Violent women.
- Thread starter IrisEver
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That's nice of you. It really is. But you asked why society behaves a certain way, I just supplied the answer. I agree with you, by the way, as far as the punching scenario goes. However, a lot of people, male and female, do not. The attitude expected of men/women and toward men/women is fairly deeply encoded into the general western culture. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, just saying that's how it is.IrisEver said:
I do think that if there's a social stigma against agressive behavior towards a certain group there should also be a stigma against agression by the members of that group to balance it out. And if one is to be phased out, the other should be as well.
Fortunately, things seem to be progressing in that general direction. Social change tends to be slow, but it happens. I'm pretty sure that in a decade or two I'll be able to punch women and nobody will bat an eyelash!
I have no problem with a woman being out there and herself. I dont like the stereotype girlfriend either, the one that just follows you and does what you do. However, I don't like it when a woman, or anyone for that matter, acts aggresive towards me, whether it be over a dispute or a disagreement. My outlook on life is that aggression and violence are not needed in a relationship, if you can't talk out your problems in a calm way with those you love, the obviously your with the wrong person.
I spent half my young life dealing with tougher-than-average women. Probably because I don't feel comfortable around people weaker physically than me - usually I was afraid I'd hurt them by accident.
Except when a girl thinks swearing + smoking = aggressive. Sorry, nope. It's called weak-minded.
Except when a girl thinks swearing + smoking = aggressive. Sorry, nope. It's called weak-minded.
That's interesting. I actually agree that simply 'swearing and smoking' doesn't mean aggressive. But I'll have to disagree that they're necessarily weak minded. Well, smoking is if you're addicted and complain about being addicted. But smoking also has zero to do with aggression.Abedeus said:
Swear words are just sounds that we've applied intense and passionate meaning to as a culture. They're not inherently wrong or the sign of a weak person. If it's all their vocabulary consists of, then I see where you're coming from. But the odd word of anger or passion? Nope. Not the sign of an aggressive or assertive person, but I don't think swear words necessarily take anything away from a personality as long as it's not "Jeremy Kyle guest" level.
Why didn't you just say "tough" or something similar instead of "violent"? "Violent women" sounds like the beginning of a troll, and the way you refuted didn't help that much.IrisEver said:
Welcome to western society-- some would say it's more universal, and there are difficulties in arguing with that.IrisEver said:
Genetics, upbringing, society, reinforcement by peers, reinforcement by women, who knows. You're probably not going to change it single-handedly so you should find someone who understands you.IrisEver said:
It's sensible to avoid "quite aggressive" people, male or female.
You say "But I like violence (as play in a relationship, or as a happy relationship dynamic)." I wonder, does this mean you strike your partner?
No-one would put up with a man being violent with his girlfriend; why do you suppose they should put up with a woman desiring to be violent with a spouse?
You're not going to find a whole lot of people who find violence to be acceptable in any case other than self-defense.
You say "But I like violence (as play in a relationship, or as a happy relationship dynamic)." I wonder, does this mean you strike your partner?
No-one would put up with a man being violent with his girlfriend; why do you suppose they should put up with a woman desiring to be violent with a spouse?
You're not going to find a whole lot of people who find violence to be acceptable in any case other than self-defense.
Well, it is seen as sort of immature and anti-social to be violent. So that's naturally where a "childish" label will come in.
Of course, there are stupid times when men will get an excuse for acting childishly violent because it's "masculine". Luckily, or hopefully that mentality is on the decline, though.
On the other hand, I'm childish enough to find a bit of immature violence fun sometimes. Especially from women. I don't care whether they're positive or negative traits, I just don't like them being associated with men.
Of course, there are stupid times when men will get an excuse for acting childishly violent because it's "masculine". Luckily, or hopefully that mentality is on the decline, though.
On the other hand, I'm childish enough to find a bit of immature violence fun sometimes. Especially from women. I don't care whether they're positive or negative traits, I just don't like them being associated with men.
I actually said violent because I meant violent. I was simply refuting people thinking that all it can mean is that I'm a sociopath. If I were a sociopath, I'd admit it. People are so adversed to violence, and jump on the 'Ooohh that's always bad' train so readily.General Vagueness said:
I didn't refute it well because I didn't have much to refute. All I did was put it in more easy to understand terms with the 'playfighting' reference. People seemed of the thought that I wanted a partner that I didnt respect, and could bash around at will. Not so. Infact, quite the opposite. I want a partner who I can absolutely respect and can take whatever will I 'throw'.
Some one earlier put it better. Unstoppable Force meets Unmovable Object. A lack of delicacy, so the relationship itself isn't so delicate.
A man knowing the difference between me being hot tempered, and me not respecting him. Realising there is a difference. A man who isn't phased by what I say. Not simply deals with it, but isn't phased. Someone not so sensitive.
I never claimed to be socially intelligent. I don't think I am. So I'm not surprised if I'm portraying myself as a sociopath. Heck, maybe I am. So, if you really think I am, there's that admission.
Why would you even want to label yourself as "violent woman"? An hot headed? If you dont get your own way do you lash out? How violent are you? Your thread reads like you are trying hard to be against the supposed norms of a woman....even though those norms are unreal and have been unless you lived in the 40's where woman were meek housewives only. Just sounds like your bragging and going out of your way to say how different you are even though this will just alienate you from others. As if that makes you unique. But many woman like play fighting and will stand up for themselves and not be meek. Most woman are like this. Ive date woman that are very feminine and love a good play fight in the bedroom and also wont take crap and will stand up for themselves when needed.
Me, i want a woman to be a woman. To be confident and be herself. Not a woman that acts bossy, who gets angry and violent just because someone disagrees with her or if she cant get her own way. No guy wants that. Would you prefer to date a weak man that you can dominate? Or would you prefer a hot headed male and spend your relationship arguing about everything because both of you wont back down? Also you wont find a guy that will just put up with whatever you dish out. Only a weak man will, and you said you dont want that.
Me, i want a woman to be a woman. To be confident and be herself. Not a woman that acts bossy, who gets angry and violent just because someone disagrees with her or if she cant get her own way. No guy wants that. Would you prefer to date a weak man that you can dominate? Or would you prefer a hot headed male and spend your relationship arguing about everything because both of you wont back down? Also you wont find a guy that will just put up with whatever you dish out. Only a weak man will, and you said you dont want that.
I'm not quite sure what you're getting at OP, but I'll contribute my piece anyways.
I don't have anything against violent, hot-tempered girls as such, but I would say that I wouldn't be compatible with one, as I'm a bit of a loose cannon myself, and I would be scared to hell what would happen if we happened to unleash on each other. At the moment, I try to keep my off-the-chain rages to: controlling completely to dissipation, or just screaming like a psycho and walking out before anything happens. These are like, less than yearly affairs though.
HOWEVER. What I'm also getting from you is you like playfighting, now I like wrestling with my wife every now and then but that's about it. I wouldn't mind even having a partner who I could slip gloves on and have a good bit of sparring, (wife has some crazy flexible kicks that catch me off guard), but to have someone that is actually violent, with extremes that I couldn't tell where, is just plain scary. If you understand what I'm getting at. I see myself as pretty scary and untrustworthy in my younger days as to what I'd do, now I've grown out of it, but I don't know if I could handle someone like that.
Oh, and I try to establish a balance. I don't like mothering, and I don't like a submissive girl either that just says 'yes' and agrees to everything and puts me completely on a pedestal.
I don't have anything against violent, hot-tempered girls as such, but I would say that I wouldn't be compatible with one, as I'm a bit of a loose cannon myself, and I would be scared to hell what would happen if we happened to unleash on each other. At the moment, I try to keep my off-the-chain rages to: controlling completely to dissipation, or just screaming like a psycho and walking out before anything happens. These are like, less than yearly affairs though.
HOWEVER. What I'm also getting from you is you like playfighting, now I like wrestling with my wife every now and then but that's about it. I wouldn't mind even having a partner who I could slip gloves on and have a good bit of sparring, (wife has some crazy flexible kicks that catch me off guard), but to have someone that is actually violent, with extremes that I couldn't tell where, is just plain scary. If you understand what I'm getting at. I see myself as pretty scary and untrustworthy in my younger days as to what I'd do, now I've grown out of it, but I don't know if I could handle someone like that.
Oh, and I try to establish a balance. I don't like mothering, and I don't like a submissive girl either that just says 'yes' and agrees to everything and puts me completely on a pedestal.