made you taller (and im ashamed for how long i believed that)
i also believed that seagulls grew to be pelicans, pokemon style
if someone injected me with lizard DNA and doused me in radiation, i would turn into godzilla!

 

[Snownine]

i had a female friend who was unaware that men and women had different sexual organs until she was 18
the way she found out was a male friend of hers convinced her his job was "banana bender" and made her reach into his pants to prove it

that is a 100% true story and the lady in question is far from mentally challenged, she just led a sheltered life

This post deeply saddens me. That is a massive fail on the part of her family and it also speaks volumes about her. How could anyone be so imperceptive of the world they live in?

Edit: OT: When I was a kid I thought gay men had sex by rubbing their penises together.

 

[krazykidd]

If you were going to Antarctica you had to wear suction cups on your feet or you'd fall into space. Also that the world was a hollow sphere of water and when you were under the ocean, you were inside the Earth. Both at age 4. I also wanted to be a tiger when I grew up.

We'll call you " Tiger festival" !

OT: My friend at school convinced me he was a triplet , and every day at school one of his brothers replace him. Their names were cene , ceno and cena.

 

[TheAmokz]

I thought that dragons used to exist but had been hunted down to extinction by humans.

 

[Angie7F]

I was scared to flush the toilet because I though I will fall into it or something. LOL

 

[Auron225]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

 

[Ultress]

I thought that since I could see the people on the TV that they could see me

When my mom turned forty she told me she was thirty and I believed her because I'd never given a crap about how old she was till then.

 

[Ieyke]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

It doesn't help Christians that so many of them literally believe so strongly in the veritable nonsense that fills so much of the Bible. A great many other religious groups will tend to admit that they believe in their deities, but the actual stories themselves are something they regard as mere parables, no more true than Aesop's Fables - simply fairy tales designed to succinctly illustrate a point and teach a lesson.

And then there are Christian extremists who run around spouting off enough annoying nonsense that they'd be put down, were it not illegal.

Honestly, no, it's not ignorant or malicious to dismiss Christianity as stupid when it boils right down to it.
There are so many things illogical and self-contradicting in many of the most fundamental concepts. Though the same can be said for pretty much all organized/semi-organised religions and their various myths.
The notion of gods and divine powers, fine. Nothing you can prove remotely wrong or silly in the overall idea, but the more and more elaborate a religion gets, and the more claims its mythology makes, the easier it is to find all the ways it simply doesn't line up with logic and reality, and the ways in which it is self-contradicting.

I have no criticisms of Christians who essentially just believe in the lessons that Bible parables are designed to teach, and that there might be an all-powerful being that is ultimately responsible for the physical laws that govern the universe.

The same can be said about Hellenists. If they believe in the lessons taught in Greek myths, and maybe that the universe is ultimately run by gods that embody hundreds of personified concepts and phenomena, so be it. The ones who believe the Earth suffered through the Titanomachia and that winter happens because Demeter misses Persephone....that's daft.

 

[Auron225]

It doesn't help Christians that so many of them literally believe so strongly in the veritable nonsense that fills so much of the Bible. A great many other religious groups will tend to admit that they believe in their deities, but the actual stories themselves are something they regard as mere parables, no more true than Aesop's Fables - simply fairy tales designed to succinctly illustrate a point and teach a lesson.

And then there are Christian extremists who run around spouting off enough annoying nonsense that they'd be put down, were it not illegal.

Honestly, no, it's not ignorant or malicious to dismiss Christianity as stupid when it boils right down to it.
There are so many things illogical and self-contradicting in many of the most fundamental concepts. Though the same can be said for pretty much all organized/semi-organised religions and their various myths.
The notion of gods and divine powers, fine. Nothing you can prove remotely wrong or silly in the overall idea, but the more and more elaborate a religion gets, and the more claims its mythology makes, the easier it is to find all the ways it simply doesn't line up with logic and reality, and the ways in which it is self-contradicting.

I have no criticisms of Christians who essentially just believe in the lessons that Bible parables are designed to teach, and that there might be an all-powerful being that is ultimately responsible for the physical laws that govern the universe.

The same can be said about Hellenists. If they believe in the lessons taught in Greek myths, and maybe that the universe is ultimately run by gods that embody hundreds of personified concepts and phenomena, so be it. The ones who believe the Earth suffered through the Titanomachia and that winter happens because Demeter misses Persephone....that's daft.

At what point did I prove myself to be a christian extremist? You cannot treat every christian you meet like one. Its stereotyping to assume all christians are like that. There is a very good reason to not assume all black people steal - it's called racism. Much like there is a fantastic reason to not treat any christian you meet like they're trying to shove the bible down your throat and burn gay people for fun - that one is sectarianism. They both have something in common - unprovoked, irrational hatred to a group of people for unacceptable reasons. I know that there are christian extremists but in my mind, a lot of them aren't christian. Anybody can call themselves christian and do things in the name of it but a lot of them are missing the point. The extremists are the ones who are on the news so they are the only ones society gets to see in action - precisely because they ARE extreme and doing something news worthy. Something that usually isn't looked upon kindly by anyone. Nobody thinks of the charity work done by many when they think of christians - only as people who tell you you're going to hell and as priests that molest children. You're judging millions of individuals based on the actions of a few.

(Also, I know non-christians and people of all religions do charity work - I'm not claiming its exclusive to christianity. However, a lot christians do charity work as it's woven into the belief very heavily.)

Look at it this way; if in the original post "The Christian God" was replaced with "Muslim Beliefs", would it still look harmless? What about "Buddhism" or "Islam"? Even Athiests defend their beliefs but when its christianity? Not a chance. Someone in a crowd need only mention they're a christian and they'd get verbally or emotionally assaulted.

And in any case, to insult someone and make fun of what they believe in ANY religion is just being an asshole. It doesn't matter what it is - there is NEVER a good reason to do it.

 

[Arakasi]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

But it is very clearly stupid. I don't give a single shit if it is held dear by millions, it's wrong, morally abhorrent and bad influence on many people.
As for me being ignorant and malicious, again, I have put great thought into this, I am no two-bit dime store athesit who can spouse nothing but hatred. Hell, I've done a university theology course in the psychology of religion wherein I primarily focused on Christianity, and the lecturer (who happened to be a Christian Priest) found my insight facinating.
The reason I was tollerated by the priest/lecturer was that I was not malicious towards the people of the religion, but instead I see the people as victims of their religion, worthy of help and/or pity.
I don't hate religious people. I am disgusted with religion.

As for picking specifically on Christianity, it's difficult not to, seeing how in a Western country it is the one I am bombarded with the most, believe me when I say I hold equal, if not more, contempt for Islam.
Also, sexism and racism is far from over, you may want to rexamine your views on that.

 

[Auron225]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

But it is very clearly stupid. I don't give a single shit if it is held dear by millions, it's wrong, morally abhorrent and bad influence on many people.
As for me being ignorant and malicious, again, I have put great thought into this, I am no two-bit dime store athesit who can spouse nothing but hatred. Hell, I've done a university theology course in the psychology of religion wherein I primarily focused on Christianity, and the lecturer (who happened to be a Christian Priest) found my insight facinating.
The reason I was tollerated by the priest/lecturer was that I was not malicious towards the people of the religion, but instead I see the people as victims of their religion, worthy of help and/or pity.
I don't hate religious people. I am disgusted with religion.

As for picking specifically on Christianity, it's difficult not to, seeing how in a Western country it is the one I am bombarded with the most, believe me when I say I hold equal, if not more, contempt for Islam.
Also, sexism and racism is far from over, you may want to rexamine your views on that.

In your opinion it is very clearly stupid. Once again - this is not a matter of intelligence. Many scientists, doctors, heck people of all professions alive today are christians and to call them stupid is ridiculous. It is not a mental disorder and it's not something told by parents (as your first post implies) to get their children to behave. Surely going to church and bringing your kids there every week couldn't possibly be worth it when the whole Santa thing does it just as well, if not better. No offence, but you've demonstrated absolutely no knowledge of christianity in the slightest thus far so I'm having a hard time believing the theological degree. Even if you did have one, it doesn't give you the right to be an obnoxious asshole who mocks others beliefs. There is no level of intellect one can achieve where that is allowed.

Did your lecturer become an athiest? If not then there may be a reason.

You still don't get a free pass to pick on christians whenever you feel like it. Tell you what - when a christian tells you that you are going to burn in hell, then you can insult them and tell them why they are wrong and debate about it until you're both blue in the face. Let me emphasize, you may insult only the christian that insulted you - not ALL christians. Once again - that is sectarianism and it is not a good thing.

 

[Arakasi]

3. The Christian God - Believing in a nigh omniscient patriarch who punishes you for being naughty and rewards you for being nice. Silly parents, that's not a good way to get your children to act good.

*slow clap*

Congratulations - we got a whole 0 posts without unnecessary sectarianism -.-

I was under the impression I put one hell of a lot of thought into what I accept as reality.
But I guess you do know more about me than I do.

There is no defence for this - christianity is a belief held by millions and to dismiss it as stupid is ignorant and malicious. If you're not a christian, then fine - but you don't have to spit in the face of those who are when you haven't even been provoked. It amazes me how racism is shunned, we're so far past sexism that we actually still joke about it since we all know it's gone; yet its practically a sport to target christians with as much hatred as possible. Not even other religions so much - nope, just that one is fine.

But it is very clearly stupid. I don't give a single shit if it is held dear by millions, it's wrong, morally abhorrent and bad influence on many people.
As for me being ignorant and malicious, again, I have put great thought into this, I am no two-bit dime store athesit who can spouse nothing but hatred. Hell, I've done a university theology course in the psychology of religion wherein I primarily focused on Christianity, and the lecturer (who happened to be a Christian Priest) found my insight facinating.
The reason I was tollerated by the priest/lecturer was that I was not malicious towards the people of the religion, but instead I see the people as victims of their religion, worthy of help and/or pity.
I don't hate religious people. I am disgusted with religion.

As for picking specifically on Christianity, it's difficult not to, seeing how in a Western country it is the one I am bombarded with the most, believe me when I say I hold equal, if not more, contempt for Islam.
Also, sexism and racism is far from over, you may want to rexamine your views on that.

In your opinion it is very clearly stupid.

I wasn't aware reality was an opinion, but okay.

Once again - this is not a matter of intelligence. Many scientists, doctors, heck people of all professions alive today are christians and to call them stupid is ridiculous.

To believe in something without any good evidence whatsoever is practically the definition of stupid. They are simply indoctrinated, I cannot blame them for their beliefs, but I can, and most certainly will call them up on it.

It is not a mental disorder-

Not that I'm saying it is, but that is very arguable.

-and it's not something told by parents (as your first post implies) to get their children to behave.

...Yeah. It is.
I went to a Christian school from years 7-10. It is a commonly implied threat.

Surely going to church and bringing your kids there every week couldn't possibly be worth it when the whole Santa thing does it just as well, if not better.

I'd argue the Santa thing isn't effective either, you know you'll get presents anyway and it isn't permanent, it only really works in the holiday period as a threat, whereas the niggling feeling in the back of your head that you'll be going to hell for doing X is non-reliant on holiday timing.

No offence-

Haha. I'm going to skip over that one.

-but you've demonstrated absolutely no knowledge of christianity in the slightest thus far so I'm having a hard time believing the theological degree.

1. I have not needed to, in this thread, show off any knowledge I may or may not have about the subject of Christianity.
2. I also never said I had a theological degree, re-read my post.

Even if you did have one, it doesn't give you the right to be an obnoxious asshole who mocks others beliefs. There is no level of intellect one can achieve where that is allowed.

I have every right to be an obnoxious asshole to whoever I want. I have a freedom of speech, and it will not be impeached. Not that in this case I think I am being an obnoxious asshole, I was merely pointing out the similarities in my childhood beliefs, and you took it out of hand.

Did your lecturer become an athiest? If not then there may be a reason.

No, and I asked him why. I got nothing more than an evasive answer that he still believed.
I am inclined to believe that deep down he is an atheist but is unwilling to admit that he wasted a fair portion of his life.

You still don't get a free pass to pick on christians whenever you feel like it. Tell you what - when a christian tells you that you are going to burn in hell, then you can insult them and tell them why they are wrong and debate about it until you're both blue in the face. Let me emphasize, you may insult only the christian that insulted you - not ALL christians. Once again - that is sectarianism and it is not a good thing.

Christianity itself has damaged me more than you can know. Which is why I attack the faith, not the people.

EDIT: We should really stop derailing this thread with this irrelevant discussion, if you wish to make a thread about it, so be it, I will reply to you there, if not, this is all I have to say on the matter.

 

[Hazzard]

I use to believe anyone who's eyes were too close together was a catholic.
I use to believe that everyone was a cyborg and it was decided at random when you became one, so one day after an injury when you're wheeled off to hospital useless bits of you were taken off and replaced with robot bits and people in wheelchairs and on crutches were just recovering.
That if you hated something bad enough then a place in hell appeared for that crime, like people who park badly or don't return library books on time.
The whole everyone lived in black and white until about the 60's.

 

[AdamxD]

Was genuinely convinced that toys did actually come back to life for about a year after many viewing of Toy Story at like, the age of four.

 

[Joriss]

Now that I think about it, I believed a wacky thing as a kid: I thought the stages of Street Fighter II were the exact presentation of the countries. Meaning I thought the USA was just made out of docks, airports & flashy clubs. And that Brazil was a huge jungle where only poor people and green monsters lived, or that China was just a village where everyone rode bicycles, or Spain that only had fancy clubs with giant cages and was always dark...