Can agree with the glue and laxative and management fantasies, we used to pass the time creatively murdering ours in our heads on quiet days.
disembowelment by bowling ball, on the grounds that anything sharper would end it too quickly, and my favourite invention, a giant orbital sander, face up, with the sanding discs made from salt instead of sand, and our 'favourite' manager lowered slowly barefoot down to it.
I may be mentally ill, but its a combination of management and customers that did it.
I've mentioned it before, but when you have to explain words like 'alphabetical' and 'surname' and 'postcode' (zipcode to our USA friends)to customers, you do lose hope in humanity.
Oh and the manager I'm talking about, this is just one reason he needed to suffer a terrible injury, at least enough to remove the power of speech.
Working in a music and dvd store.
He decides the most important thing in the store is to keep the charts filled up. Sounds fair.
He thinks the best way to do this is to order 1000s of empty VHS video boxes, screwing the office budget for the next year, and get us to 'pad out' the charts. So if we have 5 copies of the number one DVD, they'd all be right at the front of the shelves with all these boxes behind them.
Note he made this priority over taking in deliveries and readying them to go out onto the shelves, we'd have 200 copies of a chart dvd, but we couldn't book them in until all the shelves were heaving with empty cases.
Of course, then we'd go up, do the delivery, 20 minutes later, come down..take OFF all the boxes and fill it with real, sellable dvds. He honestly could not see the logic in making deliveries and till work a priority, that or he just decided that whatever he says goes and no-one else knows anything.
So 2/3rds of our work was filling shelves with pointless boxes then taking them off again, or so it felt at times. On the bright side, we became even more helpful to customers because we'd do anything to not waste our time on that buttnugget's plans.
Also, was a Saturday in early December, Xmas rush, and I'm on the early shift with him, and these calls come in *ring* cant come in, sick... over and over. Ends up with him and 3 of us, instead of the usual 12.
Queues all around the shop and out the door, and he shuts one of the tills down and takes the only girl in off to 'pad out' the shelves, despite the fact that there's no stock and she cant get to the shelves because of the queues. Also says 'we cant do lunch breaks today because we're low on staff' then backs down when we tell him we're all going home NOW unless he has some sense.
Also gained huge pleasure from someone asking me why the hell we didnt have more people on the tills, I say its the manager's decision, I'd help if I could, and he went over and essentially asked my boss if he was 'ing simple in the head or something? its a shop let your people sell stuff, you 'ing twat'. I'd have paid for video of that moment.
End of the day, we close, and I get off the shop flood, and just snap, banging my head against the wall and wailing oh god no, somebody fucking stop him, stop the pain, etc etc...
Next day, I'm in and called to the office on a disciplinary for 'affecting staff morale'. I was so stunned I literally couldnt speak for most of it.
I really didnt want to join in on this because I knew a minor leak would become a flood of pent up hate for that twat, but I guess its better out than in!
disembowelment by bowling ball, on the grounds that anything sharper would end it too quickly, and my favourite invention, a giant orbital sander, face up, with the sanding discs made from salt instead of sand, and our 'favourite' manager lowered slowly barefoot down to it.
I may be mentally ill, but its a combination of management and customers that did it.
I've mentioned it before, but when you have to explain words like 'alphabetical' and 'surname' and 'postcode' (zipcode to our USA friends)to customers, you do lose hope in humanity.
Oh and the manager I'm talking about, this is just one reason he needed to suffer a terrible injury, at least enough to remove the power of speech.
Working in a music and dvd store.
He decides the most important thing in the store is to keep the charts filled up. Sounds fair.
He thinks the best way to do this is to order 1000s of empty VHS video boxes, screwing the office budget for the next year, and get us to 'pad out' the charts. So if we have 5 copies of the number one DVD, they'd all be right at the front of the shelves with all these boxes behind them.
Note he made this priority over taking in deliveries and readying them to go out onto the shelves, we'd have 200 copies of a chart dvd, but we couldn't book them in until all the shelves were heaving with empty cases.
Of course, then we'd go up, do the delivery, 20 minutes later, come down..take OFF all the boxes and fill it with real, sellable dvds. He honestly could not see the logic in making deliveries and till work a priority, that or he just decided that whatever he says goes and no-one else knows anything.
So 2/3rds of our work was filling shelves with pointless boxes then taking them off again, or so it felt at times. On the bright side, we became even more helpful to customers because we'd do anything to not waste our time on that buttnugget's plans.
Also, was a Saturday in early December, Xmas rush, and I'm on the early shift with him, and these calls come in *ring* cant come in, sick... over and over. Ends up with him and 3 of us, instead of the usual 12.
Queues all around the shop and out the door, and he shuts one of the tills down and takes the only girl in off to 'pad out' the shelves, despite the fact that there's no stock and she cant get to the shelves because of the queues. Also says 'we cant do lunch breaks today because we're low on staff' then backs down when we tell him we're all going home NOW unless he has some sense.
Also gained huge pleasure from someone asking me why the hell we didnt have more people on the tills, I say its the manager's decision, I'd help if I could, and he went over and essentially asked my boss if he was 'ing simple in the head or something? its a shop let your people sell stuff, you 'ing twat'. I'd have paid for video of that moment.
End of the day, we close, and I get off the shop flood, and just snap, banging my head against the wall and wailing oh god no, somebody fucking stop him, stop the pain, etc etc...
Next day, I'm in and called to the office on a disciplinary for 'affecting staff morale'. I was so stunned I literally couldnt speak for most of it.
I really didnt want to join in on this because I knew a minor leak would become a flood of pent up hate for that twat, but I guess its better out than in!
