Some of the things on that list are instantly recognizable, some are a bit archaic, but some are both. How do you think (if at all) so-called sex positivity can change this culture? Or conversely even affirm it?
Super straight on tiktok
- Thread starter dreng3
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Sounds like a bunch of prejudices against straight people instead of a proper description of their beliefs.
How about trying to find a single person on the whole board sharing even half of those ideas ? If they were common in straight culture, that should be easy.
Why would we admit it? Okay, some of those are close to being pillars of heteronormativity like
For most of the rest we can (should) all be able to imagine situations where it is like that even if it hasn't been so for us personally. Like, I wouldn't personally equate sex to penetration, but generally if a guy says they've had sex with a girl that's what they mean. Another example is that
I really don't think is generally true at least anymore, thus the culture can change. edit: and of course we mustn't forget that fertility is an actual inescapable thing about heterosexuality that puts certain limits to it.
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Why hide it if you believe it is true and nothing is wrong with that belief ?
And there is a reason why i specified "half of them" in the challenge because i do believe as well that the baby making and penetration thing are somewhat whidespread But most of the rest seems at least half a century out of date as far as mainstream goes. I really don't think you will find even one straight person here that shares the majority of those ideas let alone a majority of straight persons sharing most of them. So I conclude that that description does not depict "straight culture", only "prejudices against straight people".
It sounds an awful lot like they're getting their ideas of straight sex from porno. Like we're all fucking our stuck step-sister, or spying on our step-mon in the shower, or trying to bang the head cheerleader regardless of age difference, and its all just a build up to a moneyshot after which the scene just fades to black.
Views of the inescapable warped straight sex culture, brought to you by Brazzers and in association with all the horny single MILFs in your area.
Oh dear. Let's get to it then.
Not personally but culturally yes.
I'm tempted to say this isn't true, because assertive female sexuality can fit into it, BUT it is generally seen and talked about as deviant behavior.
Further info required to comment on this. If it's "unacknowledged" and all...
You could say this is inescapable because men generally want more sex and get off quicker.
Completely agree.
Another that I don't quite understand. If it's about virgin shaming then agreed.
Yep. Increasingly more so, imo.
Elaboration needed.
This one I'd contest.
Pretty much.
That's over half of them. One I disagree with and two I'd like clarified.
It's certainly less true than it was, but.... well, drop into r/sex sometime. It's good for a laugh, which is obviously the only reason I would ever go there, ahem. But there's some depressing insights there as well. The sheer number of wives and girlfriends saying their partners just finish, then roll over and go to sleep, without a second thought about whether the woman has finished.
Not quite "inescapable". It could be escaped by people not being selfish assholes, for instance.
Sure, my mind went to depictions in the (not porn) media. Were I in the "losing" end of those relationships I'd find satisfaction elsewhere.
It would have to go both ways. Try to strike a balance in that! But seriously, it's tied to culture in many ways. Sexual therapy is getting more and more popular these days, maybe there is good to be done.
Wait wait wait. Are we really taking the performative acting that is porno and internalizing it to represent all of straight sex culture, and assuming that's a healthy and accurate representation of straight sex culture? By that logic might as well watch Boyz in the Hood and assume that's what black culture is like.
Is straight porno sex about a woman pleasing a man? Yes, yes it is, I won't debate that. But its also fantasy acting with the target audience being men masturbating. The women are not really the male actor's step sister. Male doctors aren't really diagnosing nynphomania and prescribing their penises. There is merit to the idea some men watch porno and assume it to be the idealized sexual relationship, but the very fact they're watching it and fantasying about it means they're not recreating/living it. You don't fantasize about something you're actually doing.
As far as the idea that sex can be more than a penis penetrating, yes I fully agree. Some men are terrible lovers. However how is that unique to straight sex culture? Surely gay men engage in penis penetration, and gay men can be terrible lovers. The concept of a man only caring about his penis and where its going isn't singular to straight sex. Yes a lot of men tie in their ability to preform, penis size and rigidness while erect, stamina, ejaculation size and instances of erectile disfunction to their masculinity and male "soul" for lack of a better word. These men are silly, and these believes are deeply unhealthy. But they are not limited solely to the straight male culture.
The idea women use sex as a bargaining chip in a relationship. Personally I've never seen it, and that may mean my relationship partners have been above average for women. So I can concede the point as being unhealthy without my awareness. Again however, are we saying that this is limited to straight sex? Lesbian couples don't engage in this? Only straight women can use sex as a means to an end? Or have power imbalances?
As far as religious/older sexually active people, yeah they had a bad run of things. They're from groups notoriously anti-sex, who view sex as only a means to make a baby, and the female orgasm as at best a myth, if not a downright sin. That's a terrible and unhealthy view of sex. And its like I've said over and again, taking an abusive unhealthy view of sex and extrapolating it to encompass an entire groups views and practices of sex is a unhealthy and bigoted view.
You twist what is said into something else (equating sex with penetration becomes "some men are terrible lovers") and then go "what about the queers"?
Also the least self-aware paragraph I've seen in a long while:
OH! So gay men don't engage in penetrative intercourse, boy my definitions are really out of date. What do they do these days? I mean it can't be oral or anal sex, that involves pentation.
Also don't put gay slurs in my mouth, I thought you understood that you're supposed to ask and get consent first.
As for self aware, you know I'm not older or religious right? And I'm not the one whose the bigot or espousing bigoted beliefs under the guise of...well to be honest I don't know what you're doing anymore 'cause it seems to be nonsensical word vomit. But I am a generous guy, so I'll let you try again to form a point.
I do love me some of that pentation.
Nah, I already made up my mind. You can't be reasoned with. I can't dig a hole deep enough to lower myself down to your level of discourse. I'd be breaking ground down under.
So wait do gay men engage in penetrative intercourse or not? Also good on you for not using slurs this time!
Also pro-tip: If you want to reason with someone, you have to bring reason to a debate. A non-reasonable point of view, such as inescapable warped straight sex, doesn't get taken seriously or those who agree with it because they're already acknowledging a bigoted inflexible position based on personal belief and expecting everyone else to disprove a negative. Its basically what Trumpers/QAnon people practice, and its long been seen as a lack of standing in a debate and merely a way to attempt to derail.
I don't have unlimited time and patience. Within the confines of this forum it's impossible to try to address all the wrong turns you have taken during this exchange. We'd have to set up a call (with a mediator).
Wrong turns? What? OH! The unanswered questions! Yeah I fully admit a lot of what you guys argue are dead ends, but its not our fault that's where your stream of thought goes. If you want a conversation to go in a direction its probably best not to derail it with nonsensical beliefs, and sweeping statements.
Also where did we land on male/male gay sex? You still haven't given me a straight answer, legit no pun intended.
Define "straight sex".
Again, I'm not talking about the act of sex itself. I'm talking about straight sexual culture, they're different things. Straight sexual culture is incredibly disturbing and abusive, and someone who buys into that culture is likely to end up having abusive relationships.
That's literally my experience of straight people.
If I were to describe to you the sum total of my personal sexual experience with straight people, both men and women actually, the best analogy I can come up with is that it's like patting an abused dog, except the dog is smart enough to resent the person who petted it for the power implied in that gesture. These are not people who were consciously aware of having had abusive relationships, the problem is that normal heterosexual relationships generally contain unacknowledged abuse.
The reason I avoid dating straight people is not because I'm worried they're going to turn abusive, it's because I don't want to be the person responsible for rescuing them from heterosexuality. It's a remarkably unfun position to be in, and a terrible basis for an equitable relationship.
So you fully admit your straight sex world view is based entirely off abusive relationships and you internalized that to mean all straight sex is abusive? And that works for you? You don't see any problem with that? Instead of realizing you were with abusive people, you just went with they're all abusive, full stop, and that doesn't sound the prejudice alarms in your head? Seriously? Were any of them of a different race? Wanna throw a different race under the bus while you're at it?
Also "rescuing them from heterosexuality" is a horrific phrase and you should really work on that. Religious people have been trying to rescue gay men from their homosexuality for decades, and no one thinks of them as in the right.
Infertility is a gray area that nobody is going to make a black and white judgment on. I think you can reasonably suggest that a person who knows they cannot have children could have more to give with another vocation rather than tying themselves to the obligations in which one raises a family. I don't know how many people go into marriage knowingly infertile though.
Not intending to have kids is less of a gray area. Catholic marriage implies openness to having children. The Church doesn't want to confer blessings on those who would give their life wholly to another person and then purposefully achieve no further purpose with the union. That's just tying off a dead end. If anything, that's less acceptable than gay marriage, because a gay couple can wish to have children even if the biology doesn't work out. But the wanting kids rule is not a rule that can really be enforced without mind reading, so ya know, honor system.