"Unavoidable" Global Bacon Shortage Expected Next Year

[Paradoxrifts]

"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all

So you're some sort of Vegan, or Vegetarian?

I am not at all surprised to tell you the truth. Now go back to your novelty collection of fondue pots, knave, and leave us in our misery.

 

[Alcamonic]

As long as the soy production holds up, I will be fine.

Also, what is this about soy bacon? WHY DOES MY LOCAL STORE NOT HAVE THIS!?

 

[RipRoaringWaterfowl]

Wait...

It all makes sense now.

When Aku wanted to send me to a dystopian future, at first I thought he failed. But now I realize: he wanted me to become acclimated to a good, if flawed, world, then slowly eat away at it until we are all in a world of shit. He wanted to truly break me, as well as the world.

I need to stop him.

I must go back in time and defeat him.

I must... save the bacon.

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[Paradoxrifts]

"Bacon is for sycophants and the products of incest."

That is all

So you're some sort of Vegan, or Vegetarian?

I am not at all surprised to tell you the truth. Now go back to your novelty collection of fondue pots, knave, and leave us in our misery.

Spoiler: Let me educate you

I still think your fridge is full of tofu, and crisp vegetables, and whole grains, and fresh fruit.

You absolute monster.

 

[Xanadu84]

Hang on, I thought pigs could eat almost any food type. Meat, grains, veg, I've even heard of them eating human remains. I fail to see how they could not have been fed with a substitute.

The problem is that crops like Corn are already optimized extremely well for giving calories per acre of land. For a small number of pigs, it's plenty easy to just throw scraps and forage locally. But for pigs on that industrial scale, you need massive quantities of cultivated crops, and alternatives would barely be a drop in the bucket.

Also, in case anyone is ACTUALLY freaking out, don't worry. You're not looking at store shelves devoid of delicious bacon. You're looking at paying an extra couple bucks for a pack. Supply goes down, then prices will increase so demand drops to match. Either you will spend the extra money, or you won't care enough to spend the extra money. You will be fine either way. Not that freaking out and expressing a love for bacon isn't harmless amusement, because it is, and Bacon is delicious.

 

[Xanadu84]

Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

shit yeah

Sorry to bum you out, but the reason we are going to have a bacon shortage is because we are having a soy shortage.

More people eat bacon than soy, so..... All soy will be going to feed the bac-, I mean pigs. ;p

Edit: Ah, I have been ninja'd. First time.

Probably not. It takes a lot of soy to get some amount of bacon. Especially since most of that soy will be turned into other various types of pork. It would make sense to double down on Soy sales, hopefully benefiting from a price increase, then to try to eek out a little bacon.

 

[OldNewNewOld]

You people don't realize that this was the plan of AlKaida all along.
Muslims and Jews don't eat pork. They made an alliance in order to change the world order. Bin Laden was just a distraction, a small fish.

>.>
<.<
*puts on tinfoil hat*
Finally safe. -,-'

 

[Souleks]

I think in these dire circumstances sacrifices must be made so if bacon supplies must go down so must the population we can't feed all of you so I think some of you must be sacrificed.After all desperate times call for desperate measures.

not it.

 

[Evil Smurf]

I bet PETA is behind this.

 

[Olas]

This will make being a vegetarian slightly easier.

 

[Steeveeo]

December 21, 2012: The Day the Bacon Ended

 

[FrozenCones]

Hah, I eat soy bacon bitches. Let's get some fuckin' synthetic poultry UP IN THIS

shit yeah

 

[Sinocenturion]

Thank god. So maybe now all the hipster douches who rant about bacon and put bacon on everything including fucking ice-cream can find some other food to love ironically.

You shouldn't knock it until you try it dude. I've had the ice cream that was in that photo...it is soooooo good.

By the way, that ice cream was made by a company called Coolhaus in Los Angeles. They also make a chicken and waffle ice cream that is INSANE! So I guess that they got the bacon crisis covered!

 

[Ganondork100]

As long as we still have Nutella, then the worl- no, the universe should still be in balance.

 

[Kopikatsu]

I actually eat tofakon, so this doesn't bother me at all.

Yay for tofakon!

 

[Scorpid]

This actually doesn't effect me that much, I'm much more of chicken guy. Bacon always makes my po' tummy hurt oh so much.

 

[The Mighty Stove]

My love no..... they can't take you, THEY CAN'T TAKE YOU FROM ME!

 

[PhunkyPhazon]

Mike, you realize April Fools Day isn't for another 7 months, right? Right?

...Right?

 

[Phantom Kat]

Meh New Zealand produces its own bacon so I think I'll be fine. Such is the benefits of an agricultural economy.

 

[orangeapples]

why doesn't everyone just stockpile on bacon and throw it in a giant industrial freezer. Then when the whole December 2012 thing happens you can use your bacon supply as currency in the destroyed world.

or if that doesn't happen you can just enjoy your bacon while everyone else suffers.