Teaching kids about homosexuality

[Woodsey]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

You don't encourage something just because you're informed about it. You'll encourage people to be OK with who they are, you won't make them gay (man that phrase is laughable).


OT: Of course it should be taught. You don't even have to do it pro-actively, just have it there as a regular thing. That way you get people who just see a couple, as opposed to a gay couple.

 

[VanityGirl]

Why are they telling a 7 year old about sex? Did the child ask where babies came from?

I've always been told that you tell kids about the birds and bees when they ask the "Where do babies come from question?" (Or when you catch them with porn in their room! XD)

But to solve the gender dilema: Just say "When two people love each other very much..." then blamo! Problem solved.

 

[BrionJames]

No. Mostly because, I don't think they quite understand the concept of homosexuality at that age.

 

[Vivace-Vivian]

One of the main reasons for discrimination is a lack of understanding. Teaching someone about homosexuality won?t make them gay. Do you really think my mom taught me about homosexuality? No.

And yet.

 

[Dexiro]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

The same goes for the opposite- The kid will learn soon enough, and probably ask her parents about it- then they should tell her, naturally, as unbiased as they can. If she later finds out she is indeed actually queer, it would be better if she does not have any subconscious issues with it inherited from her parents.

But still, they should not be handled equally, as heterosexuality is still the norm- and the natural way to reproduce. If the children are gay, they will probably find it out themselves. The important thing is to then make sure they are neither ashamed or feel otherwise repressed.

That's the complete wrong way to go about it. You know how troubling it can be for kids that happen to be gay when they haven't been educated on the matter? It can make their life living hell for years.
They can be in denial for years thinking they're a bad person by default because they've only heard about it from friends, or even worse if they don't learn what being gay is at all soon enough it can really mess them up. And this is all over something completely natural.

Then you have kids that aren't gay growing up thinking it disgusting and unnatural as well because they haven't been properly educated on the matter. And with a lot of people that just causes homophobic bullying and improper use of the word gay.

I honestly don't see what there is to lose with teaching kids about homosexuality. I think it should be briefly touched upon in sex ed as early as possible, and then taught in more detail further into puberty when it becomes more relevant.

 

[Edorf]

I'd probably dip into it, just dont make a big deal out of it tbh. It's important to not teach kids them evil norms, they really kill your thinking :I

 

[Ringo Redux]

Alright, I've been one of those famous net-lurkers around these forums for a long time. But, I've never registered or posted until now, and it's because of this thread. Mainly for two reasons: one, the back-and-forth here is actually intelligent and respectful (and that's rare on the internet) and two, because I like hot-button topics to weigh in on (pardon my prepositional ending). Now, preamble out of the way for my first post at EM, on to the OP...

To me, it's amazing how fast the actual issue underscoring a question can get misconstrued. That is, this really isn't a simple question of "should the child be told that some boys and girls like other boys or girls?" The simple solution to that would be to ASK the child, "well do you think you like boys or girls?" In a simple, lighthearted way. But wait, what are most kids that age going to say, "I like boys and girls!" and have no idea what you just set them up to admit to. Point is, kids are smart, but they think simply (we should all be so blessed). Sexuality will barely register in terms of it's umbrella-like nature and the considerations therein. This is why homosexuality is such a powder keg in terms of what is "taught." You simply cannot teach sexual orientation.

So, why the issue here? It's because this is a discussion about familial political correctness, not lifestyle. I speak for what I have observed in the U.S., as I am not a globetrotter, by the way. That said, we have by and large become a society (I don't say "nation," because our nation is and will always be great) of people that are obsessed with catering to people's feelings and expectations. If we don't teach our kids to be sensitive to everyone else at the expense of self, we are wrong. We are horrible parents. We are not keeping up with modern societal evolution. Now, before this becomes a rant in the wrong direction, we'll get it back to the point. If it is expected that being gay is acceptable, it should be equally as acceptable for someone to NOT find it acceptable. Does that mean someone who doesn't approve of gayness should be militant, abusive, or condescending? Absolutely not. But it DOES mean that if they want to teach their child(ren) their opinions on the homosexual persuasion, they are entitled to do so. That is what parents do. End of story. They shape children according to their values and beliefs until that child can make decisions for him/herself. NO child is capable of making long term, life-appropriate (and I use "appropriate" with great hesitance) decisions at the age of 7, 10, 14 or even 18 in some cases.

The key issue here is not should it be brought up by the parents. Several posters have said that if the child brings it up then discuss it. I agree with this. But, if you are going to discuss it, decide from which point of view you are coming from. Biological? Religious? It doesn't matter as long as there IS a standpoint.

Sadly, the most pointed area of contention within a discussion like this would be trying to eliminate bias if you don't want it in this discussion. For example - a deeply (Christian) religious family might have the discussion (or not, for the reason of purposeful omission) and point out that being gay or "liking boys/girls" (as the situation dictates) is wrong. Fine. If that is their home and their child - their business. (As an aside, there is a world of difference between not condoning homosexuality and homophobia.) There could easily be a similar family that has the Family Stone approach of homosexuality is just a tendency, such as handedness (to quote the movie) and there is nothing wrong with it. Also their business.

My advice, as a heterosexual male, married, uncle, brother, whatever - is to say to your sister-in-law (speaking to the OP, here)figure out HOW you are going to discuss it if/and when you do. The WORST thing that can happen is that you discuss the concepts of sexual orientation to a child, saying homosexuality is okay if it is based in love, and then alienating them because it isn't what you believe. That is the absolute bottom line. Teach them what you want, but be clear about how YOU feel. Don't pretty it up, don't lie through your teeth for the sake of having a "politically correct" conversation in your own home.

/deep breath.

-R.

 

[EllEzDee]

Isn't the whole point of the birds and the bees to explain how a baby is made? As far as i know, gay sex doesn't involve pregnancy.
And as has been said before, unless they're born aiming in that direction, i don't think it should be encouraged.

 

[Popido]

Never understood the meaning of these "talks". Just tell your kids to not talk to the strangers, come home before dark, play nice with others, clean their own room, eat healthy etc.

I dont think kids really care about homos. Might as well show them brown dog! Now thats exciting.


...
But on the other hand. You probably should tell them about bondage. You never know.

 

[WOPR]

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

I think she should know and be told it's okay, but not be told what they do and stuff like that

just let her know it's going on and happening in the world but don't go too deep into details or it could freak her out and leave another idiot homophobic in the world

in short- let her know, but be gentle about it

 

[Dexiro]

I'm really surprised by these responses, half of you guys have no idea how much not being educated about homosexuality can mess people up. And all this about being taught by parents or friends is a load of crap.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

Love can also occur between a man and an animal, or a woman and an animal, or a man, a woman, an alien and an animal. It's also possible that you have a desire to express your love using cream, other food, whips, poo, tinfoil, handcuffs, rapelay, domination etc. You are free to express your love in any way possible........

Yeah this sounds beautiful...

We teach kids in our society about social norms, we dont tell them about every freakin possibility there is with everything.

Comparing fictional love scenarios between aliens and humans with homosexual relationships just goes to show how badly in touch with the current reality you are.

Homosexuality BELONG to social norms in pretty much the entire western world and if a parent expect their kid to go through life never noticing that it exists or even meet a gay person then that parent lives in a fantasyworld disconnected from the real one. In the same way yours is when you try to portay it as something so uncommon as a person in love with an alien...

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

How hard is it to say, "also, some people out there like people of the same gender"? Is that really corrupting anyone?

Well you know, the kids might catch the gay if they hear that homosexuality coexists alongside heterosexuality all across the globe... That is if you believe the arguments coming from the opposition...

 

[CatmanStu]

Talking as a male who has gone through the whole sexual identity self diagnostic dilemma I can speak from my own experience on this subject.
Sex had ALWAYS been taught being closely linked with procreation so the idea of doing it scared the living shit out of me, but I still had the hormones kicking off and couldn't ignore them. With my libido arriving before my ability to notice girls I took the only option I had available, I fooled around with a male classmate (after school obviously). If I had been taught about homosexuality before this I would have gone through life thinking I was gay, when in fact all I was doing was reacting to hormones and curiosity.
I think what I am trying to say is that, in my opinion, sex and orientation are not linked at the hip: sex is how you become intimate with another person, orientation is societies way of categorising who you choose to do it with.

"I don't give a fuck who you choose to fuck, as long as you give a fuck for whoever you chose." would be my lesson to my (hypothetical) kid.

 

[Nimcha]

Hmm, I think 7 may be a little too young, but I can see no harm in telling children it's not weird that there are people who are attracted to the same sex. Ignorance breeds phobias.

I think my parents told me that when I was about 11, although I think they already had an inkling I was not straight. It helped me accept it faster, so that's a good thing.

 

[Rascarin]

Yes, without a doubt. To only teach such children about the side that they feel is "appropriate", or to prolong telling them about it until a later time, would be akin to teaching them that it is wrong or unnatural in some way, especially when they are later surrounded by people who use the term incorrectly but are aware of the definition it holds (and the last thing we need is more teenagers who use the word "gay" like the end-all solution to all insults instead of realizing and respecting another lifestyle held by a group of people).

gay was started as an insult; in fact to use it in it's appropriate, proper term is to say, "That's gay." because the two original means for gay were: unusual, near-deviant happiness; and wanton, unnecessary, or strange actions/behaviors. Homosexuals were called gay for both of those reasons in a derogatory way. It's akin to black people demanding everyone call them ******, even though that was a derogatory term white slave holders used for them. It doesn't make any sense. I personally feel the term "gay" has been hijacked by homosexuals and should be used appropriately (meaning its traditional phrases). However, barring that, the term should be eliminated altogether. I personally believe homosexuals are disrespecting themselves by using it, and thus, I do not use it to refer to homosexuals whatsoever.

"Original meaning", maybe, but these days "gay" is a term that has been adopted by the LGBT community as a means of identification, and was reclaimed by the community as an acronym for "Good As You". Words and their meanings change constantly over social time - and using the term as an insult is simply no longer appropriate in todays language.

As for homosexuals "disrespecting themselves" by using it - the way I see it (and I MAY be wrong), is that we reclaimed the phrase to try and remove the power from it when people tried to use it as an insult.

And, interestingly, the word "******" is derived from the latin for "black" (or something like that) - so the "original meaning" of the term was not an insult. From what I can gather from your logic, it is an acceptable phrase to use simply because of it's original meaning.

They exist? Crap I should become one!
What? What do you mean blondes? What are they? I'm so becoming one of those!
European? Holy moley! Sounds different! I'm so moving there!
Cactus? I am a cactus!

<3

 

[New Vegas Samurai]

How about we be honest for a moment here...
Who here learned to stereotype homosexuals from the television?
I, ashamed of the fact, did learn from near derogatory depictions of the homosexual community through the television, and movies

However, I did have a number of gay friends through my life and have seen that they are not at all what Media tells you they are.

They are just as diverse as any individual you may find, but thats out of topic...

the point here is that there are too many stereotypical renditions of homosexuals on OPEN FORUMS, and at the same time the free access to this information on places like the internet or, as aforementioned the television, can tell them them more on it rather than close them off.

This can either ruin a kid's perspective with narrow minded views, or teach them to be open minded about it. The thing here is that kids should be eased into it BEFORE they get presumptuous ideas on what truly identifies a homosexual, it's a part of life now, and even at some point modern culture,.

so I vote a yeah, but only if the parent's teach it in an unbiased manner.

 

[Something Amyss]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

Who said encouraged? This is basically "gays exist."

They exist? Crap I should become one!
What? What do you mean blondes? What are they? I'm so becoming one of those!
European? Holy moley! Sounds different! I'm so moving there!
Cactus? I am a cactus!

I kid

Kids are smarter than a lot of people take them for. With their iPhones and their computers... Really, they're well informed. And I mean it.
I got out of school 2 years ago and I was involved in the school musical and I had a lot of time to spend with kids ranging from about 7 to 17. They're pretty sharp.
Yes we should shelter them from smoking and drinking and driving the car and eating rat poisions (until they are of age/whenever) but really, you send them to school? They're gonna meet people of different religions, ethnicities and *gasp* sexualities.
So let's just hope that they're cool with it
The kids I met were cool with mine

You say you're kidding, but you're right. Kids are impressionable, and will immediately turn gay upon hearing about gays. That's why people can't separate the two, and not some silly reason that stems from discomfort more than logic....

 

[Canid117]

No, I do not. I don't think homosexuality should be encouraged, unless it actually comes from the child itself, with as little as external influence as possible.

...or the kid might catch the gay?

You would be amazed how many people think they have a sexuality they indeed have not (at least that's what I firmly believe). I feel sorry for people under 18 who claim to be homosexual, as it's more often than not insecurity.

And when did you learn you were straight?

 

[Riff Moonraker]

My pregnant sister has a 7 year old step-daughter who's in the process of learning about the birds and the bees. I was a little rattled to learn that my sister is only teaching her about hetrosexual relations, saying that it would be 'inappropriate' to tell her about homosexuality at such an early age as the step-daughter might discuss it at school and awkward phone calls from the teachers might follow. Since my sister is in a hetrosexual marriage she argued that it's what her step-daughter encounters on a daily basis, and thus is what she should be taught as the 'norm'.

Do you escapists think that children should be told about homosexuality and homosexual relationships at the same time as they're learning about straight relationships?

Absolutely not.

If an adult wants to make the decision that that lifestyle is for them, thats their business. But I completely disagree with teaching a child about it. As a parent, I find it outrageous that anyone would try to do so, to be honest.