The cake game

[Fury Is Me.]

I am the KING of the Kingdom of Loathing! *Orders a decree that all cakes in the land belong to the king and must be presented to him. Counter has no choice but to comply due to the fact that he hid the cake in the kingdom, lest he face execution.*

 

[CounterAttack]

I rescue the original king, Ralph XI, and prove you to be an usurper to the throne! Ralph XI grants me the cake, which I hide in my Secret Tropical Island Volcano Lair (Seal Clubber).

 

[Code Monkey]

I bribe your guards, and they give me the cake. I hide it in a crater on the moon.

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

That's no moon, it's the Death Star! After the death star blows up, the cake gets hurled into outer space, and is lost forever! So I bake another cake.

 

[CounterAttack]

I steal the cake before you can pull it out of the oven and hide it in a box of imitation cake.

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

I play a bunch of mini-games that lead me to the correct cake.

 

[The Heik]

I set a bunch of zombie hamsters upon you, take the cake, mix it together with some extra-bean chili (mmmmmm chili cake), eat it, then fart it out once it's digested.

Now no one wants the cake.

 

[MattZero]

I use my demonic alliances to turn back time and steal the cake before you have a chance to zombify the hamsters.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

I ram through you both with my Masamune, after i breakthrough a wall with the same ram, and steal the cake and hide it on Xirumdion, A Planet of my own making outside the universe.

 

[The Heik]

I ram through you both with my Masamune, after i breakthrough a wall with the same ram, and steal the cake and hide it on Xirumdion, A Planet of my own making outside the universe.

I follow you to the planet using my awesome ninja skills, then steal the cake while you're not looking. I hide the cake inside this thread's first post.

Infinite Loops FTW!!!!!!!

 

[Fury Is Me.]

I transform myself into data and link myself to this thread's first page and steal the cake back.

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

I hard-boot you after the cake exits but before you climb out! You are stuck, ha-ha!
I have the cake.

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

I've had the cake for three days! I win!
*Chows down on cake*

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

*Winces in pain, collapses*

*Punches drag in the face a few hours later*
Don't fuck with my balls! Unless your a lady. *Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink*

My cake now!

 

[Dumbfish1]

*Winces in pain, collapses*

*Punches drag in the face a few hours later*
Don't fuck with my balls! Unless your a lady. *Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink*

My cake now!

I dress up as a lady and use my oddly feminine charm to woo you, then, when your not suspecting it, I shoot you in the back of the knee caps and steal the cake. I hide the cake up my skirt.

Next post is post 1000!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

Damn! I had the cake for 19 days!

I reach up your skirt and take the cake.

 

[The Heik]

I call the cops on you for inappropriately touching Dumbfish1, then take the cake from the evidence locker through use of my monkeys pirates, to whom I have promised an infinite amount of bananas, hence they will not fail in bringing the cake to me.

And now I make the cake a lie.

 

[BloodyThoughts]

I use a lie detector on the Cake to rid it of your lies. Then I yell YOU ARE THY LIES! And hit you over the head with Gordan's crowbar.

I place the cake with the moon people of Venus.

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

I can't believe you guys brought this back.

I bribe the moon people with fancy loincloths and they give me they cake.