Welcome to Sburb! (Dead and Over)

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Reach Village.

Awesome. Um, hey old turtle guy, can you give me those maps now?

You don't know why you would waste all that time walking with these guys to here. Still, better to do the right thing and shit.

Spoiler: OOC for Everyone

Just wanted to say happy thanksgiving everyone! I was doing stuff yesterday, so I couldn't say anything. Hope yesterday went well and stuff!

Oh, and Pappy, can we do a Sprite log some time soon? I'm cool with waiting and stuff, if I need to.

 

[MetroidNut]

>MetroidNut: Manipulate holiday spirit of GM.

HA HA HA, HA HA HA HA HA thanks.

>MetroidNut: Concur with Benndak.

In a Homestuck RPG, the willingness to turn running jokes into plot points/characters is a fine quality indeed.

>Rich: Progress.

You don't think you could carry Sheriff Quickdraw while jetpacking, so you decide to take things slow and walk alongside him. Also, you make a note to get him a JETPACK as soon as possible.

Setting off for the next outpost, the two of you walk into the sunset.

 

[CJ1145]

>Future Dirk: Use amazing teleportation device

What a coincidence! You just so happened to have made a device specifically for this sort of--oh. Oh, wait, no. You lost that one.

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

You... you think you're just going to have to WALK. You do so.

>Dirk: Consider the plight of the oppressed Underling

As you gaze down on this vast army and feel rather unimpressed (by which you mean fucking terrified), you ask SNAKE EYES if you think he might be able to convert some of them to your side. You know you only got him to join through INTIMIDATION, and you say you're sorry for being so mean, but you ask if maybe another UNDERLING talking to them will get some to see reason.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

>Xavier: Your thoughts?
Get your knife, make a plan, protect C-Diddy
You do not succumb to thoughts of response to the God's statistics for you and your comrades COMPANIONS.

>Xavier: Get your knife
You preform a TACTICAL ROLL and grab it.

>Xavier: Make a plan
Boots? No. Going straight ahead? He shouldn't fall for that twice, if he did, he would be the stupidest mini-boss ever. Flying up and doing a melee attack? No, the lightning would shoot me down before I could get close. God, I wish I had a long-range weapon in my strife specibus. Wait, long range!

>Xavier: Follow the plan
Taking your SUPERNATURAL STRAP out of your SYLLADEX, you FLING it over the WYVERN'S head while you ATTACK his open flesh.

[HEADING=1]THE STRAP RUSE
WAS A..........
DISTACTION[/HEADING]

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Greet LS

You smile and bow to LS,telling him you are glad to see him well and you hope that he has liked the book.You motion to the ROWS and ROWS of BOOKSHELVES and admit that you find the whole place fascinating!Once everything is over and done with you hope to come back here and explore this place to a greater degree.

You then gesture to him and ask how he has been.

 

[Pappytech]

>Chas: Apparently FUTURE-DIRK is no longer around. You do however, get the feeling that this symbol has something to do with a certain Hero...

Also, you're struck by the sudden realization that this is Greg's Land; perhaps the BOSS DOOR won't open unless he's there to engage the enemy that lies within. Lord knows your laser-kicks aren't doing much.

Ace Tailspin almost takes your head off as he Pchoooos by on his jetpack.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Connor: You do realize you could have carried one of the TURTLES back with you, right?

In any case, the bearded TURTLE leads you to a small hut, packed full of books and papers. He spends some time methodically going through them all, before finally handing you a worn and tattered MAP.

You also spot a RETURN NODE just outside the village.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Rich: As you and Quickdraw venture down the road, you are suddenly beset by a group of IMPS and a couple of OGRES. Oh no.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Future Dirk: Oh. OH. Well then. Uh... yeah. Walking sounds good.

You begin to make your way around the cycle of Lands, encountering groups of Consorts, Underlings, and various other beings, including an old BOXER, some guy with a shotgun, and an OGRE covered in paint and clay.

To your surprise, you encounter SIS near the Fourth Gate on the Land of Sea and Crystal. She doesn't seem surprised to see you, and nods at you in greeting.

>Dirk: Snake Eyes seems uncomfortable with the idea, but heads towards the encampment nonetheless. However, as soon as the other Underlings spot his unique armor, they sound the alarm and begin attacking him.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Xavier: You toss the totally-nonmagical item towards the WYVERN. Again, the SUPERNATURAL STRAP is in no way, shape, or form, magical. Since magic doesn't exist.

The STRAP wraps around the WYVERN's throat and begins strangling it. With science. While he's distracted you're able to stab the WYVERN in the gut again. Overwhelmed, the creature explodes in a shower of Grist.

Level up!

Level 21 Stabby Tyke. +5 Boonbucks.

The door to the EAST slides open.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Greg: LS nervously replies that he's been doing fine. After an awkward pause, he asks how you are doing.

 

[Pappytech]

Sigh... forum bump.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Chuckle to self

You just smile and chuckle.You tell him that you have been doing fine.Well,minus the whole situation with Jack Noir.You probably could have done without that.

You ask LS if there is anything you can do for him before you return to the waking world.

 

[WafflesandBacon]

Well shit.
You didn't expect to choke the dude, but whatever. You pick up SUPERNATURAL STRAP, which, by the way, OOZES WITH FUCKING MAGICAL AND PARANORMAL ACTIVITY, NO MATTER WHAT SOME GODDAMN FATE-DECIDING GODMONSTER SAYS.

>Xavier: Have 'red' feelings for C-Diddy
What?! Hell no! You ABJURE the SHIT out that command!

>===>
Besides, that's your BRO, i.e. your BROTHER IN PIMPDOM.

You never saw it, but you know, for a IRREFUTABLE FACT, that this ************ right here was MACKIN' on ALL THE PARROT BITCHES. This ************ had at least, 10,000 BITCHES at his beck and call, if not more. This ************ was so BALLIN' that he had a BIRDHOUSE in his BIRDHOUSE, and do you know who internal BIRDHOUSE was for? His BITCHES!

You've seen this all with your LIFEY POWERS, from the CALDRON OF DARK MAGIC, his past was herald by the smoke of your concoction.

You might be fabricating things, but you don't give a fuck.

>Xavier and C-Diddy: Be swagged out
You're already SWAGGED OUT, numbnuts! In fact, you've been SWAGGED OUT as long as you both can remember, you think it might be a curse or something!

>Xavier and C-Diddy: Make a group to establish your swag
X-GANG, ************! MOST SWAGGED GROUP IN THE INCISPHERE, REPPIN' LOCAF TILL WE DIE! FUCK TEAM ALDRICK!

Wait, you're not supposed to know about Team Aldrick, but you don't give a fuck.

>X-Gang: Enter that door
Fuck yeah, you all do so.

 

[MetroidNut]

>Rich: Plow through the OGRES, Kool-Aid Man style.

You don't think you will.

>Rich: Engage JETPACK, circle-strafe.

With your knowledge of how well this went last time, you start circling the enemies, firing the CHAMPION'S BULLETBOOM at him. You're hoping the sweet, melodious, flying death you deal will distract the enemies, allowing the indescribably badass Sheriff Quickdraw to pick off the IMPS!

 

[Connor Lonske]

>Connor: Observe map.

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: LS responds, nervously of course, that he would sooner die than be a burden to the Prince of Prospit. Surely you must have duties far more pressing than concerning yourself with the needs of a single citizen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Xavier: Despite your best attempts, you fail to turn this into PIMPSTUCK. That's a direction we're not going in.

C-Diddy suddenly sports a kick-ass pair of AVIATOR shades that drive all the ladies wild (Much like the ones Benndak claims to have, but probably doesn't). He pulled them out of hammerspace or something, I don't know.

Anyway, the two of you head through the door to the NORTH.

You find yourself in a fairly nondescript room, with another riddle written on the wall.
"What force and strength cannot get through,
I with a gentle touch can do.
and many in these twisted halls would stand
were I not, as a friend, at hand...
What am I?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Rich: You deal an enormous amount of damage to the OGRES with your horrible pun. So much so, that one of them is quickly felled by a quick burst of fire from your weapon. The other two stumble around, clearly dazed.

Meanwhile, Quickdraw manages to shoot down a single IMP, before being knocked backward by the recoil from his gun.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Chas: You quickly find the Land's Third Gate, in the SALAMANDER outpost.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Connor: You spot a few points of interest on the MAP. The Third Gate, which you've already been to, another temple somewhere on this island, and what appears to be a mysterious cave.

 

[ArcNitemare]

>Greg:Frown

You frown and tell LS that he is hardly a burden and you would rather he not die.But he is right,you have more important matters then standing around and chatting.

Before you go,you lean in and give LS a hug and whisper into his ear,or what equates for an ear for them,that no matter the shape,size,or color,all life means something to you.

You then give him a quick bow before flying off back to your Tower.

Once you are in your tower you flop back onto the bed.Everything seems to be going somewhat well,but you will have to watch as things develop.

You just sigh and let sleep claim you once again.

>Greg:Return to the Waking World

 

[CJ1145]

>Dirk: Save your companion

Spoiler

Don't worry, SNAKE EYES! You're on the--

Spoiler

OH SHIT.

You hit the ground with a thud and roll over, unleashing a salvo from your HYPERION GUNBLADE at the OCCULOSI's ARM.

>Future Dirk: Talk to Sis

Uh... you're not quite sure you know how. You were never very good at actual conversations with her, normally you just left notes and shit around the house.

"Uh..."

>Future Dirk: Go on a long monologue explaining the timeline you come from and what went wrong, and how you're going to save her and everyone else from this one, and also Alpha-You is going to have to die to ascend to god tiers so please don't kill you when you do it.

OK.

 

[MetroidNut]

>Rich: Be a better distraction.

You spray sonic blasts in a line, just in front of any IMPS that may be attacking Sheriff Quickdraw. You hope this will aid the Sheriff's obvious but nonetheless clever ploy to fake vulnerability, tricking the IMPS into ignoring him and allowing him to deliver a SECRET ATTACK!

This accomplished, you resume circle-strafing and shooting the OGRES.

>MetroidNut: Also have aviators.

As of Wednesday. And they are glorious.

 

[Connor Lonske]

>CG: He has no bipches??

Heh heh heh.

>Connor: Go back into return node.

Yeah, you got an idea for your bombs. There so da bomb, it's better than Sex Bob0-Omb! Just thinking about it is gonna make you explode!

 

[Pappytech]

>Greg: You slowly wake up back on your real bed, with PERIWINKLE (I've been spelling that wrong for how many pages now? A lot.) curled up on your chest.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Chas: You JETPACK your way into the Third Gate, and instantly crash into someone's house. Again.

After picking yourself up and dusting your suit off, you realize that you just crashed through someone's bedroom wall. Luckily, it's currently unoccupied, so no one's here to get mad at you for it.

Gazing out through the new hole, you stare out at the Land of Glass and Flame.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Dirk: The OCCULOSI barely reacts to your attack, and prepares to smash you again. It looks like you're going to need something with serious power to even scratch this guy.

>Future Dirk: SIS nods in acknowledgement of your speech. She then asks how you expect to survive long enough to kill present-you; as a Beta Dirk, your time is quite limited.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Rich: Your covering fire is enough to get Quickdraw back up on his feet. He promptly takes down another IMP, and is knocked to the ground again.

Meanwhile, one of the two remaining OGRES has gotten alarmingly close to you, nearly taking you out with one of his fists.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

>Connor: You return to your house.