Transformers 2 Writers Explain Why it Sucked

[Namewithheld]

The fact that Transformers 2 was the worst part of a Mormon bachelor party (long story) says a LOT about how fucking terrible that film is.

I once wrote a 45 page novella in 4 hours that was better than T2, and it's probably the most embarrassingly bad thing I've written.

Seriously, a Transformers film should not be hard to make good: Likable characters in exciting situations doing cool things.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Unfortunately, it won't stand a chance without human main characters for two reasons.

1. While I love Transformers, an actual movie requires characters that the audience is capable of understanding, and the first step is to make them the same species.

2. The special effects were cool, but a whole movie of them with no real things going on would be horrible. Some of the upclose fight scenes were headache material, and there was no way of knowing what was actually going on.

Counter
1) Make one of the Autobots humanocentric. Jazz could...oh... Well, Bumblebee could as he was a VW B...oh...

How about going with Sparky from the original? Animation would obviously have worked best (WALL-E? The Lion King? Antz? Cars? Homeward Bound? Watership Down? Meerkat Manor? March of the Penguins? The Dark Crystal? The Sorceror's Apprentice? Land before Time? - All without humans - Yes, I admit that most of these were anthropomorphised characters, but that's what the Transformers were to start with.)

2) You don't need special effects. SFX have been the bane of a good story for many decades.

Take a normal battle of good versus evil. (Second World War had plenty of those scenarios as did any Samurai/Cowboy movies) Replace all the combatants with robots. Give those robots a personality. Let them fight over something (like Energon Cubes). ????. Profit.

That's how simple it is.


Would you watch this?

 

[teutonicman]

That face in the ark in the trailer better be Unicron.

It is Sentinel Prime.

Even after seeing the teaser trailer and knowing it's coming, all I can say about T3 is goddammit.

 

[Free Thinker]

#2 was a Cleveland Steamer on my childhood. Bay is on a metal wire tightrope for me.

 

[yanipheonu]

Which is a shame, since those guys can write given the right situation.

And really the only reasons those movies are popular are
a) Transformers are awesome not matter what
b) People like dumb action movies

Though Transformers 2, I can't even enjoy ironically. D: It's just really bad.

 

[Canid117]

Because "the writers, director and actors all suck at their jobs" was just too complicated? It's also nice to see them shamelessly shoving all of their failures onto Bay. It speaks volumes about their integrity.

 

[Xanar]

STOP RAPING MY CHILDHOOD. JUST STOP IT.

 

[fulano]

"The movie could have been pushed, but [Bay] uses all the same people over and over. He considers himself kind of a jobs program. And for him the idea of pushing the movie means all these people that rely on him go down and they're in between jobs, etc."

Oddly, that made me respect Michael Bay a great deal more.

 

[rembrandtqeinstein]

The movie was so bad it hurt my feelings.

 

[Jim Grim]

Was I the only person who thought Transformers 2 was really Awsome?
It had tons of action and explosions, and robot killing each other.
Not movie of the year but still really good.

It also had several 'jokes' involving dogs having sex. And by jokes, I mean they just showed us two dogs having sex. That's pretty much an indication of the standard of material on display.

 

[HotFezz8]

So what was the excuse for the first movie?

HA! wheres the like button?

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

If Bay is involved it is going to suck harder than an industrial septic vac, and smell worse.

 

[warmonkey]

I thought of this movie like I do an action game. That means I don't care what the story is and I just want to get straight into the action.

Unfortunately the action was TERRIBLE.

oh look. a whole bunch of bullshit flying across the screen so quickly you can't even see what the hell it is. Oh, Megatron and Optimus are fighting? Good thing nobody can tell them apart, it's all just rapidly-moving shiny crap. Looks like a tornado just hit a cutlery store.

And there wasn't even that much action anyway. Lotta bullshit running around and globetrotting, very little actual action.


I was perfectly fine with seeing a bad movie just to see cool effects and action sequences. I am NOT perfectly fine with going to see a bad movie with expensive effects ruined by crappy camera work and shit-tastic choreography.

 

[WanderingFool]

Was I the only person who thought Transformers 2 was really Awsome?
It had tons of action and explosions, and robot killing each other.
Not movie of the year but still really good.

It had its points (Megan Fox is NOT one of them), but they were few and rarely worked together to make a good experience. I thought the first movie was around 3 "Meh(s)", but it did seem to have a better, I guess "flow". There was a lot of action, but it really did seem to just be small puddles instead of a stream throughout the movie... and looking at what I wrote, Im not sure im making much in the way of sense...

 

[Taerdin]

Yet more proof that just because something is popular or sells well, doesn't mean it is any good.

 

[olicon]

Nobody goes to Transformer movie for the plot anyway. Most of us have seen the cartoons/animes/CG cartoons/played the game. We know the story is going to be crap, and there's no helping that. We are there for the robots, for the glorious effects, and to worship Soundwave and Shockwave.

Bay knows this. He knows we're just after the sfx, and he delivers.

 

[hexFrank202]

I thought it was pretty good.

You HAVE to give it that it and Transformers 1 was at least unique in certain ways.

And unique + watchable = I enjoy it.

 

[Woodsey]

So what was the excuse for the first movie?

Exactly my thoughts.

I had to turn that fucking thing off halfway through - and that was an hour and a half in (although it felt like much, much longer).

How people can watch such drivel is beyond me. And don't even get me started on the excuses of "its just supposed to be fun".

 

[tzimize]

So what was the excuse for the first movie?

I found the first movie to be extremely entertaining. It has to be said that I have not followed transformers like a religion, but I've been a fan. And I still think that the first movie was fucking awesome, while still being a pop-corn flick.

The second one was ruined by the homie-bots.

 

[lightsier]

Transformer 2's action was one of the few movies that I could say was boring. Meaningless fight after meaning flight and all the Decepticons looked like Megatron. I was so bored! Then near the end it become an American Army propaganda flick. I've never seen evil Aliens get beat down by the US Army as much as the Decepticons did.