Teaching kids about homosexuality

[101flyboy]

How many of these 'more often than not' cases have you encountered?

Let's see here: me, my sister, my sister's ex girlfriend, and another one of my sister's friends.

That said, I know a few who didn't "switch" either.

Please educate yourself on the facts of sexual orientation.

 

[kickyourass]

Let me try and be as plain as possible, no matter what you do or say talking to your kids about sex is going to be awkward. Once you've come to grips with that please continue reading.

Now, since it's already going to be awkward for everyone involved, there really isn't any reason to NOT teach them about things other then man-woman relationships, if they're old enough to learn about that, they're old enough to learn about (almost) everything else. If you're just teaching them the mechanics of reproduction then ok, since man-woman is sorta the only way to do that with out getting other people involved, but other then that you really don't have much of an excuse.

 

[101flyboy]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

I agree with this 100%.

It all comes down to the parent's decisions though, and they chose to have the child so its their burden and their choice on how to act on these matters. And it really isn't anyone else's business

innocentEX's post is both articulated offensively and utterly ridiculous. You're screwing with your child if you don't give them the talk at an incredibly pre-pubescent age. You're evidently offended by the idea of children being exposed to the idea of homosexuality, something which is bigoted. YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE GAY, YOU ****. PEOPLE ARE BORN GAY. SO WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MATTER WHEN A CHILD IS EXPOSED TO HOMOSEXUALITY?!?!

/end rant.

I was more so agreeing about how he was going to handle telling the child when the child chooses to bring it up. I don't really understand why you are getting so riled up by my opinion. I am sorry I may have offended you and but this is how I will raise my children. The way your post came across is as if you didn't read the whole part in the OP's post that says "it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents." and "The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.".

These two statements support the growth of the child's sexuality whether heterosexual or homosexual.

I also never mentioned that I thought children could catch 'gay', I merely would like to bring up my children thinking that the normal way that humans as a species find love is between a man and a women. As this is the normal. I won't ever pressure this on the child just inform them that this is why most men and women live together. And if my child asks why homosexuals live together I will inform them that they live together for the same reasons that men and women do.

EDIT: I see you edited your post to sound less offensive and all your hate is aimed at the first poster, I guess that kind of makes my rebuttle kinda redundant. Also since when is 7, just before puberty? I thought most girls enter puberty around 10-14 and for guys its 12-14.

Translation: I don't want gay/lesbian kids and I will do everything in my power to avoid it. Being gay is abnormal and beneath heterosexuality.

 

[101flyboy]

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

I wasn't told about any relationships when I was growing up. My parents simply never discussed that stuff with me - ever. I shudder to think what sort of conversation might have transpired had I ever brought the issue up. Luckily I managed to figure everything out more or less on my own thanks to discovering friend's pornographic magazines. There was no Internet porn back in my day, and to be honest I think the Internet makes sex ed on the basic hetero/homo mechanical level kind of redundant.

Studies show that the best way for kids to develop sexually is having their parents teaching them about it. Learning from a porno mag is not healthy. Because porn is not real sex and it objectifies sex, the human body, etc. And that will give kids a very mixed up view on basically the entire situation. Please do not believe I am saying you're mixed up, but no, that isn't something that should be encouraged or accepted as OK.

 

[101flyboy]

Don't tell her what isn't necessary. Don't go explaining to her the nuances and details of relationships, but tell her what she asks. Birds and bees, that's heterosexual.

When she asks 'mommy? can 2 women cuddle like that too?'
The parent should answer along the lines of 'yes, but you get no babies that way.'

stay neutral. Let your child get his own opinion.

What if that opinion is negative? What if that opinion is learned from another kid? What if that opinion is learned from accidentally watching sex on the computer? Teaching your kids nothing is keeping your kids ignorant, and ignorant kids make ignorant decisions.

 

[101flyboy]

I probably wouldn't. Unless I see statistics to the contrary where half of the male/female population is gay, the child ending up being gay is a unique circumstance IMO. Nothing wrong with it, but it's complicated as it is with out bringing it up, handle it as it comes, I say.

Most people have same-sex thoughts. And, it doesn't even have to be about the kid being gay, but the world around them, that there are people who are gay. It's not something you can avoid, or pretend doesn't exist. And it isn't complicated. It may be for you, but in reality, it's just the fact some men like men, some women like women. And that's all you need to say to your kids.

 

[101flyboy]

People who say "I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HOMOSEXUALITY" actually do have something against homosexuality. If you don't have an issue with homosexuality, you wouldn't need to qualify it like that's somehow a surprise. It would be just like "gay.........OK." Saying "I don't have a problem with it" is more or less saying that there is a problem with it, but you choose not to hold that problem, even though it's there.

So that's the biggest issue needing to be addressed. Heterosexist homophobia, and a lot of you are heterosexist homophobes, and you don't even recognize it.

 

[101flyboy]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

you're sister's right. the appropriate thing is to teach what children experience on a day to day basis - if her child were to encounter a homosexual, then teaching may be of value - but by in large not only is the child not developed enough to understand it conceptually, it would simply be inappropriate because the child wouldn't be able to logically process what it means to be homosexual. Essentially, this means its irrelevant or information the child would not use "wisely" (ie - the child may make inappropriate gestures at school, such as calling a classmate gay, or thinking she's gay because most of her friends are females). It's just something that's hardly relevant to a seven year old, particularly one who has no homosexual influences in her life (and thus wouldn't understand it).

If, say, the girl came from a homosexual family or the girl's mother had homosexual friends, then she should be taught - but only because then she could appreciate it.

This sort of thing isn't just limited to homosexual relationships. Children don't learn about the concept of death until they experience some form of it (for example, a gold fish or pet dies; maybe a grandparent), but frankly, I would think death is more important to learn about than homosexuality; but the same principle applies.

Excuse me, but there is no process in learning "what it means to be homosexual." There isn't any complicated philosophical explanation, it's very simple. Some men like men, some women like women. I mean, it's not as if a kid is going to automatically understand heterosexuality MORE than homosexuality whatsoever. They may say "that guy and girl are together." These are kids, they aren't 20. Gay is not a process, and if you teach kids about heterosexuality, than the same things apply with a kid potentially saying "Oh look, Jane and Joe are walking together, they are with each other, hahahaha." Saying it's not relevant is false, because the fact is, that 7 year old may end up gay/lesbian. Most kids have same-sex thoughts, and homosexuality is an every day part of life. Hiding from discussing it is creating a culture of stigma around it, and that is what leads to homophobia.

It's not as if homosexuality is radically different than heterosexuality. All of the same concepts apply to both cases, the only difference is the procreation aspect, the fact one is more common than the other, and that's it.

 

[101flyboy]

Yes, without a doubt. To only teach such children about the side that they feel is "appropriate", or to prolong telling them about it until a later time, would be akin to teaching them that it is wrong or unnatural in some way, especially when they are later surrounded by people who use the term incorrectly but are aware of the definition it holds (and the last thing we need is more teenagers who use the word "gay" like the end-all solution to all insults instead of realizing and respecting another lifestyle held by a group of people).

gay was started as an insult; in fact to use it in it's appropriate, proper term is to say, "That's gay." because the two original means for gay were: unusual, near-deviant happiness; and wanton, unnecessary, or strange actions/behaviors. Homosexuals were called gay for both of those reasons in a derogatory way. It's akin to black people demanding everyone call them ******, even though that was a derogatory term white slave holders used for them. It doesn't make any sense. I personally feel the term "gay" has been hijacked by homosexuals and should be used appropriately (meaning its traditional phrases). However, barring that, the term should be eliminated altogether. I personally believe homosexuals are disrespecting themselves by using it, and thus, I do not use it to refer to homosexuals whatsoever.

Homosexuals is a clinical, cold term, and does not define gay individuals, whose lives revolve around more than their sex acts. And yes, gay was an insult, and yes, the gays DID take the word and flip it and stand strong behind it. That's a positive. Times change, words change. But it isn't as if gay isn't still used negatively. It is. And that's a problem.

 

[Sneeze]

They shouldn't be "taught" it anymore than they are "taught" about straight relationships, just learn from experience and influences around them. Friends, family, and more to the point - media. It's slowly fixing itself now but 5-10 years ago if a gay kiss was show pre-watershed there'd be a massive controversy with it. If it was just represented in the same why straight relationships are all the time on TV and in Movies then children would just grow up under the impression it was normal, not something they find out about later on in life, by that point its weird.

What I'm trying to say is if it was just integrated into society as a "norm" there'd be no need to teach it.

 

[101flyboy]

I totally don't see why not.
Hell, it would've helped me out a bit... (Gay teenager here)

but whether or not your homosexual would have been irrelevant as a 7 year old (or at least most 7 yr olds).

What I think should be done with people your age, is when parents have "the talk" when kids are between 10-13, they should throw in homosexuality, etc.

Interestingly, I've found most homosexuals come from families who are completely open to it or completely against it. So it would be interesting to see how many kids would "turn out" to be homosexual after that discussion. (I am not saying that homosexual is a choice, but I do not believe it's purely genetic [my research into the matter has proven that such a thought is naive]; instead, it require a genetic predisposition mixed with how a person was nurtured... this, by and large, is how individual human personalities and preferences are typically made, I have found no reason to assume homosexuality is different).

Whether or not a person is straight is irrelevant at 7 too, then. One can't be relevant and the other irrelevant. If you're saying one is irrelevant because people don't recognize their sexuality until such and such age, what's the difference between heterosexuality and homosexuality?

Your "research" is basically nothing more than sweeping generalizations. Everyone has different experiences.

Lastly, no-one turns out homosexual.
http://psychcentral.com/news/2008/06/30/genetics-and-environment-shape-sexual-orientation/2522.html

Learn the facts.

 

[101flyboy]

tbh at that age (7) I think homosexuality is going to be harder for them to understand, whereas people have this enforced idea of what families are like from their own and those of their friends. I don't think it's particularly homophobic. It's like the time a guy wrote in a newspaper article about my home town saying it was racist and one reason given was that his kids (both under 11) hadn't been taught about the civil rights movement in history. Firstly this is stupid because the government sets the syllabus and is therefore the same across the country and secondly at that age kids wont be able to understand it adequetely, which is why it is taught at GCSE level (15/16). I feel the same idea applies. Although I definitely would tell them before 15, just not at age 7.

What's hard to understand about homosexuality? Some men like men. Some women like women. It's very simple. Ignoring it or not discussing it, is what will cause the confusion, because when kids see it, or potentially feel it, they wouldn't understand.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

No I wouldnt. See hetrosexuality, is pretty much the whole "where do babies come from" thing, telling her about homosexualit would be "well that man/woman likes having sex with men/women because he/she thinks its fun". I would tell the kid to answer the question about sex, but if you say sex is something people do for fun, well it might encourage the kid, hich is bad. They will learn sex is fun at a safe age, 7 is not a safe age. Hope I explained properly.

Oh. People are gay because they just like to have fun indiscriminate sex. Interesting.

Talking about sex lets see gay people cant have kids, so that leaves sex for fun. If you leave out the sex part fine, but im pretty sure that this topic is talking about sex therefore you cant really leave it out.

..We are inferring that homosexuals cannot haven't sex for the sake of love and intimacy now, like everyone else (header: even heterosexual sexual relations are not always about the child, or even the possibility of one, even)? Simply "fun"?

Really?

 

[101flyboy]

I'm really surprised by these responses, half of you guys have no idea how much not being educated about homosexuality can mess people up. And all this about being taught by parents or friends is a load of crap.

Heteronormality. Heterosexism. Heterosexuals who can only look at things through their perspective, and think they are right, because they're straight, and "normal."

 

[101flyboy]

No. Mostly because, I don't think they quite understand the concept of homosexuality at that age.

Do they understand the concept of heterosexuality?

 

[101flyboy]

And as has been said before, unless they're born aiming in that direction, i don't think it should be encouraged.

Translation: Being gay is less good and acceptable compared to being straight, and thus kids should only know about heterosexuality. Being gay shouldn't be encouraged. All kids should be straight.

 

[101flyboy]

snip

Nope. Let them learn when they have to. I mean, we talk about the birds and the bees to small children (7? Seriously?) when we want them to know about how babies are made. Which just so happens to be (outside of unnatural conditions, IVF) in a heterosexual relationship.

Let the child learn about SEXUALITY when every other child does, as a young teenager who suddenly realised that girls (or boys as the case might me) aren't gross any more and they're actually quite attractive.

See, you're getting human reproduction and sexuality mixed up, as if they are both taught to a child at the same time. Not cool.

You can't teach about babies without teaching about sex. You can't teach about sex without teaching sexuality. You can't teach about the realities of sexuality without the fact that homosexuality exists smacking you in the face.

 

[101flyboy]

Its impossible to teach children about Homosexuality without someone making fun of you.

Um................what?

 

[101flyboy]

Never understood the meaning of these "talks".

It's called education.

 

[Scarecrow]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I feel sorry for people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

And I feel sorry for you. I'm so so sorry.